da.solongandthanksforallthefish-第6部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　　Seeing　himself　for　the　first　time　suddenly　in　a　familiar　context；　he　had　to　admit　that　the　dog　had　a　point。
　　He　looked　a　lot　like　something　a　farmer　would　use　to　scare　birds　with；　and　there　was　no　doubt　but　that　to　go　into　the　pub　in　his　present　condition　would　excite　ments　of　a　raucous　kind；　and　worse　still；　there　would　doubtless　be　several　people　in　there　at　the　moment　whom　he　knew；　all　of　whom　would　be　bound　to　bombard　him　with　questions　which；　at　the　moment；　he　felt　ill…equipped　to　deal　with。
　　Will　Smithers；　for　instance；　the　owner　of　Know…Nothing…Bozo　the　Non…Wonder　Dog；　an　animal　so　stupid　that　it　had　been　sacked　from　one　of　Will's　own　mercials　for　being　incapable　of　knowing　which　dog　food　it　was　supposed　to　prefer；　despite　the　fact　that　the　meat　in　all　the　other　bowls　had　had　engine　oil　poured　over　it。
　　Will　would　definitely　be　in　there。　Here　was　his　dog；　here　was　his　car；　a　grey　Porsche　928S　with　a　sign　in　the　back　window　which　read；　〃My　other　car　is　also　a　Porsche。〃　Damn　him。
　　He　stared　at　it　and　realized　that　he　had　just　learned　something　he　hadn't　known　before。
　　Will　Smithers；　like　most　of　the　overpaid　and　under…scrupulous　bastards　Arthur　knew　in　advertising　made　a　point　of　changing　his　car　every　August　so　that　he　could　tell　people　his　accountant　made　him　do　it；　though　the　truth　was　that　his　accountant　was　trying　like　hell　to　stop　him；　what　with　all　the　alimony　he　had　to　pay；　and　so　on　…　and　this　was　the　same　car　Arthur　remembered　him　having　before。　The　number　plate　proclaimed　its　year。
　　Given　that　it　was　now　winter；　and　that　the　event　which　had　caused　Arthur　so　much　trouble　eight　of　his　personal　years　ago　had　occurred　at　the　beginning　of　September；　less　than　six　or　seven　months　could　have　passed　here。
　　He　stood　terribly　still　for　a　moment　and　let　Know…Nothing…Bozo　jump　up　and　down　yapping　at　him。　He　was　suddenly　stunned　by　a　realization　he　could　no　longer　avoid；　which　was　this：　he　was　now　an　alien　on　his　own　world。　Try　as　he　might；　no　one　was　even　to　be　able　to　believe　his　story。　Not　only　did　it　sound　perfectly　potty；　but　it　was　flatly　contradicted　by　the　simplest　observable　facts。
　　Was　this　really　the　Earth？　Was　there　the　slightest　possibility　that　he　had　made　some　extraordinary　mistake？
　　The　pub　in　front　of　him　was　unbearably　familiar　to　him　in　every　detail　…　every　brick；　every　piece　of　peeling　paint；　and　inside　he　could　sense　its　familiar　stuffy；　noisy　warmth；　its　exposed　beams；　its　unauthentic　cast…iron　light　fittings；　its　bar　sticky　with　beer　that　people　he　knew　had　put　their　elbows　in；　overlooked　by　cardboard　cutouts　of　girls　with　packets　of　peanuts　stapled　all　over　their　breasts。　It　was　all　the　stuff　of　his　home；　his　world。
　　He　even　knew　this　blasted　dog。
　　…　Hey；　Know…Nothing！
　　The　sound　of　Will　Smithers'　voice　meant　he　had　to　decide　what　do　to　quickly。　If　he　stood　his　ground　he　would　be　discovered　and　the　whole　circus　would　begin。　To　hide　would　only　postpone　the　moment；　and　it　was　bitterly　cold　now。
　　The　fact　that　it　was　Will　made　the　choice　easier。　It　wasn't　that　Arthur　disliked　him　as　such　…　Will　was　quite　fun。　It　was　just　that　he　was　fun　in　such　an　exhausting　way　because；　being　in　advertising；　he　always　wanted　you　to　know　how　much　fun　he　was　having　and　where　he　had　got　his　jacket　from。
　　Mindful　of　this；　Arthur　hid　behind　a　van。
　　…　Hey；　Know…Nothing；　what's　up？
　　The　door　opened　and　Will　came　out；　wearing　a　leather　flying　jacket　that　he'd　got　a　mate　of　his　at　the　Road　Research　Laboratory　to　crash　a　car　into　specially；　in　order　to　get　that　battered　look。　Know…Nothing　yelped　with　delight　and；　having　got　the　attention　it　wanted；　was　happy　to　forget　Arthur。
　　Will　was　with　some　friends；　and　they　had　a　game　they　played　with　the　dog。
　　…　mies！　…　they　all　shouted　at　the　dog　in　chorus。　…　mies；　mies；　mies！！！
　　The　dog　went　berserk　with　barking；　prancing　up　and　down；　yapping　its　little　heart　out；　beside　itself　in　transports　of　ecstatic　rage。　They　all　laughed　and　cheered　it　on；　then　gradually　dispersed　to　their　various　cars　and　disappeared　into　the　night。
　　Well　that　clears　one　thing　up；　thought　Arthur　from　behind　the　van；　this　is　quite　definitely　the　planet　I　remember。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　7
　　
　　His　house　was　still　there。
　　How　or　why；　he　had　no　idea。　He　had　decided　to　go　and　have　a　look　while　he　was　waiting　for　the　pub　to　empty；　so　that　he　could　go　and　ask　the　landlord　for　a　bed　for　the　night　when　everyone　else　had　gone。　And　there　it　was。
　　He　hurriedly　let　himself　in　with　the　key　he　kept　under　a　stone　frog　in　the　garden；　because；　astoundingly；　the　phone　was　ringing。
　　He　had　heard　it　faintly　all　the　way　up　the　lane　and　had　started　to　run　as　soon　as　he　realized　where　the　sound　was　ing　from。
　　The　door　had　to　be　forced　open　because　of　the　astonishing　accumulation　of　junk　mail　on　the　doormat。　It　jammed　itself　stuck　on　what　he　would　later　discover　were　fourteen　identical；　personally　addressed　invitations　to　apply　for　a　credit　card　he　already　had；　seventeen　identical　threatening　letters　for　nonpayment　of　bills　on　a　credit　card　he　didn't　have；　thirty…three　identical　letters　saying　that　he　personally　had　been　specially　selected　as　a　man　of　taste　and　discrimination　who　knew　what　he　wanted　and　where　he　was　going　in　today's　sophisticated　jetsetting　world　and　would　he　therefore　like　to　buy　some　grotty　wallet；　and　also　a　dead　tabby　kitten。
　　He　rammed　himself　through　the　relatively　narrow　opening　afforded　by　all　this；　stumbled　through　a　pile　of　wine　offers　that　no　discriminating　connoisseur　would　want　to　miss；　slithered　over　a　heap　of　beach　villa　holidays；　blundered　up　the　dark　stairs　to　his　bedroom　and　got　to　the　phone　just　as　it　stopped　ringing。
　　He　collapsed；　panting；　on　to　his　cold；　musty…smelling　bed　and　for　a　few　minutes　stopped　trying　to　prevent　the　world　from　spinning　round　his　head　in　the　way　it　obviously　wanted　to。
　　When　it　had　enjoyed　its　little　spin　and　had　calmed　down　a　bit；　Arthur　reached　out　for　the　bedside　light；　not　expecting　it　to　e　on。　To　his　surprise　it　did。　This　appealed　to　Arthur's　sense　of　logic。　Since　the　Electricity　Board　cut　him　off　without　fail　every　time　he　paid　his　bill；　it　seemed　only　reasonable　that　they　should　leave　him　connected　when　he　didn't。　Sending　them　money　obviously　only　drew　attention　to　yourself。
　　The　room　was　much　as　he　had　left　it；　i。e。　festeringly　untidy；　though　the　effect　was　muted　a　little　by　a　thick　layer　of　dust。　Half…read　books　and　magazines　nestled　amongst　piles　of　half…used　towels。　Half　pairs　of　socks　reclined　in　half…drunk　cups　of　coffee。　What　was　once　a　half…eaten　sandwich　had　now　half…turned　into　something　that　Arthur　entirely　didn't　want　to　know　about。　Bung　a　fork　of　lightning　through　this　lot；　he　thought　to　himself；　and　you'd　start　the　evolution　of　life　all　over　again。
　　There　was　only　one　thing　in　the　room　that　was　different。
　　For　a　moment　or　so　he　couldn't　see　what　the　one　thing　that　was　different　was；　because　it　too　was　covered　in　a　film　of　disgusting　dust。　Then　his　eyes　caught　it　and　stopped。
　　It　was　next　to　a　battered　old　television　on　which　it　was　only　possible　to　watch　Open　University　Study　Courses；　because　if　it　tried　to　show　anything　more　exciting　it　would　break　down。
　　It　was　a　box。
　　Arthur　pushed　himself　up　on　his　elbows　and　peered　at　it。
　　It　was　a　grey　box；　with　a　kind　of　dull　lustre　to　it。　It　was　a　cubic　grey　box；　just　over　a　foot　on　a　side。　It　was　tied　with　a　single　grey　ribbon；　knotted　into　a　neat　bow　on　the　top。
　　He　got　up；　walked　over　and　touched　it　in　surprise。　Whatever　it　was　was　clearly　gift…wrapped；　neatly　and　beautifully；　and　was　waiting　for　him　to　open　it。
　　Cautiously；　he　picked　it　up　and　carried　it　back　to　the　bed。　He　brushed　the　dust　off　the　top　and　loosened　the　ribbon。　The　top　of　the　box　was　a　lid；　with　a　flap　tucked　into　the　body　of　the　box。
　　He　untucked　it　and　looked　into　the　box。　In　it　was　a　glass　globe；　nestling　in　fine　grey　tissue　paper。　He　drew　it　out；　carefully。　It　wasn't　a　proper　globe　because　it　was　open　at　the　bottom；　or；　as　Arthur　realized　turning　it　over；　at　the　top；　with　a　thick　rim。　It　was　a　bowl。　A　fish　bowl。
　　It　was　made　of　the　most　wonderful　glass　perfectly　transparent；　yet　with　an　extraordinary　silver…grey　quality　as　if　crystal　and　slate　had　gone　into　its　making。
　　Arthur　slowly　turned　it　over　and　over　in　his　hands。　It　was　one　of　the　most　beautiful　objects　he　had　ever　seen；　but　he　was　entirely　perplexed　by　it。　He　looked　into　the　box；　but　other　than　the　tissue　paper　there　was　nothing。　On　the　outside　of　the　box　there　was　nothing。
　　He　turned　the　bowl　round　again。　It　was　wonderful。　It　was　exquisite。　But　it　was　a　fish　bowl。
　　He　tapped　it　with　his　thumbnail　and　it　rang　with　a　deep　and　glorious　chime　which　was　sustained　for　longer　than　seemed　possible；　and　when　at　last　it　faded　seemed　not　to　die　away　but　to　drift　off　into　other　worlds；　as　into　a　deep　sea　dream。
　　Entranced；　Arthur　turned　it　round　yet　again；　and　this　time　the　light　from　the　dusty　little　bedside　lamp　caught　it　at　a　different　angle　and　glittered　on　some　fine　abrasions　on　the　fish　bowl's　surface。　He　held　it　up；　adjusting　the　angle　to　the　light；　and　suddenly　saw　clearly　the　finely　engraved　shapes　of　words　shadowed　on　the　glass。
　　…　So　Long；　…　they　said；　…　and　Thanks。。。
　　And　that　was　all。　He　blinked；　and　understood　nothing。
　　For　fully　five　more　minutes　he　turned　the　object　round　and　around；　held　it　to　the　light　at　different　angles；　tapped　it　for　its　mesmerizing　chime　and　pondered　on　the　meaning　of　the　shadowy　letters　but　could　find　none。　Finally　he　stood　up；　filled　the　bowl　with　water　from　the　tap　and　put　it　back　on　the　table　next　to　the　television。　He　shook　the　little　Babel　fish　from　his　ear　and　dropped　it；　wriggling；　into　the　bowl。　He　wouldn't　be　needing　it　any　more；　except　for　watching　foreign　movies。
　　He　returned　to　lie　on　his　bed；　and　turned　out　the　light。
　　He　lay　still　and　quiet。　He　absorbed　the　enveloping　darkness；　slowly　relaxed　his　limbs　from　end　to　end；　eased　and　regulated　his　breathing；　gradually　cleared　his　mind　of　all　thought；　closed　his　eyes　and　was　pletely　incapable　of　getting　to　sleep。
　　The　night　was　uneasy　with　rain。　The　rain　clouds　themselves　had　now　moved　on　and　were　currently　conc