jg.atimetokill-第90部分

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　〃Fine；　I　guess。　I　talked　to　Carla　every　night。〃
　〃She　scared？〃
　〃Terrified。〃
　〃What　have　they　done　to　you　lately？〃
　〃Nothing　since　Sunday　morning。〃
　〃Does　Carla　know？〃
　Jake　chewed　and　shook　his　head。
　〃I　didn't　think　so。　You　poor　thing。〃
　〃I'll　be　okay。　What's　the　talk　in　here？〃
　〃We　closed　at　lunch　yesterday。　There　were　so　many　blacks　outside；　and　we　were　afraid　of　a　riot。　We'll　watch　it　close　this　morning；　and　we　may　close　again。　Jake；　what　if　there's　a　conviction？〃
　〃It　could　get　hairy。〃
　He　stayed　for　an　hour　and　answered　their　questions。　Strangers　arrived；　and　Jake　excused　himself。
　There　was　nothing　to　do　but　wait。　He　sat　on　the　balcony；　drank　coffee；　smoked　a　cigar；　and　watched　the　guardsmen。　He　thought　of　the　clients　he　once　had；　of　a　quiet　little　Southern　law　office　with　a　secretary　and　clients　waiting　to　see　him。　Of　docket　calls　and　interviews　at　the　jail。　Of　normal　things；　like　a　family；　a　home；　and　church　on　Sunday　mornings。　He　was　not　meant　for　the　big　time。
　The　first　church　bus　arrived　at　seven…thirty　and　was　halted　by　the　soldiers。　The　doors　flew　open　and　an　endless　stream　of　blacks　with　lawn　chairs　and　food　baskets　headed　for　the　front　lawn。　For　an　hour　Jake　blew　smoke　into　the　heavy　air　and　watched　with　great　satisfaction　as　the　square　filled　beyond　capacity　with　noisy　yet　peaceful　protestors。　The　reverends　were　out　in　full　force；　directing　their　people　and　assuring　Ozzie　and　the　colonel　they　were　nonviolent　folk。　Ozzie　was　convinced。　The　colonel　was　nervous。　By　nine；　the　streets　were　crammed　with　demonstrators。　Someone　spotted　the　Greyhound。　〃Here　they　e！〃　Agee　screamed　into　the　loudspeaker。　The　mob*　pushed　to　the　corner　of　Jackson　and　Quincy；　where　the　soldiers；　troopers；　and　deputies　formed　a　mobile　barricade　around　the　bus　and　walked　it　through　the　crowd　to　the　rear　of　the　courthouse。
　Eula　Dell　Yates　cried　openly。　Clyde　Sisco　sat　next　to　the　window　and　held　her　hand。　The　others　stared　in　fear　as　the
　bus　inched　around　the　square。　A　heavily　armed　passageway　was　cleared　from　the　bus　to　the　courthouse；　and　Ozzie　came　aboard。　The　situation　was　under　control；　he　assured　them　over　the　roar。　Just　follow　him　and　walk　as　fast　as　possible。
　The　bailiff　locked　the　door　as　they　gathered　around　the　coffeepot。　Eula　Dell　sat　by　herself　in　the　corner　crying　softly　and　flinching　as　each　〃Free　Carl　Lee！'〃　boomed　from　below。
　〃I　don't　care　what　we　do；〃　she　said。　〃I　really　don't　care；　but　I　just　can't　take　any　more　of　this。　I　haven't　seen　my　family　in　eight　days；　and　now　this　madness。　I　didn't　sleep　any　last　night。〃　She　cried　louder。　〃I　think　I'm　close　to　a　nervous　breakdown。　Let's　just　get　outta　here。〃
　Clyde　handed　her　a　Kleenex　and　rubbed　her　shoulder。
　Jo　Ann　Gates　was　a　soft　guilty　who　was　ready　to　crack。　〃I　didn't　sleep　either　last　night。　I　can't　take　another　day　like　yesterday。　I　wanna　go　home　to　my　kids。〃
　Barry　Acker　stood　by　the　window　and　thought　of　the　riot　that　would　follow　a　guilty　verdict。　There　wouldn't　be　a　building　left　downtown；　including　the　courthouse。　He　doubted　if　anybody　would　protect　the　jurors　in　the　aftermath　of　a　wrong　verdict。　They　probably　wouldn't　make　it　back　to　the　bus。　Thankfully；　his　wife　and　kids　had　fled　to　safety　in　Arkansas。
　〃I　feel　like　a　hostage；〃　said　Bernice　Toole；　a　firm　guilty。　〃That　mob　would　storm　the　courthouse　in　a　split　second　if　we　convict　him。　I　feel　intimidated。〃
　Clyde　handed　her　a　box　of　Kleenexes。
　〃I　don't　care　what　we　do；〃　Eula　Dell　whined　in　desperation。　〃Let's　just　get　outta　here。　I　honestly　don't　care　if　we　convict　him　or　cut　him　loose；　let's　just　do　something。　My　nerves　can't　take　it。〃
　Wanda　Womack　stood　at　the　end　of　the　table　and　nervously　cleared　her　throat。　She　asked　for　attention。　〃I　have　a　proposal；〃　she　said　slowly；　〃that　just　might　settle　this　thing。〃
　The　crying　stopped；　and　Barry　Acker　returned　to　his　seat。　She　had　their　plete　attention。
　〃I　thought　of　something　last　night　when　I　couldn't　sleep；　and　I　want　you　to　consider　it。　It　may　be　painful。　It　may　cause　you　to　search　your　heart　and　take　a　long　look　at　your
　soul。　But　I'll　ask　you　to　do　it　anyway。　And　if　each　of　you　will　be　honest　with　yourself；　I　think　we　can　wrap　this　up　before　noon。〃
　The　only　sounds　came　from　the　street　below。
　〃Right　now　we　are　evenly　divided；　give　or　take　a　vote。　We　could　tell　Judge　Noose　that　we　are　hopelessly　deadlocked。　He　would　declare　a　mistrial；　and　we　would　go　home。　Then　in　a　few　months　this　entire　spectacle　would　be　repeated。　Mr。　Hailey　would　be　tried　again　in　this　same　courtroom；　with　the　same　judge；　but　with　a　different　jury；　a　jury　drawn　from　this　county；　a　jury　of　our　friends；　husbands；　wives；　and　parents。　The　same　kind　of　people　who　are　now　in　this　room。　That　jury　will　be　confronted　with　the　same　issues　before　us　now；　and　those　people　will　not　be　any　smarter　than　we　are。
　〃The　time　to　decide　this　case　is　now。　It　would　be　morally　wrong　to　shirk　our　responsibilities　and　pass　the　buck　to　the　next　jury。　Can　we　all　agree　on　that？〃
　They　silently　agreed。
　〃Good。　This　is　what　I　want　you　to　do。　I　want　you　to　pretend　with　me　for　a　moment。　I　want　you　to　use　your　imaginations。　I　want　you　to　close　your　eyes　and　listen　to　nothing　but　my　voice。〃
　They　obediently　closed　their　eyes。　Anything　was　worth　a　try。
　Jake　lay　on　the　couch　in　his　office　and　listened　to　Lucien　tell　stories　about　his　prestigious　father　and　grandfather；　and　their　prestigious　law　firm；　and　all　the　people　they　screwed　out　of　money　and　land。
　〃My　inheritance　was　built　by　my　promiscuous　ancestors！〃　he　yelled。　〃They　screwed　everybody　they　could！〃
　Harry　Rex　laughed　uncontrollably。　Jake　had　heard　the　stories　before；　but　they　were　always　funny；　and　different。
　〃What　about　Ethel's　retarded　son？〃　Jake　asked。
　〃Don't　talk　that　way　about　my　brother；〃　Lucien　protested。　〃He's　the　brightest　one　in　the　family。　Sure　he's　my　brother。　Dad　hired　her　when　she　was　seventeen；　and　believe　it　or　not；　she　looked　good　back　then。　Ethel　Twitry　was　the
　hottest　thing　in　Ford　County。　My　dad　couldn't　keep　his　hands　off　her。　　Sickening　to　think　about　now；　but　it's　true。〃
　〃It's　disgusting；〃　Jake　said。
　〃She　had　a　houseful　of　kids；　and　two　of　them　looked　just　like　me；　especially　the　dunce。　It　was　very　embarrassing　back　then。〃
　〃What　about　your　mother？〃　asked　Harry　Rex。
　〃She　was　one　of　those　dignified　old　Southern　ladies　whose　main　concern　was　who　had　blue　blood　and　who　didn't。　There's　not　much　blue　blood　around　here；　so　she　。　spent　most　of　her　time　in　Memphis　trying　to　impress　and　be　accepted　by　the　cotton　families。　I　spent　a　good　part　of　my　childhood　at　the　Peabody　Hotel　all　starched　out　with　a　little　red　bow　tie；　trying　to　act　polished　around　the　rich　kids　from　Memphis。　I　hated　it；　and　I　didn't　care　much　for　my　mother　either。　She　knew　about　Ethel；　but　she　accepted　it。　She　told　the　old　man　to　be　discreet　and　not　embarrass　the　family。　He　was　discreet；　and　I　wound　up　with　a　retarded　half…brother。〃
　〃When　did　she　die？〃
　〃Six　months　before　my　father　was　killed　in　the　plane　crash。〃
　〃How'd　she　die？〃　asked　Harry　Rex。
　〃Gonorrhea。　Caught　it　from　the　yard　boy。〃
　〃Lucien！　Seriously？〃
　〃Cancer。　Carried　it　for　three　years；　but　she　was　dignified　to　the　very　end。〃
　〃Where'd　you　go　wrong？〃　Jake　asked。
　〃I　think　it　started　in　the　first　grade。　My　uncle　owned　the　big　plantation　south　of　town；　and　he　owned　several　black　families。　This　was　in　the　Depression；　right？　I　spent　most　of　my　childhood　there　because　my　father　was　too　busy　right　here　in　this　office　and　my　mother　was　too　busy　with　her　hot…tea…drinkers　clubs。　All　of　my　playmates　were　black。　I'd　been　raised　by　black　servants。　My　best　friend　was　Willie　Ray　Wilbanks。　No　kidding。　My　great…grandfather　purchased　his　great…grandfather。　And　when　the　slaves　were　freed；　most　of　them　just　kept　the　family　name。　What　were　they　supposed　to　do？　That's　why　you've　got　so　many　black　Wilbankses　around　here。　We　owned　all　the　slaves　in　Ford　County；　and　most　of　them　became　Wilbankses。〃
　〃You're　probably　kin　to　some；〃　Jake　said。
　〃Given　the　proclivities　of　my　forefathers；　I'm　probably　kin　to　all　of　them。〃
　The　phone　rang。　They　froze　and　stared　at　it。　Jake　sat　up　and　held　his　breath。　Harry　Rex　picked　up　the　receiver；　then　hung　up。　〃Wrong　number；〃　he　said。
　They　studied　each　other；　then　smiled。
　〃Anyway；　back　to　the　first　grade；〃　Jake　said。
　〃Okay。　When　it　came　time　to　start　school；　Willie　Ray　and　the　rest　of　my　little　buddies　got　on　the　bus　headed　for　the　black　school。　I　jumped　on　the　bus　too；　and　the　driver　very　carefully　took　my　hand　and　made　me　get　off。　I　cried　and　screamed；　and　my　uncle　took　me　home　and　told　my　mother；　'Lucien　got　on　the　nigger　school　bus。'　She　was　horrified；　and　beat　my　little　ass。　The　old　man　beat　me　too；　but　years　later　admitted　it　was　funny。　So　I　went　to　the　white　school　where　I　was　always　the　little　rich　kid。　Everybody　hated　the　little　rich　kid；　especially　in　a　poor　town　like　Clanton。　Not　that　I　was　lovable　to　begin　with；　but　everyone　got　a　kick　out　of　hating　me　just　because　we　had　money。　That's　why　I've　never　thought　much　of　money。　That's　where　the　nonconformity　started。　In　the　first　grade。　I　decided　not　to　be　like　my　mother　because　she　frowned　all　the　time　and　looked　down　on　the　world。　And　my　old　man　was　always　too　busy　to　enjoy　himself。　I　said　piss　on　it。　I'm　gonna　have　some　fun。〃
　Jake　stretched　and　closed　his　eyes。
　〃Nervous？〃　Lucien　asked。
　〃I　just　want　it　to　be　over。〃
　The　phone　rang　again；　and　Lucien　grabbed　it。　He　listened；　then　hung　up。
　〃What　is　it？〃　Harry　Rex　demanded。
　Jake　sat　up　and　glared　at　Lucien。　The　moment　had　arrived。
　〃Jean　Gillespie。　The　jury　is　ready。〃
　〃Oh　my　God；〃　Jake　said　as　he　rubbed　his　temples。
　〃Listen　to　me；　Jake；〃　Lucien　lectured。　〃Millions　of　people　will　see　what　is　about　to　happen。　Keep　your　cool。　Be　careful　what　you　say。〃
　〃What　about　me？〃　Harry　Rex　moaned。　〃I　need　to　go　vomit。〃
　〃That's　strange　advice　ing　from　you；　Lucien；〃　Jake　said　as　he　buttoned　Stan's　coat。
　〃I've　learned　a　lot。　Show　your　class。　If　you　win；　watch　what　you　say　to　the　press。　Be　sure　and　thank　the　jury。　If　you　lose…〃
　〃If　you　lose；〃　Harry　Rex　said；　〃run　like　hell；　because　those　niggers　will　storm　the　courthouse。〃
　〃I　feel　weak；〃　Jake　admitted。
　Agee　took　the　platfor