ggk.thelionsofal-rassan-第97部分

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　　〃I　remember。〃
　　〃It　was　an　entertainment　they　proposed。　It　is　a　different　place　now；　the　world；〃　said　ibn　Khairan；　unwontedly　awkward。　〃I　。。。　deeply　regret　to　say　this。　More　than　I　can　tell　you。　Rodrigo；　I　could　wish　。。。　〃　He　thought　for　a　moment；　then　spread　his　hands　and　fell　silent。
　　〃You　have　a　choice；〃　Rodrigo　said。　〃You　are　making　a　choice　tonight。　You　have　had　an　offer　from　us。〃
　　Ammar　shook　his　head；　and　when　he　spoke；　for　the　first　time　there　was　something　desperate　in　his　voice；　too。　〃Not　really　a　choice；〃　he　said。　〃Not　in　this。　I　cannot　turn　my　back　on　this　land；　now　that　it　has　e　to　such　bitter　grief。　Don't　you　understand？　Rodrigo；　you　of　all　men　must　surely　understand。〃　They　heard　his　small；　known；　self…mocking　laugh。　〃I'm　the　man　who　killed　the　last　khalif　of　Al…Rassan。〃
　　And　hearing　those　words；　Rodrigo　Belmonte　bowed　his　neck；　as　if　to　accept　the　descent　of　a　sword。　Jehane　saw　Ammar　lift　a　hand；　as　if　he　would　touch　the　other　man；　but　then　he　let　his　hand　fall。
　　Beside　her；　she　realized　that　Alvar　de　Pellino　was　weeping。　She　would　remember　that　after；　and　love　him　for　it。
　　
　　Her　parents　were　asleep；　and　the　two　children　as　well；　in　tents　provided　by　the　queen。　Jehane　looked　in　on　them　briefly；　and　then　went；　as　promised；　to　relieve　Bernart　d'Inigo　beside　their　patient。　She　ought　to　have　been　sleeping；　during　this　time　but　it　was　not；　evidently；　to　be　a　night　for　sleep。　Not　for　her。
　　She　was　used　to　this。　Doctors　often　had　to　deal　with　nights　of　vigil　beside　those　who　depended　upon　them　to　fight　back　the　ing　of　final　darkness。　In　another　way；　though；　this　night　was　unlike　any　she　had　known。　It　marked　an　ending；　in　a　real　sense；　to　everything　she　had　ever　known。
　　Bernart　d'Inigo　smiled　tiredly　at　her　as　she　walked　up。　He　held　a　finger　to　his　lips。　Jehane　saw　that　Fernan　had　fallen　asleep　on　the　ground　beside　his　brother。　So；　too；　on　a　pillow；　covered　by　a　small　blanket；　had　his　mother。
　　〃Get　some　rest；〃　Jehane　whispered　to　the　Jaddite　doctor。　〃I'll　do　what's　left　of　the　night。〃　D'Inigo　nodded　and　rose。　He　stumbled　a　little　as　he　went。　They　were　all　bone…weary。
　　She　looked　down　at　Diego。　He　lay　on　his　back；　head　propped　on　folded　blankets。　The　doctor　in　her　began　to　assert　control　again。　She　knelt　and　took　his　wrist；　and　was　immediately　encouraged。　His　pulse　was　stronger　and　it　had　slowed。
　　She　looked　up　and　gestured。　A　soldier　not　far　away　came　nearer　with　a　torch。　〃Hold　it　close；〃　she　whispered。
　　She　lifted　the　boy's　closed　eyelids　and　watched　how　the　eyes　contracted　in　the　light：　equally；　and　both　were　centered。　Again；　good。　He　was　extremely　pale；　but　that　was　to　be　expected。　There　was　no　fever。　The　dressing　was　secure。
　　He　was　doing　wonderfully　well。　Despite　everything　else　that　had　happened；　Jehane　could　not　suppress　another　shiver　of　pride　and　disbelief。　This　boy；　by　all　rights；　by　everything　known；　ought　to　be　dead。
　　He　would　have　been；　if　Jehane　had　been　his　physician。　If　Bernart　d'Inigo　had；　if　any　doctor　she　could　name　had　been。　He　was　alive；　his　pulse　was　firm　and　his　breathing　steady；　because　Ishak　ben　Yonannon　was　still…after　five　years　in　darkness…the　most　courageous　and　the　most　gifted　surgeon　alive。　Who；　after　tonight；　would　deny　it？　Who　would　dare？
　　Jehane　shook　her　head。　False　pride。　Did　such　things　matter　so　much；　now？　They　didn't；　and　yet　they　did。　In　the　presence　of　war；　on　the　brink　of　so　many　deaths　to　e；　Ishak　had　reclaimed　a　life　that　was　lost。　No　physician…and　certainly　not　his　daughter…could　be　immune　to　the　sense　of　a　small；　precious　victory　won　back　from　the　dark。
　　She　nodded　and　the　soldier　withdrew　with　his　torch。　Jehane　settled　back　beside　the　unconscious　boy。　She　had　ordered　Ammar　to　snatch　some　rest　before　morning；　she　might　be　able　to　let　herself　doze；　after　all。
　　〃He　is　all　right？〃
　　It　was　the　mother。　Rodrigo's　wife。　Jehane；　looking　across　at　her　in　the　darkness；　thought　of　all　the　elaborately　bloodthirsty　stories　he　had　told　of　her。　And　now　here　was　a　small；　very　beautiful　woman　lying　on　the　cold　ground　beside　her　child；　speaking　with　fear　in　her　voice。
　　〃He　is　doing　well。　He　might　wake　in　the　morning。　He　needs　to　sleep　now。〃
　　Her　eyes　were　adjusting　to　the　dark　again。　She　could　make　out　the　other　woman　a　little　more　clearly；　on　the　far　side　of　Diego。
　　〃D'Inigo　told　me　。。。　that　no　one　has　ever　done　this　surgery。〃
　　〃That　is　true。〃
　　〃Your　father　。。。　he　was　blinded　for　saving　someone's　life？〃
　　〃Mother　and　infant。　In　childbirth。　He　touched　an　Asharite　woman　to　do　so。〃
　　Miranda　Belmonte　shook　her　head。　〃How　is　it　that　we　do　these　things　to　each　other？〃
　　〃I　have　no　answer　for　that；　my　lady。〃
　　There　was　a　silence。
　　〃Rodrigo　mentioned　you　many　times；〃　Miranda　said　softly。　〃In　his　letters。　He　had　nothing　but　praise　for　you。　His　Kindath　physician。〃　Jehane　thought　she　saw　the　ghost　of　a　smile。　〃I　was　jealous。〃
　　Jehane　shook　her　head。　〃No　one　loved　as　much　as　you　are　should　ever　be　jealous。〃
　　〃I　know　that；　actually；〃　said　Miranda　Belmonte。　〃It　is　the　great　gift　of　my　life。　If　Diego　lives；　because　of　your　father；　that　will　be　two　such　gifts。　It　is　too　much。　I　am　not　worthy。　It　makes　me　afraid。〃
　　There　was　a　longer　silence。　A　moment　later　Jehane　realized　that　the　other　woman　had　drifted　to　sleep　again。
　　She　sat　beside　the　sleeping　boy；　leaning　against　a　heavy　sack　of　dried　goods　someone　kind　had　placed　nearby。　She　thought　of　deaths　and　births；　sight　and　blindness；　moons　and　sun　and　stars。　Ashar　and　Jad　at　war；　rain　falling　on　the　Kindath　as　they　wandered　the　world。　She　thought　of　love　and　of　one　day　bearing　a　child　of　her　own。
　　She　heard　footsteps　approaching　and　knew　who　it　was。　She　had　been　certain；　in　fact；　somewhere　deep　within　herself；　that　this　last　conversation　lay　waiting　in　the　night。
　　〃How　is　he？〃　asked　Rodrigo　quietly；　crouching　beside　her。　He　was　looking　down　at　his　son。　His　face　was　in　darkness。
　　〃As　well　as　we　can　hope。　I　told　your　wife　he　may　wake　in　the　morning。〃
　　〃I'll　want　to　be　here。〃
　　〃Of　course。〃
　　Rodrigo　stood　up。　〃Walk　with　me？〃
　　She　had　known。　How　had　she　known？　How　did　the　heart　see　what　it　did？
　　〃Not　far　from　him；〃　she　murmured；　but　rose　and　they　walked　a　little　apart；　past　the　soldier　with　the　torch。　They　stopped　by　the　river；　near　a　small　hut　Jehane　remembered。　One　of　the　few　that　hadn't　burned　last　year。　Garcia　de　Rada's　cousin　had　killed　a　woman　here；　and　an　unborn　child。　Her　life　seemed　to　have　circled　back　to　this　place。　She　had　met　Rodrigo　that　night　and　Ammar　that　day。　Both　of　them。
　　It　was　very　quiet。　They　listened　to　the　river。　Rodrigo　said；　〃You　know　your　parents　are　safe　with　us。　This　is　。。。　the　best　possible　place　for　them　right　now。〃
　　〃I　believe　that。〃
　　〃Jehane。　It　is　。。。　probably　the　best　place　for　you；　as　well。〃
　　She　had　known　he　would　say　that。　She　shook　her　head。　〃Safest；　perhaps。　Not　best。〃　She　left　the　deeper　words　unsaid；　but　with　Rodrigo　they　didn't　have　to　be　spoken。
　　Another　silence。　The　moons　had　swung　west；　and　the　slow　stars。　The　river　murmured　below。
　　〃I've　asked　Husari　to　stay　with　me。　He　has　agreed。　I　told　the　king　a　small　lie　tonight。〃
　　〃I　guessed。　You　don't　really　think　Lain　and　Martin　will　be　unable　to　get　the　pany　out；　do　you？〃
　　'〃Not　really。　And　Husari；　in　his　way；　may　be　as　good　a　governor…in　Fezana；　or　elsewhere…as　Ammar　would　have　been。〃
　　〃Will　he　do　it？〃
　　〃I　believe　so。　He　will　not　serve　the　Muwardis。　And　he；　at　least；　trusts　me；　if　Ammar　does　not。〃
　　She　heard　the　bitterness。　〃It　isn't　a　question　of　trust。　You　know　that。〃
　　〃I　suppose。〃　He　looked　at　her。　〃I　wanted　to　be　sure　he　could　leave；　if　he　insisted；　so　I　made　up　that　story　about　my　pany　trapped　in　Ragosa。〃
　　〃I　know　that；　Rodrigo。〃
　　〃I　didn't　want　him　to　go。〃
　　〃I　know　that；　too。〃
　　〃I　don't　want　you　to　go；　Jehane。　There　is　no　place　in　Al…Rassan　for　you；　for　either　of　you；　when　the　Muwardis　e。〃
　　〃We'll　have　to　try　to　make　a　place；〃　she　said。
　　Stillness。　He　was　waiting；　she　realized；　and　so　she　did　say　it；　after　all。　〃I　will　not　leave　him；　Rodrigo。〃
　　She　heard　him　release　his　breath。
　　In　the　darkness　by　the　river's　steady；　murmurous　flow；　Jehane　said；　looking　down　at　the　water；　not　at　the　man　beside　her；　〃I　was　under　your　window　at　Carnival。　I　stood　there　a　long　time；　looking　at　your　light。〃　She　swallowed。　〃I　almost　came　up　to　you。〃
　　She　sensed　him　turning　towards　her。　She　kept　her　gaze　fixed　upon　the　river。
　　〃Why　didn't　you？〃　His　voice　had　altered。
　　〃Because　of　what　you　told　me　that　afternoon。〃
　　〃I　was　buying　paper；　I　remember。　What　did　I　tell　you；　Jehane？〃
　　She　did　look　at　him　then。　It　was　dark；　but　she　knew　those　features　by　heart　now。　They　had　ridden　from　this　hamlet　the　summer　before　on　the　one　horse。　So　little　time　ago；　really。
　　〃You　told　me　how　much　you　loved　your　wife。〃
　　〃I　see；〃　he　said。
　　Jehane　looked　away。　She　needed　to　look　away。　They　had　e　to　a　place　too　hard　for　held　glances。　She　said　softly；　to　the　river；　to　the　dark；　〃Is　it　wrong；　or　impossible；　for　a　woman　to　love　two　men？〃
　　After　what　seemed　to　her　a　very　long　time；　Rodrigo　Belmonte　said；　〃No　more　so　than　for　a　man。〃
　　Jehane　closed　her　eyes。
　　〃Thank　you；〃　she　said。　And　then；　after　another　moment；　holding　as　tightly　as　she　could　to　the　thing　suspended　there；　〃Goodbye。〃
　　With　her　words　the　moment　passed；　the　world　moved　on　again：　time；　the　flowing　river；　the　moons。　And　the　delicate　thing　that　had　been　in　the　air　between　them…whatever　it　might　have　been　named…fell；　as　it　seemed　to　Jehane；　softly　to　rest　in　the　grass　by　the　water。
　　〃Goodbye；〃　he　said。　〃Be　always　blessed；　on　all　the　paths　of　your　life。　My　dear。〃　And　then　he　said　her　name。
　　They　did　not　touch。　They　walked　back　beside　each　other　to　the　place　where　Diego　and　Fernan　and　Miranda　Belmonte　lay　asleep　and；　after　standing　a　long　moment　gazing　down　upon　his　family；　Rodrigo　Belmonte　went　towards　the　king's　tent　where　the　strategies　of　war　were　being　devised。
　　She　watched　him　go。　She　saw　him　lift　the　tent　flap；　to　be　lit　briefly　by　the　lanterns　from　inside；　then　disappear　within　as　the　tent　closed　after　him。
　　Goodbye。　Goodbye。　Goodbye。
　　
　　Jehane　saw　Diego's　eye