lh.narcissusinchains-第29部分

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kill　you。〃　I　wanted　so　badly　to　just　give　Richard　blanket　protection；　but　I　couldn't。　It　would　weaken　his　position；　and　his　position　was　weak　enough　already。
　〃But　if　it's　fair；　you'll　stay　out　of　it？〃
　I　leaned　against　the　wall　and　tried　to　think。　〃I'll　be　honest；　Jacob；　I　love　Richard。　I　don't　always　understand　him；　or　even　agree　with　him；　but　I　love　him。　I'm　ready　to　kill　you　over　someone　who　has　never　been　my　lover　or　even　a　good　friend。　So；　yeah；　you　kill　Richard；　and　I'm　really；　really　going　to　want　to　kill　you。〃
　〃But　you　won't；〃　he　said。
　I　didn't　like　how　persistent　he　was　about　the　issue。　It　made　me　nervous。　〃I'll　make　you　a　deal；　you　don't　challenge　Richard　for　Ulfric　until　after　the　next　full　moon；　then　whatever　happens；　as　long　as　it's　fair；　I'll　stay　out　of　it。〃
　〃What　if　it's　sooner？〃　he　asked。
　〃Then　I　am　going　to　rain　all　over　your　parade。〃
　〃You're　undercutting　Richard's　authority；〃　he　said。
　〃No；　Jacob；　no　I'm　not。　I　wouldn't　be　killing　you　because　I　was　lupa　or　any　werewolf　stuff。　I'd　be　killing　you　because　I　am　just　that　vindictive。　Give　me　a　few　weeks　until　after　the　full　moon；　and　you're　in　the　clear　on　this　one；　if　you've　got　the　cojones　to　finish　the　job。〃
　〃You　think　Richard　will　kill　me；　instead？〃
　〃He　killed　the　last　Ulfric；　Jacob。　That's　how　he　got　the　job。〃
　〃If　I　don't　agree　to　this；　you'll　just　shoot　me？〃
　〃From　a　nice；　safe　distance；　oh；　yeah。〃
　〃I　can　promise　that　I　won't　challenge　Richard　until　after　the　full　moon；　but　I　can't　promise　that　the　vote　won't　go　against　Gregory。　He　was　one　that　Raina；　the　old　lupa；　used　to　help　punish　some　members　of　the　pack。　There's　more　than　one　woman　here　that　he　helped　rape。〃
　〃I　know。〃
　〃Then　how　can　you　defend　him？〃
　〃He　did　what　his　old　alpha　told　him　to　do；　and　what　Raina；　the　wicked　bitch　of　the　west；　told　him　to　do。　Gregory　isn't　a　dominant；　he's　lesser；　and　he　does　what　he's　told；　like　a　good　submissive　shapeshifter。　Ever　since　I　took　over　as　his　alpha；　he's　refused　to　rape　and　torture。　As　soon　as　he　had　a　choice；　he　stopped　doing　it。　Ask　Sylvie。　Gregory　let　himself　be　tortured　instead　of　helping　to　rape　her。〃
　〃She　told　the　story　to　the　pack。〃
　〃You　don't　sound　impressed。〃
　〃It's　not　me　you　have　to　impress；　Anita；　it's　the　others。〃
　〃Help　me　figure　out　a　way　to　impress　them；　Jacob。〃
　〃Are　you　serious？　You　want　me　to　help　you　save　the　leopard？〃
　〃Yeah。〃
　〃That's　ridiculous。　I'm　Geri　of　Thronnos　Rokke　clan。　I　don't　have　to　help　a　wereleopard　that　even　you　admit　isn't　a　dominant。〃
　〃Don't　go　all　class　conscious　on　me；　Jacob。　Remember　the　early　part　of　our　conversation；　the　part　about　you　dying？　I　blame　you　for　the　mess。　And　you　will　help　me　clean　it　up；　or　I　will　splatter　your　brains　all　over　the　walls。〃
　〃You　can't　bring　guns　into　the　lupanar。〃
　I　laughed；　and　even　to　me　it　was　an　unsettling　sound；　creepy　even。　〃You　going　to　spend　the　rest　of　your　life　inside　the　lupanar？〃
　〃Jesus；〃　he　said；　voice　soft；　〃you're　talking　about　assassinating　me。〃
　I　laughed　again。　A　small　voice　in　my　head　was　screaming　at　me；　telling　me　I　was　being　a　very　good　sociopath。　But　Rebecca　of　Sunnybrook　Farm　wasn't　going　to　cut　it　with　Jacob。　Maybe　later　I　could　afford　to　be　soft。　〃I　think　we　finally　understand　each　other；　Jacob。　Here's　my　cell　phone　number。　You　call　me　before　tomorrow　night　with　a　plan。〃
　〃What　if　I　can't　e　up　with　one？〃
　〃Not　my　problem。〃
　〃You'll　kill　me　even　if　I　try　and　save　him　　really　try　and　save　your　leopard；　but　fail。　You'll　still　kill　me。〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃You　cold　bitch。〃
　〃Sticks　and　stones　will　break　your　bones；　but　failure　will　get　you　killed。　Call　me　Jacob；　make　it　soon。〃　I　hung　up　the　phone。
　
　11
　
　〃I　SEE　WHAT　you　mean　about　you　being　practical；〃　Micah　said。　He　was　standing　quietly　watching　me；　face　carefully　neutral；　but　he　couldn't　quite　keep　everything　off　his　face。　He　was　pleased。　Pleased　with　me；　I　think。
　〃You　not　going　to　run　screaming　because　I'm　a　bloodthirsty　sociopath？〃
　He　smiled；　and　again　his　long　lashes　came　down　over　his　eyes。　〃I　don't　think　you're　a　sociopath；　Anita。　I　think　you　do　what　needs　doing　to　protect　your　pard。〃　He　raised　that　yellow…green　gaze　to　me。　〃I　find　that　admirable；　not　something　to　criticize。〃
　I　sighed。　〃Good　that　someone　approves。〃
　He　smiled；　and　it　was　that　mixture　of　condescension；　happiness；　and　sorrow；　that　I'd　seen　before。　A　plex　smile；　that。　〃The　Ulfric　means　well。〃
　〃You　know　what　they　say　about　good　intentions；　Micah。　If　he's　determined　to　take　himself　to　hell；　fine。　But　he　has　no　right　to　drag　the　rest　of　us　along　with　him。〃
　〃I　agree。〃
　It　made　me　tired　that　Micah　agreed　with　me。　I　wasn't　in　love　with　him。　Why　couldn't　it　be　Richard　who　agreed　with　me？　Of　course；　there　was　someone　else。　I　needed　to　get　to　Jean…Claude　while　it　was　still　dark。
　〃I　had　to　put　off　the　shower；　first　to　be　a　gentleman；　and　let　you　go　first；　then　so　the　noise　wouldn't　interrupt　your　phone　call。　I　need　to　get　clean　now；　if　you　don't　mind。〃
　〃I'll　give　you　some　privacy。〃　I　turned　towards　the　door。
　〃It　wasn't　privacy　I　was　asking　for；　just　explaining　why　I　was　turning　the　water　on　during　our　conversation。〃　he　said。
　That　turned　me　around　at　the　door。　〃What　conversation？〃
　He　turned　on　the　shower；　testing　the　water　with　his　hand；　adjusting　the　heat；　talking　over　his　shoulder。　〃I've　never　felt　another　Nimir…Ra　with　the　kind　of　power　you　put　off。　It　was　amazing。〃
　〃Glad　you　enjoyed　it；　but　I've　really　got　to　go。〃
　He　turned　to　face　me；　stepping　back　into　the　water；　throwing　his　head　back　for　a　second　to　wet　his　hair。　The　water　hit　his　neck　and　he　let　out　a　hissing　breath；　bending　over　at　the　shoulders　like　it　really　hurt。
　I　went　back　into　the　room。　〃Are　you　alright？〃
　He　nodded　and　stopped　in　mid…motion。　〃I　will　be。〃
　I　was　close　enough　that　when　he　raised　his　head　I　could　see　the　water　beaded　on　his　face；　clinging　in　thick　drops　to　his　lashes。　I　stood　to　one　side；　getting　sprayed　with　just　the　faintest　mist　of　the　water。　I　got　my　first　good　look　at　the　side　of　his　neck。　〃Shit。〃　I　reached　through　the　water　to　touch　his　face；　turned　him　slowly　so　I　could　see　the　bite。
　He　had　a　perfect　imprint　of　my　teeth　in　the　right　side　of　his　neck。　The　wound　was　still　seeping　blood；　so　the　circle　of　toothmarks　was　filled　with　crimson。　The　tanned　flesh　of　his　neck　was　already　bruising；　dark　colors　swirling　to　the　surface　of　his　skin。
　〃God；　Micah；　I'm　sorry。〃
　〃Don't　be　sorry；　it　is　a　love　bite。〃
　I　dropped　my　hand　from　his　face。　〃Yeah；　right；　it　looks　like　I　tried　to　eat　your　throat　out。〃　I　frowned。　〃Why　hasn't　it　started　healing？〃
　〃Wounds　made　by　the　teeth　and　claws　of　another　lycanthrope　heal　slower　than　most；　not　as　slow　as　silver；　but　slower　than　say；　steel。〃
　〃I　am　sorry。〃
　〃And　I　said；　don't　be　sorry。〃
　〃The　last　Ulfric　I　bit　like　this　　and　it　wasn't　nearly　this　bad；　I　didn't　even　break　the　skin　　he　considered　it　an　insult。　He　said；　it　meant　I　considered　myself　higher　in　the　pack　than　he　was。〃
　〃We　are　not　wolves。　To　the　pard　a　wound　on　the　neck　from　a　Nimir…Ra　is　a　sign　that　the　sex　was　good。〃
　That　made　me　blush。
　〃I　didn't　mean　to　embarrass　you；　just　to　explain　that　you　don't　owe　me　an　apology。　I　enjoyed　it。〃
　I　blushed　harder。
　〃Together　we　could　do　great　things　for　our　pard。〃
　I　shook　my　head。　〃We　won't　know　for　sure　that　I'm　going　to　be　Nimir…Ra　for　a　few　days。　Let's　take　it　slow　until　then。〃
　〃If　you　want　to。〃　His　gaze　was　too　direct；　and　I　was　suddenly　aware　that　he　was　nude　in　a　shower。　I　was　getting　better　at　ignoring；　or　at　least　not　being　bothered；　around　nudity。　But　there　were　moments　when　you　had　to　be　aware　of　it；　when　the　look　in　the　other　person's　eyes　made　you　aware　of　it。
　〃I　want　to；〃　I　said。
　He　turned　his　back；　lowering　his　head　so　the　water　beat　on　his　shoulders；　back；　lower　things。　The　spray　widened　as　he　moved　through　it；　spattering　on　my　face；　shoulders；　arms；　legs；　across　the　towel。　It　was　time　for　me　to　leave；　past　time。
　I　was　at　the　door　again　when　he　called　after　me。　〃Anita。〃
　I　turned　back。
　He　was　standing　facing　me；　rubbing　liquid　soap　from　one　of　the　wall　dispensers　on　his　body。　He　was　doing　his　arms　as　I　turned　around；　lathering　his　chest　as　he　talked。　〃If　you　want　us　to　go　with　you　tomorrow；　we　would　be　honored。〃
　〃I　can't　let　you　drag　your　pard　into　our　mess。〃
　His　hands　slid　downward；　trailing　white　suds　over　his　stomach；　his　hips；　then　slid　between　his　legs；　working　the　soap　over　himself。　I　knew　from　my　own　experience　of　getting　the　stuff　off　me　that　you　had　to　scrub　more　where　it　had　touched　you；　but　his　hands　stayed；　until　he　was　slick；　thick　with　bubbles；　and　partially　erect　by　the　time　his　hands　slid　to　his　thighs。
　My　mouth　was　dry；　and　I　realized　we　hadn't　said　anything　in　several　minutes。　I'd　just　been　watching　him　spread　soap　on　himself。　The　thought　brought　heat　in　a　rush　up　my　face。　Micah　continued　to　soap　his　legs　slowly；　taking　more　time　with　each　movement　than　he　needed　to。　He　was　definitely　doing　it　for　my　benefit。　I　needed　to　leave。
　〃If　you　are　my　Nimir…Ra；　then　your　mess　is　my　mess；〃　he　said；　head　still　bent　over　his　legs；　face　hidden　from　me；　so　that　all　I　could　see　was　the　line　of　his　body　as　he　stood　in　the　aisle；　away　from　the　water　so　the　soap　wouldn't　rub　off。
　I　had　to　clear　my　throat　to　say；　〃I　don't　want　to　pick　out　curtains；　Micah。〃
　〃The　power　between　us　is　enough　that　I'll　agree　to　any　arrangement　you　want。〃　He　stood　up　then；　stretching　his　arm　back　to　soap　his　shoulders。　It　made　him　stretch　the　front　of　his　body　in　a　long　line；　and　I　was　painfully　aware　of　him。　I　turned；　really　meaning　to　go　out　the　door　this　time。
　〃Anita；〃　he　said。
　I　stopped　in　the　doorway；　but　this　time　I　didn't　turn　around。　〃What？〃　I　sounded　grumpy。
　〃It's　alright　to　be　attracted　to　me。　You　can't　help　yourself。〃
　That　made　me　laugh；　a　good　normal　laugh。　〃Oh；　you　don't　have　a　high　opinion　of　yourself；　do　you？〃　But　I　stayed　facing　away　from　him。
　〃It's　not　a　high　opinion　of　myself。　You　are　a　Nimir…Ra；　and　I　am　the　first　Nimir…Raj　that　you've　ever　met。　Our　power；　our　beasts　are　attracted　to　each　other。　We're　meant　to　be　attracted　to　each　other。〃
　I　turned　then；　slowly；　trying　for　eye　contact　and　failing。　He　was　turned　away　with　the　back　of　his　bo