lh.narcissusinchains-第30部分

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　I　turned　then；　slowly；　trying　for　eye　contact　and　failing。　He　was　turned　away　with　the　back　of　his　body　facing　me。　He　was　still　spreading　soap　over　his　shoulders。　The　suds　slid　slowly　down　his　skin　towards　his　slim　waist。
　〃We　don't　know　yet　that　I'm　a　were…anything。〃　My　voice　was　breathy。
　He　managed　to　reach　his　entire　back；　his　arms　moving　effortlessly　over　his　skin；　hands　smoothing　over　the　tightness　of　his　buttocks。　〃You　feel　the　call　of　my　body；　as　I　feel　yours。〃
　My　pulse　was　beating　way　too　hard。　〃You're　an　attractive　man；　naked；　covered　in　soap。　I'm　human；　so　sue　me。〃
　He　turned　around；　still　soaped　and　slick。　And　he　was　huge。
　My　mouth　went　dry。　My　body　tightened　so　hard　and　so　suddenly；　it　almost　hurt。　It　deepened　my　breathing；　made　me　have　to　swallow　my　pulse。
　〃You're　not　human；　that's　the　difference。　That's　why　you　keep　looking　even　when　you　don't　want　to。〃　He　walked　towards　me；　slowly；　moving　like　all　leopards　could　move　when　they　wanted　to。　Like　he　had　muscles　in　places　that　humans　didn't。　He　glided　towards　me　like　some　great；　slinking　cat；　his　nude　body　glistening　with　suds　and　water；　his　hair　plastered　in　ringlets　to　his　shoulders；　around　his　face。　Those　huge　yellow　green　eyes　suddenly　looked　perfectly　at　home　in　his　face。
　〃You　don't　understand　yet　how　rare　it　is　for　two　lycanthropes　to　share　their　beasts　as　we　did。〃　He　was　almost　in　front　of　me　now。　〃They　flowed　in　and　out　of　our　bodies。〃　He　stood　there；　not　touching；　not　yet。　〃They　were　like　two　great　cats；　rubbing　their　furred　sides　against　each　other。〃　He　ran　his　hands　slick　with　soap　up　my　bare　arms　as　he　said　it。　I　had　to　close　my　eyes。　He　was　describing　exactly　how　it　had　felt；　as　if　he　had　read　my　mind；　or　had　felt　exactly　the　same　thing。
　His　hands　slid　up　my　arms　to　my　shoulders；　to　my　neck；　spreading　slick　and　wet　across　my　skin。　His　soapy　hands　cupped　my　face；　and　I　felt　his　face　moving　towards　mine　before　his　lips　touched　me。　The　kiss　was　gentle；　his　body　carefully　not　touching　me。
　He　slid　his　fingers　into　the　edge　of　the　towel；　gripping　the　cloth；　pulling　me　forward。　It　made　me　open　my　eyes。　It　took　a　few　steps　to　realize　he　was　leading　me　towards　the　water。
　〃You'll　need　to　wash　the　soap　off；〃　he　said。
　I　was　shaking　my　head；　and　finally　stopped　moving　with　him。　He　kept　pulling　on　the　towel　and　it　unwrapped；　starting　to　slide　down　my　body。　I　grabbed　it；　holding　it　just　below　my　suddenly　bare　breasts。
　〃No；〃　I　said；　my　voice　strangled；　but　I　repeated　it。　〃No。〃
　He　stepped　into　me；　pressing　the　slick　hardness　of　him　against　my　lower　hand　and　arm。　He　tried　to　uncurl　my　fingers　from　the　towel；　and　I　held　on　for　dear　life。　〃Touch　me；　Anita；　cup　me　in　your　hands。〃
　〃No。〃
　〃I　know　you　want　to。　I　can　smell　it；〃　and　he　moved　his　face　above　my　skin；　drawing　his　breath　in　and　out　against　my　wet　skin。　〃I　can　feel　it。〃　He　rubbed　his　hands　up　my　arms　again；　over　my　shoulders；　down　towards　my　breasts；　but　stopped　without　touching　them。　〃I　can　taste　it。〃　He　licked　a　slow　line　along　the　edge　of　my　cheek。　I　shivered　and　wanted　to　step　back；　but　it　was　like　I　was　frozen　in　place。　I　couldn't　move。
　I　found　my　voice；　shaky；　but　mine。　My　hands　clutched　to　my　body；　because　I　knew　if　I　touched　him　we　were　in　trouble。　〃This　isn't　like　me；　Micah。　I'm　not　like　this。　You're　a　stranger。　I　don't　do　strangers。〃
　〃I'm　not　a　stranger。　I'm　your　Nimir…Raj；　and　you　are　my　Nimir…Ra。　We　could　never　be　strangers。〃
　He　kissed　his　way　down　my　face　to　my　neck；　biting　gently　at　me；　and　it　made　my　knees　weak。　He　came　back　up　to　my　lips；　and　when　he　kissed　me　I　could　taste　the　soap　from　my　skin。　The　feel　of　him　pressed　against　the　front　of　my　body；　close　enough　that　if　I　opened　my　hand　I'd　be　able　to　hold　him；　was　overwhelming。　I　realized　it　was　more　than　just　sex。　I　wanted　to　feed　off　of　him　again；　not　with　my　teeth　but　with　my　body。　I　wanted　to　drink　in　the　energy　of　him　through　my　skin；　my　bare　skin　pressed　to　his。　I　wanted　it　so　badly。　His　hands　slid　over　my　breasts；　covering　them　in　soap；　making　them　slick；　the　nipples　already　tight　and　hard。　My　arms　slid　around　his　waist；　using　the　pressure　of　our　bodies　to　keep　the　towel　in　place。　He　moved　against　my　body；　and　his　chest　was　so　slick；　so　smooth　rubbing　against　my　breasts。
　He　began　to　walk　backwards　with　his　arms　locked　behind　me；　moving　us　back　towards　the　water。　My　hands　moved　over　the　slick　hardness　of　his　back；　sliding　dangerously　lower。　It　was　as　if　I　wanted　to　press　every　inch　of　myself　to　him；　to　roll　his　body　around　me　like　a　sheet　and　drink　him　in　through　the　pores　of　my　skin。
　I　opened　that　link　with　Jean…Claude　and　found　him　sitting；　waiting；　patient。　I　called　for　help；　and　distantly　I　heard　his　voice　in　my　head。　〃It　is　all　I　can　do；　ma　petite；　to　control　my　own　appetites；　you　must　control　your　own。〃
　〃What's　happening　to　me？〃　Even　as　I　asked；　Micah　moved　his　body　that　fraction　away　that　allowed　the　towel　to　slide　down；　and　when　he　quickly　moved　back；　he　was　pressed　against　my　groin　and　stomach；　and　it　was　déjà　vu　enough　to　draw　a　small　sound　out　of　my　throat。
　Jean…Claude　looked　up；　and　I　knew　that　he　saw　what　was　happening　with　Micah；　that　with　a　thought　he　could　feel　what　was　happening；　as　if　it　were　his　hands　sliding　down　the　slick；　soaped　skin。　My　hand　slid　over　the　thick　hardness　of　Micah。　He　half…collapsed　against　me；　as　I　caressed　him；　and　I　knew　that　it　hadn't　been　my　idea　to　touch　him。　Jean…Claude　had　wanted　to　know　what　it　felt　like。　He　drew　away　enough　for　me　to　move　my　hand；　but　the　damage　had　been　done。　Micah　dragged　me　into　the　water；　surer　now　than　ever　that　I　would　say　yes。
　Jean…Claude's　voice　in　my　head。　〃You　can　feed　off　his　lust；　but　the　price　for　that　is　that　you　will　crave　his　lust；　his　sex。　It　is　the　double…edged　sword　of　being　incubus。　The　sword　edge　I　have　walked　for　centuries。〃
　〃Help　me！〃
　〃I　cannot。　You　must　ride　this　thing　yourself。　And　you　will　either　conquer　it；　or　be　conquered。　You　felt　what　happened　when　I　interfered　just　now。　Because　I　have　denied　myself　feeding　through　my　body。　I　knew　you　would　not　approve；　so　I　denied　myself。　And　being　inside　your　body　while　you　touch　him；　while　you　feed；　would　be　my　undoing。　I　crave　you　more　than　you　will　ever　crave　the　man　in　your　arms。　I　have　wanted　to　take　your　body　in　the　way　that　only　I　could　take　it。　To　feed　from　your　sex；　not　from　a　vein。　But　I　knew　that　would　frighten　you　more　than　blood。〃
　Micah　turned　me　towards　the　wall；　putting　my　hands　up　against　the　tile；　pressing　his　body　against　my　back。　Jean…Claude's　voice　was　soft　in　my　head；　more　intimate　than　Micah's　touch。　〃I　did　not　know　you　would　gain　this　demon　from　me；　ma　petite；　and　nothing　I　can　say　will　convince　you　of　that。　I　know　that。　I　await　you　here；　until　you　have　wrestled　the　demon；　whatever　the　oute。〃　And　he　shielded　from　me；　hid　himself　away　so　he　would　not　feel　what　was　happening；　left　me　alone　to　make　my　choice；　if　I　was　still　capable　of　choosing。
　I　found　I　did　have　a　voice　and　said；　〃Micah；　stop；　please　stop。〃
　Micah　licked　the　back　of　my　neck；　and　I　shuddered；　pressed　against　the　wet　wall。
　〃Please；　Micah；　I'm　not　on　birth　control。〃　A　clear　thought　at　last。
　He　bit　softly　at　the　back　of　my　neck。　〃I　had　myself　fixed　two　years　ago。　You're　safe　with　me；　Anita。〃
　〃Please；　Micah；　please　don't。〃
　He　bit　harder；　just　this　side　of　drawing　blood；　and　my　body　went　passive；　calm。　It　was　as　if　he'd　hit　a　switch　I　didn't　know　I　had。　When　he　pressed　himself　inside　me；　he　was　slick；　and　I　knew　that　sometime　when　I'd　been　paying　attention　to　Jean…Claude　inside　my　head；　he'd　spread　more　soap　on　himself；　allowing　that　thick　hardness　to　slide　more　easily　inside　me。
　He　pinned　me　to　the　wall　and　slid　inside　me；　one　tight　inch　at　a　time。　It　wasn't　that　he　was　long　so　much　as　he　was　wide　　wide　enough　that　it　was　just　this　side　of　pain　to　have　him　work　himself　inside　me；　even　with　the　soap。
　He　pushed　until　most　of　him　was　inside　me；　and　there　was　a　stopping　point。　Then　he　began　to　draw　himself　out；　slowly；　so　slowly。　Then　in　again；　slowly；　still　having　to　push　himself；　to　work　to　make　room　for　himself　inside　me。　I　stood　pinned　against　the　wall；　passive；　unmoving。　It　wasn't　like　me。　I　moved　during　sex。　But　I　didn't　want　to　move；　didn't　want　to　stop；　and　there　was　no　thinking；　just　the　feel　of　him　moving　in　and　out　of　me。　I　wasn't　as　tight　now；　and　the　soap　had　given　way　to　my　own　wetness；　so　that　he　began　to　move　more　smoothly　in　and　out　of　me。　He　was　gentle；　but　he　was　so　big　that　even　gentle　was　almost　overwhelming。　He　came　to　the　end　of　my　body　before　the　full　shaft　of　him　was　inside　me。　I　could　feel　him　bumping　against　my　cervix　at　the　end　of　each　stroke。　Most　women　find　having　their　cervix　bumped　painful；　but　some　women　find　it　pleasurable。　His　size　was　intimidating；　but　when　I　realized　it　didn't　hurt；　in　fact　that　it　felt　wonderful；　a　part　of　me　that　was　still　sane；　still　keeping　track　of　some　safety　measures；　relaxed　and　shut　down。　My　last　measure　of　control　went　away。　I　didn't　want　sex。　That　was　just　a　means　to　an　end。　I　wanted　to　feed。　I　wanted　to　eat　his　lust；　drink　his　heat；　bathe　in　his　energy。　The　thought　brought　a　sound　low　in　my　throat。
　Micah　braced　himself　against　the　wall；　his　body　pinning　mine　pletely；　and　began　to　find　a　rhythm；　still　gentle；　but　quicker。　He　was　being　so　careful　of　me；　and　I　didn't　want　him　careful。
　I　heard　a　voice　that　didn't　quite　sound　like　mine。　〃Harder。〃
　His　voice　came　out　squeezed　tight。　〃It　will　hurt　if　I　do　it　harder。〃
　〃Try　me。〃
　〃No。〃
　〃Micah；　please；　just　do　it；　please。　If　it　hurts　I'll　tell　you。　Please。〃　He'd　been　less　controlled　in　the　other　room；　and　I　realized　why。　He　truly　was　afraid　of　hurting　me　because　he　was　inside　me。　When　he　was　just　rubbing　himself　on　my　body；　he　hadn't　had　to　worry　about　damaging　me。　Now　he　did。　It　gave　him　an　edge　of　control　that　kept　me　from　feeding。　He　was　a　Nimir…Raj；　and　he　had　enough　power　to　keep　me　out。　Unless　he　let　down　his　guard。　To　do　that　he　had　to　lose　more　control　than　this。
　Even　as　I　thought　it；　a　part　of　me　was　swimming　to　the　surface。　I　could　think　again；　at　least　a　little。　I　didn't　want　to　do　this。　I　didn't　want　to　feed　off　of　him。　It　was　wrong；　in　so　many　ways　it　was　wrong。　I　started　to　say；　〃Micah；　stop；　I　can't　do　this。〃　I　got