lh.narcissusinchains-第45部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　It　made　sense。　It　was　hard　to　argue　with　the　logic　of　it；　but　I　wanted　to。　〃What　could　be　the　other　reasons？〃
　〃Belle　Morte　treated　you　as　a　vampire　of　her　line。　If　through　the　marks　or　your　necromancy　you　have　some　of　the　powers　of　a　vampire；　you　may　have　others。　It　could　be　that　leopards　will　be　your　animal　to　call。　I　admit　that　the　first　is　the　more　likely　reason；　but　the　second　is　also　possible。〃
　I　leaned　back　enough　to　see　his　face。　〃Are　you　attracted　to　the　wolves？〃　I　asked。
　〃I　find　it　pleasant　to　have　the　wolves　around　me。　It　is　forting　to　touch　them　like　a　。。。　pet；　or　lover。〃
　I　wasn't　sure　how　I　felt　about　him　using　pet　and　lover　in　the　same　sentence；　but　I　let　it　go。　〃So　you　want　to　have　sex　with　the　werewolves？〃
　〃Do　you　want　to　have　sex　with　Nathaniel？〃
　〃No　。。。　not　exactly。〃
　〃But　you　want　to　touch　him　and　be　touched？〃
　I　had　to　think　about　that　for　a　few　seconds。　〃I　guess　so。〃
　〃In　a　true　joining　of　animal　and　vampire；　there　is　a　desire　in　both　to　touch；　for　one　to　serve　and　the　other　to　take　care　of　them。〃
　〃Padma；　the　Master　of　Beasts；　treated　his　animals　like　shit。〃
　〃One　of　the　many　reasons　that　Padma　will　always　be　a　secondary　power　on　the　Council　is　his　belief　that　all　power　must　be　taken；　that　all　power　must　e　through　fear。　True　power　es　when　others　offer　it　to　you　and　you　merely　accept　it　as　a　gift；　not　as　the　spoils　of　some　personal　war。〃
　〃So　the　fact　that　you　treat　your　wolves　better　than　most　is　just；　what；　a　political　decision？〃
　He　shrugged；　still　holding　me　against　him。　〃I　do　not　know　how　other　vampires　feel。　I　know　only　that　Belle　Morte　felt　attracted　to　her　cats　and　I　feel　the　same　for　my　wolves。　Perhaps　it　is　only　her　line　that　turns　the　bond　between　animal　and　vampire　into　something　like　lovers？　Much　of　her　power　fed　into　sex；　or　at　least；　attraction；　and　perhaps　that　is　not　how　others　feel？〃　He　frowned。　〃I　had　not　truly　thought　about　that　before。　Perhaps　it　is　another　benefit　of　her　lineage　　or　a　shortfall　of　it　　that　most　of　my　powers　turn　to　something　resembling　sex。〃
　〃Does　Asher　feel　the　same　way　about　his　animal　to　call？〃
　〃He　has　no　animal　to　call。〃
　I　widened　my　eyes。　〃I　thought　all　master　vamps　over　a　certain　age　had　an　animal　to　call。〃
　〃Most　of　the　time　they　do；　but　not　always。　Just　as　his　bite　can　give　true　sexual　release　and　mine　cannot。　We　have　different　powers。〃
　〃But　not　having　an　animal　to　call　is　like　a　major　。。。　〃
　〃It　means　he　is　weaker　than　I　am。〃
　〃But　he　could　still　be　Master　of　the　City　somewhere　else。　I　mean　I've　met　Masters　of　the　City　that　had　no　animal　to　call　before。〃
　〃If　there　was　a　territory　vacant　in　this　country；　and　he　would　be　willing　to　leave　us；　then　yes；　he　might　rise　to　Master　of　the　City。〃
　I　started　to　ask；　Then　why　doesn't　he　go？　But　I　was　pretty　sure　I　knew　the　answer；　and　it　was　a　painful　answer；　so　I　left　it　unsaid。　Maybe　I　was　growing　up　at　last。　Not　every　thought　that　came　into　my　head　had　to　e　out　of　my　mouth。
　〃Or　it　could　simply　be　that　you've　wanted　Nathaniel　for　a　very　long　time。　There　is　satisfaction　in　finally　giving　in　to　the　desire。〃
　I　pushed　away　from　him。　〃You　know；　you're　not　very　good　at　this　forting　stuff。〃
　〃You　said　no　games。　Isn't　a　lie　the　same　as　playing　a　game？〃
　I　frowned　at　him。　〃I　did　not　have　sex　with　Nathaniel。〃
　〃e；　ma　petite；　you　did　not　have　intercourse；　but　to　say　you　did　not　have　sex　is　splitting　the　hair　a　little　too　fine；　no？〃
　I　glared　at　him　and　tried　to　be　angry；　but　there　was　something　closer　to　panic　than　anger　making　my　heart　beat　faster。　〃Are　you　saying　that　what　we　just　did　qualifies　as　sex？〃
　〃Are　you　saying　that　it　did　not？〃
　I　turned　so　I　couldn't　see　his　face；　hugging　my　arms　around　myself。　I　finally　turned　back　to　look　at　him。　I　tried　leaning　against　the　wall；　but　the　tiles　were　cold　and　I　was　still　naked。　I　needed　my　clothes；　but　they　were　out　in　the　other　room；　and　I　was　so　not　ready　to　see　the　other　men　again。
　〃So　you're　saying　that　we　had　sex　　all　of　us？〃
　He　took　a　deep　breath。　〃What　answer　do　you　want；　ma　petite？〃
　〃Truth　would　be　nice。〃
　〃No；　you　do　not　want　the　truth。　I　thought　that　you　did；　or　I　would　have　taken　better　care　about　what　I　said。〃　He　looked　tired。　〃I　am　glad　you　are　the　woman　that　you　are；　but　there　are　moments　when　I　wish　that　you　could　simply　enjoy　something　without　being　chased　around　the　room　by　your　guilt　and　your　morals　afterwards。　What　we　did　tonight　is　a　glorious　thing。　A　thing　to　be　shared　and　treasured；　not　something　to　be　ashamed　of。〃
　〃I　was　doing　better　with　it　before　you　told　me　it　counts　as　sex。〃
　〃And　the　fact　that　I　had　to　tell　you　that　it　counts　as　sex　means　you　are　still　lying　to　yourself　more　than　I　have　ever　tried　to　lie　to　you。〃
　〃What's　that　supposed　to　mean？〃
　He　held　up　a　hand。　〃I　will　say　no　more　about　this。　You　do　not　want　the　truth；　and　you　told　me　not　to　lie。　I　am　out　of　options。〃
　I　hugged　myself　and　frowned　at　the　floor。　I　tried　to　wrap　my　mind　around　what　he'd　said；　what　we'd　done；　and　I　just　couldn't　do　it。　We　needed　a　change　of　topic；　fast。
　〃Jason　acted　like　a　power　substitute　for　Richard；〃　I　said。
　〃Oui。〃　He　let　me　change　the　subject　without　a　word　or　a　change　in　expression。
　〃I　didn't　know　we　could　do　that。〃
　〃Nor　did　I。〃　He　took　those　few　gliding　steps　that　put　him　beside　me　again。　〃If　it　is　fort　that　you　want；　more　than　truth；　then　I　can　do　that。〃　He　touched　my　chin；　raised　my　face　so　that　our　gazes　met。　〃But　you　must　tell　me　when　you　do　not　want　the　truth；　ma　petite。　It　is　usually　your　greatest　demand　on　me。〃
　I　stared　up　into　his　beautiful　face　and　understood　what　he　was　offering　　fort；　but　not　honesty。　forting　lies；　because　I　didn't　want　to　hear　the　truth。　〃I　don't　want　you　to　lie　to　me；　but　I'm　about　at　my　limit　for　hard　truths　for　the　day。　I　need　a　breather。〃
　〃You　want　a　space　of　calm　to　think　about　everything。　I　understand　that。　I　can　even　give　it　to　you　for　a　few　hours；　but　you　have　to　confront　Richard　at　the　lupanar　tonight；　and　I　fear　that　more　hard　truths　await　you　there。〃
　I　put　my　face　against　his　chest；　cuddled　into　the　smoothness　of　his　skin；　caught　between　the　furred　lapels。　〃Your　bringing　up　Richard　isn't　going　to　make　me　feel　better。〃
　〃My　apologies。〃　He　was　rubbing　my　back　with　his　hands；　over　and　over。　The　movement　made　the　fur　on　the　sleeves　rub　up　and　down　my　body；　from　my　butt　to　my　shoulders。　It　was　soothing　and　not　soothing　at　the　same　time。　I　looked　up　at　him　and　didn't　know　whether　to　cry　or　scream。　〃I　thought　I　fed　the　ardeur。〃
　His　hands　went　still　against　my　body。　〃You　have；　and　you　have　fed　it　well；　but　it　is　always　just　below　the　surface。　Like　being　full　but　still　admiring　a　beautifully　made　dessert。〃
　I　didn't　really　like　the　analogy；　but　couldn't　think　of　a　better　one。　I　pressed　my　body　into　his　robe；　let　him　cradle　me　against　his　body；　and　listened　to　the　forting　beat　of　his　heart。
　I　spoke　with　my　face　pressed　against　his　chest；　the　black　furred　edge　of　the　lapels　tickling　my　lips。　〃Why　didn't　you　warn　me　that　she　could　do　that？〃
　〃If　you　were　a　vampire　of　my　line；　then　I　would　have　warned　you；　but　you　are　not　vampire；　you　are　human；　and　it　should　not　work　that　way　for　you。〃
　I　leaned　back　enough　to　see　his　face。　〃Can　she　enter　any　of　her　。。。　children？〃
　〃No；　her　ability　to　look　in　upon　her　children　only　lasts　for　a　few　nights。　Once　the　new　vampire　is　strong　enough　to　control　its　own　hunger；　then　she　is　unable　to　enter；　as　if　some　door　closes　that　was　held　open　before。〃
　〃She　called　my　beast；　or　beasts；　or　whatever　the　hell　is　going　on　with　me。　She　called　it　to　the　surface　like　she　knew　what　she　was　doing。〃
　〃Her　animal　to　call　is　all　great　cats。〃
　〃So；　leopards；〃　I　said。
　He　nodded。　〃Among　other　things。〃
　〃I　thought　only　the　Master　of　Beasts　could　call　more　than　one　animal。〃
　〃It　was　the　ability　he　came　with　from　almost　the　beginning；　but　many　of　the　oldest　grow　into　a　variety　of　powers。　She　began；　as　I　understand　it；　able　to　call　only　leopards；　then　one　by　one　the　other　great　cats　answered　to　her。〃
　〃If　I　really　am　a　wereleopard；　will　she　be　able　to　control　me　　if　she　meets　me？〃
　〃You　cast　her　out；　ma　petite。　You　can　answer　your　own　question；　can　you　not？〃
　〃You're　saying　I　kicked　her　butt　once；　I　can　do　it　again。〃
　〃Something　like　that；　oui。〃
　I　pushed　away　from　him；　my　fingers　trailing　down　his　arms　under　the　heavy　robe　until　our　hands　touched。　〃Trust　me；　Jean…Claude；　one　victory　doesn't　guarantee　you'll　win　the　war。〃
　〃This　was　not　a　small　victory；　ma　petite。　Never　in　all　her　two　thousand　years　of　life　has　any　of　her　line　defied　her　as　you　just　did。〃　He'd　bent　at　the　waist　just　a　little　to　kiss　my　hands；　showing　a　long；　thin　triangle　of　his　chest　and　upper　stomach。　My　gaze　followed　that　line　of　pale　flesh　down　into　the　shadow　that　hid　the　rest　of　him。　For　once　I　didn't　want　to　undo　the　robe。　Part　of　it　was　that　I　was　well　。。。　satisfied；　and　part　of　it　　most　of　it　　was　that　I　had　just　had　sex　with　four　men　at　once；　and　my　disfort　level　was　just　a　little　too　high　to　think　about　any　sex　for　a　while。
　〃I　knew　that　vampires　could　make　the　bite　pleasant；　but　I　never　dreamed　it　felt　like　that；〃　I　said。
　〃It　is　one　of　Asher's　gifts　to　make　his　bite　orgasmic。〃
　I　looked　at　him。
　He　nodded。　〃Oui；　ma　petite；　I　can　make　it　pleasant；　but　not　that　pleasant。〃
　〃Asher　bit　me　once；　and　it　wasn't　orgasmic。〃
　〃He　drew　back　when　he　realized　he　had　rolled　your　mind　without　intending　to。　He　。。。　behaved　himself。〃
　I　raised　my　eyebrows　at　that。　If　tonight　was　the　real　thing；　he'd　more　than　behaved　himself。　〃You　fed　off　of　it；　too；　and　Belle　Morte；　as　well。〃
　〃It　was　a　feast；　was　it　not？〃　And　something　in　the　way　he　said　it　made　me　blush。　〃I　do　not　mean　to　embarrass　you；　ma　petite；　but　it　was　glorious。　I　have　not　shared　Asher's　gift　in　over　two　hundred　years。　I　had　almost　made　myself　forget　what　it　was　like。〃
　〃So　you　can't　do　this　without　Belle　Morte。〃
　〃One　of　her　gifts　is　to　be　a　bridge；　a　connection；　between　her　children。　That　allowed　the　sharing　of　gifts。〃
　〃I　cast　her　out；　Jean…Claude；　it　won't　be　happening　again。〃
　〃And　we　are　both　thrilled。　I　do　not　think　you　understand　the　risk　we　all　took；　ma　petite。　If　you　had　failed　to　cast　her　out；　then　she　could　have　done　things　to　us；　eve