brideshead+revisited-第48部分

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m　at　home；　but　I　wish　it　hadn't　got　to　happen　quite　this　way。'
　　　　'So　she　knows；'　I　thought。　'She's　a　sharp　one。　She's　had　her　nose　down　since　luncheon　and　picked　up　the　scent。'
　　　　I　let　her　get　clear　of　the　place　and　was　about　to　follow　…　the　rooms　were　nearly　empty　…　when　I　heard　a　voice　at　the　turnstile　I　had　not　heard　for　many　years；　an　unforgettable　self…taught　stammer；　a　sharp　cadence　of　remonstration。
　　　　'No。　I　have　not　brought　a　card　of　invitation。　I　do　not　even　know　whether　I　received　one。　I　have　not　e　to　a　social　function…　I　do　not　seek　to　scrape　acquaintance　with　Lady　Celia；　I　do　not　want　my　photograph　in　the　Tatler；　I　have　not　e　to　exhibit　myself。　I　have　e　to　see　the　pictures。　Perhaps　you　are　unaware　that　there　are　any　pictures　here。　I　happen　to　have　a　personal　interest　in　the　artist　…　if　that　word　has　any　meaning　for　you。'
　　　　'Antoine'　I　said；　'e　in。'
　　　　'My　dear；　there　is　a　g…g…gorgon　here　who　thinks　I　am　g…g…gate…crashing。　I　only　arrived　in　London　yesterday；　and　heard　quite　by　chance　at　luncheon　that　you　were　having　an　exhibition；　so；　of　course　I　dashed　impetuously　to　the　shrine　to　pay　homage。　Have　I　changed？　Would　you　recognize　me？　Where　are；　the　pictures？　Let　me　explain　them　to　you。'
　　　　Anthony　Blanche　had　not　changed　from　when　I　last　saw　him；　not；　indeed；　from　when　I　first　saw　him。　He　swept　lightly　across　the　room　to　the　most　prominent　canvas　…　a　jungle　landscape　paused　a　moment；　his　head　cocked　like　a　knowing　terrier；　and　asked：　'Where；　my　dear　Charles；　did　you　find　this　sumptuous　greenery？　The　er　of　a　hothouse　at　T…t…rent　or　T…t…tring？　What　gorgeous　usurer　nurture。d　these　fronds　for　your　pleasure？'　Then　he　made　a　tour　of　the　two　rooms；　once　or　twice　he　sighed　deeply；　otherwise　he　kept　silence。　When　he　came　to　the　end　he　sighed　once　more；　more　deeply　than　ever；　and　said：　'But　they　tell　me；　My　dear；　you　are　happy　in　love。　That　is　everything；　is　it　not；　or　nearly　everything？'
　　　　'Are　they　as　bad　as　that？'
　　　　Anthony　dropped　his　voice　to　a　piercing　whisper：　'My　dear；　let　us　not　expose　your　little　imposture　before　these　good；　plain　people'　…　he　gave　a　conspiratorial　glance　to　the　last　remnants　of　the　crowd　…　'let　us　not　spoil　their　innocent　pleasure。　We　know；　you　and　I；　that　this　is　all　t…t…terrible　t…t…tripe。　Let　us　go；　before　we　offend　the　connoisseurs。　I　know　of　a　louche　little　bar　quite　near　here。　Let　us　go　there　and　talk　of　your　other　c…c…conquests。'
　　　　It　needed　this　voice　from　the　past　to　recall　me；　the　indiscriminate　chatter　of　praise　all　that　crowded　day　had　worked　on　me　like　a　succession　of　advertisement　hoardings　on　a　long　road；　kilometre　after　kilometre　between　the　poplars；　manding　one　to　stay　at　some　new　hotel；　so　that　when　at　the　end　of　the　drive；　stiff　and　dusty；　one　arrives　at　the　destination；　it　seems　inevitable　to　turn　into　the　yard　under　the　name　that　had　first　bored；　then　angered　one；　and　finally　bee　an　inseparable　part　of　one's　fatigue。
　　　　Anthony　led　me　from　the　gallery　and　down　a　side　street　to　a　door　between　a　disreputable　newsagent　and　a　disreputable　chemist；　painted　with　the　words　'Blue　Grotto　Club。　Members　only。'
　　　　'Not　quite　your　milieu；　my　dear；　but　mine；　I　assure　you。　After　all；　you　have　been　in　your　milieu　all　day。'
　　　　He　led　me　downstairs；　from　a　smell　of　cats　to　a　smell　of　gin　and　cigarette…ends　and　the　sound　of　a　wireless。
　　　　'I　was　given　the　address　by　a　dirty　old　man　in　the　Boeuf　sur　le　Toit。　I　am　most　grateful　to　him。　I　have　been　out　of　England　so　long；　and　really　sympathetic　little　joints　like　this　change　so　fast。　I　presented　myself　here　for　the　first　time　yesterday　evening；　and　already　I　feel　quite　at　home。　Good　evening；　Cyril。'
　　　　'　'Lo；　Toni；　back　again？'　said　the　youth　behind　the　bar。
　　　　'We　will　take　our　drinks　and　sit　in　a　er。　You　must　remember；　my　dear；　that　here　you　are　just　as　conspicuous　and；　may　I　say；　abnormal；　my　dear；　as　I　should　be　in　B…b…bratt's。'
　　　　The　place　was　painted　cobalt；　there　was　cobalt　lineoleum　on　the　floor。　Fishes　of　silver　and　gold　paper　had　been　pasted　haphazard　on　ceiling　and　walls。　Half　a　dozen　youths　were　drinking　and　playing　with　the　slot…machines；　an　older；　natty；　crapulous…looking　man　seemed　to　be　in　control；　there　was　some　sniggering　round　the　fruit…gum　machine；　then　one　of　the　youths　came　up　to　us　and　said；　'Would　your　friend　care　to　rhumba？'
　　　　'No；　Tom；　he　would　not；　and　I'm　not　going　to　give　you　a　drink；　not　yet；　anyway。　That's　a　very　impudent　boy；　a　regular　little　gold…digger；　my　dear。'
　　　　'Well；'　I　said；　affecting　an　ease　I　was　far　from　feeling　in　that　den；　what　have　you　been　up　to　all　these　years？'
　　　　'My　dear；　it　is　what　you　have　been　up　to　that　we　are　here　to　talk　about。　I've　been　watching　you；　my　dear。　I'm　a　faithful　old　body　and　I've　kept　my　eye　on　you。'　As　he　spoke　the　bar　and　the　bar…tender；　the　blue　wicker　furniture；　the　gambling…machines；　the　gramophone；　the　couple　of　youths　dancing　on　the　oilcloth；　the　youths　sniggenng　round　the　slots；。　the　purple…veined；　stiffly…；　dressed　elderly　man　drinking　in　the　corner　opposite　us；　the　whole　drab　and　furtive　joint　seemed　to　fade；　and　I　was　back　in　Oxford　looking　out　over　Christ　Church　meadow　through　a　window　of　Ruskin…Gothic。　'I　went　to　your　first　exhibition；'　said　Anthony；　'I　found　it　…　charming。　There　was　an　interior　of　Marchmain　House；　very　English；　very　correct；　but　quite　delicious。　〃Charles　has　done　something；〃　I　said；　〃not　all　he　will　do；　not　all　he　can　do；　but　something。〃
　　　　'Even　then；　my　dear；　I　wondered　a　little。　It　seemed　to　me　that　there　was　something　a　little　gentlemanly　about　your　painting。　You　must　remember　I　am　not　English；　I　cannot　understand　this　keen　zest　to　be　well…bred。　English　snobbery　is　more　macabre　to　me　even　than　English　morals。　However；　I　said；　〃Charles　has　done　something　delicious。　What　will　he　do　next？〃
　　　　'The　next　thing　I　saw　was　your　very　handsome　volume　〃Village　and　Provincial　Architecture〃；　was　it　called？　Quite　a　tome；　my　dear；　and　what　did　I　find？　Charm　again。　〃Not　quite　my　cup　of　tea；〃　I　thought；　〃this　is　too　English。〃　I　have　the　fancy　for　rather　spicy　things；　you　know；　not　for　the　shade　of　the　cedar　tree；　the　cucumber　sandwich；　the　silver　cream…jug；　the　English　girl　dressed　in　whatever　English　girls　do　wear　for　tennis　…　not　that；　not　Jane　Austen；　not　M…m…miss　M…m…mitford。　Then；　to　be　frank；　dear　Charles；　I　despaired　of　you。　〃I　am　a　degenerate　old　d…d…dago；〃　I　said　〃and　Charles　…　I　speak　of　your　art；　my　dear　…　is　a　dean's　daughter　in　flowered　muslin。〃
　　　　'Imagine　then　my　excitement　at　luncheon　today。　Everyone　was　talking　about　you。　My　hostess　was　a　friend　of　my　mother's；　a　Mrs　Stuyvesant　Oglander；　a　friend　of　yours；　too；　my　dear。　Such　a　frump！　Not　at　all　the　society　I　imagined　you　to　keep。　However；　they；　had　all　been　to　your　exhibition；　but　it　was　you　they　talked　of；　how　you　had　broke　away；　my　dear；　gone　to　the　tropics；　bee　a　Gauguin；　a　Rimbaud。　You　can　imagine　how　my　old　heart　leaped。
　　　　'　〃Poor　Celia；〃　they　said；　〃after　all　she's　done　for　him。〃　〃He　owes　everything　to　her。　It's　too　bad。〃　〃And　with　Julia；〃　they　said；　〃after　the　way　she　behaved　in　America。〃　〃Just　as　she　was　going　back　to　Rex。〃
　　　　'　〃But　the　pictures；〃　I　said；　〃Tell　me　about　them。〃
　　　　'Oh；　the　pictures；〃　they　said；　〃they're　most　peculiar。〃　〃Not　at　all　what　he　usually　does。〃　〃Very　forceful。〃　〃Quite　barbaric。〃　〃I　call　them　downright　unhealthy；〃　said　Mrs　Stuyvesant　Oglander。
　　　　'My　dear；　I　could　hardly　keep　still　in　my　chair。　I　wanted　to　dash　out　of　the　house　and　leap　in　a　taxi　and　say；　〃Take　me　to　Charles's　unhealthy　pictures。〃　Well；　I　went；　but　the　gallery　after　luncheon　was　so　full　of　absurd　women　in　the　sort　of　hats　they　should　be　made　to　eat；　that　I　rested　a　little　…　I　rested　here　with　Cyril　and　Tom　and　these　saucy　boys。　Then　I　came　back　at　the　unfashionable　time　of　five　o'clock；　all　agog；　my　dear；　and　what　did　I　find？　I　found；　my　dear；　a　very　naughty　and　very　successful　practical　joke。　It　reminded　me　of　dear　Sebastian　when　he　liked　so　much　to　dress　up　in　false　whiskers。　It　was　charm　again；　my　dear；　simple；　creamy　English　charm；　playing　tigers。'
　　　　'You're…quite　right；'　I　said。
　　　　'My　dear；　of　course　I'm　right。　I　was　right　years　ago　…　more　years；　I　am　happy　to　say；　than　either　of　us　shows　…　when　I　warned　you。　I　took　you　out　to　dinner　to　warn　you　of　charm。　I　warned　you　expressly　and　in　great　detail　of　the　Flyte　family。　Charm　is　the　great　English　blight。　It　does　not　exist　outside　these　damp　islands。　It　spots　and　kills　anything　it　touches。　It　kills　love；　it　kills　art；　I　greatly　fear；　my　dear　Charles；　it　has　killed　you。'
　　　　The　youth　called　Tom　approached　us　again。　'Don't　be　a　tease；　Toni；　buy　me　a　drink。'　I　remembered　my　train　and　left　Anthony　with　him。
　　　　As　I　stood　on　the　platform　by　the　restaurant…car　I　saw　my　luggage　and　Julia's　go　past　with　Julia's　sour…faced　maid　strutting　beside　the　porter。　They　had　begun　shutting　the　carriage　doors　when　Julia　arrived；　unhurried；　and　took　her　place　in　front　of　me。　I　had　a　table　for　two。　This　was　a　very　convenient　train；　there　was　half　an　hour　before；　dinner　and　half　and　hour　after　it；　then；　instead　of　changing　to　the　branch　line；　as　had　been　the　rule　in　Lady　Marchmain's　day；　we　were　met　at　the　junction。　It　was　night　as　we　drew　out　of　Paddington；　and　the　glow　of　the　town　gave　place　first　to　the　scattered　lights　of　the　suburbs；　then　to　the　darkness　of　the　fields。
　　　　'It　seems　days　since　I　saw　you；'　I　said。
　　　　'Six　hours；　and　we　were　together　all　yesterday。　You　look　worn　out。'
　　　　'It's　been　a　day　of　nightmare　…　crowds；　critics；　the　Clarences；　a　luncheon　party　at　Margot's；　ending　up　with　half　an　hour's　well…reasoned　abuse　of　my　pictures　in　a　pansy　bar。。。I　think　Celia　knows　about　us。'
　　　　'Well；　she　had　to　know　some　time。'
　　　　'Everyone　seems　to　know。　My　pansy　friend　had　not　been　in　London　twenty…four　hours　before　he'd　heard。'
　　　　'Damn　everybody。'
　　　　'What　about　Rex？'
　　　　'Rex　isn't　anybody　at　all；'　said　Julia；　'he　just　doesn't　exist。'　The　knives　and　forks　jingled　on　the　table　as　we　sped　through　the　darkness；　the　little…　circle　of　gin　and　vermouth　in　the　glasses　lengthened　to　oval；　contracted　again；　with　the　sway　of　the　carriage；　touched　the　lip；　lapped　back　again；　never　spilt；　I　was　leaving　the　day　behind　me。　Julia　pulled　off　her　hat　and　tossed　it　into　the　rack　above　her；　and　shook　her　night