brideshead+revisited-第53部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　　　　Julia　had　just　returned　from　a　luncheon　party　given　by　Lady　Rossmon　in　honour　of　Brideshead's　engagement。
　　　　'What's　she　like？'
　　　　'Majestic　and　voluptuous；　mon；　of　course；　husky　voice；　big　mouth；　small　eyes；　dyed　hair　…　I'll　tell　you　one　thing；　she's　lied　to　Bridey　about　her　age。　She's　a　good　forty…five。　I　don't　see　her　providing　an　heir。　Bridey　can't　take　his　eyes　off　her。　He　was　gloating　on　her　in　the　most　revolting　way　all　through　luncheon。'
　　　　'Friendly？'
　　　　'Goodness；　yes；　in　a　condescending　way。　You　see；　I　imagine　she's　been　used　to　bossing　things　rather　in　naval　circles；　with　flag…lieutenants　trotting　round　and　young　officers　on…the…make　sucking　up　to　her。　Well；　she　clearly　couldn't　do　a　great　deal　of　bossing　at　Aunt　Fanny's；　so　it　put　her　rather　at　ease　to　have　me　there　as　the　black　sheep。　She　concentrated　on　me　in　fact；　asked　my　advice　about　shops　and　things；　said；　rather　pointedly；　she　hoped　to　see　me　often　in　London。　I　think　Bridey's　scruples　only　extend　to　her　sleeping　under　the　same　roof　with　me。　Apparently　I　can　do　her　no　serious　harm　in　a　hat…shop　or　hairdresser's　or　lunching　at　the　Ritz。　The　scruples　are　all　on　Bridey's　part；　anyway；　the　widow　is　madly　tough。'
　　　　'Does　she　boss　him？'
　　　　'Not　yet；　much。　He's　in　an　amorous　stupor；　poor　beast；　and　doesn't　quite　know　where　he　is。　She's　just　a　good…hearted　woman　who　wants　a　good　home　for　her　children　and　isn't　going　to　let　anything　get　in　her　way。　She's　playing　up　the　religious　stuff　at　the　moment　for　all　it's　worth。　I　daresay　she'll　go　easier　when　she's　settled。'

　　　　The　divorces　were　much　talked　of　among　our　friends；　even　in　that　summer　of　general　alarm　there　were　still　corners　where　private　affairs　manded　first　attention。　My　wife　was　able　to　make　it　understood　that　the　business　was　at　the　same　time　a　matter　of　congratulation　for　her　and　reproach　for　me；　that　she　had　behaved　wonderfully；　had　stood　it　longer　than　anyone　but　she　would　have　done。　Robin　was　seven　years　younger　and　a　little　immature　for　his　age；　they　whispered　in　their　private　corners；　but　he　was　absolutely　devoted　to　poor　Celia；　and　really　she　deserved　it　after　all　she　had　been　through。　As　for　Julia　and　me；　that　was　an　old　story。　'To　put　it　crudely；'　said　my　cousin　Jasper；　as　though　he　had　ever　in　his　life　put　anything　otherwise：　'I　don't　see　why　you　bother　to　marry。'
　　　　Summer　passed；　delirious　crowds　cheered　Neville　Chamberlain's　return　from　Munich；　Rex　made　a　rabid　speech　in　the　House　of　mons　which　sealed　his　fate　one　way　or　the　other；　sealed　it；　as　is　sometimes　done　with　naval　orders；　to　be　opened　later　at　sea。　Julia's　family　lawyers；　whose　black；　tin　boxes；　painted　'Marquis　of　Marchmain'；　seemed　to　fill　a　room；　began　the　slow　process　of　her　divorce；　my　own；　brisker　firm；　two　doors　down；　were　weeks　ahead　with　my　affairs。　It　was　necessary　for　Rex　and　Julia　to　separate　formally；　and　since；　for　the　time　being；　Brideshead　was　still　her　home；　she　remained　there　and　Rex　removed　his　trunks　and　valet　to　their　house　in　London。　Evidence　was　taken　against　Julia　and　me　in　my　flat。　A　date　was　fixed　for　Brideshead's　wedding；　early　in　the　Christmas　holidays；　so　that　his　future　step…children　might　take　part。
　　　　One　afternoon　in　November　Julia　and　I　stood　at　a　window　in　the　drawing…room　watching　the　wind　at　work　stripping　the　lime　trees；　sweeping　down　the　yellow　leaves；　sweeping　them　up　and　round　and　along　the　terrace　and　lawns；　trailing　them　through　puddles　and　over　the　wet　grass；　pasting　them　on　walls　and　window…panes；　leaving　them　at　length　in　sodden　piles　against　the　stonework。
　　　　'We　shan't　see　them　in　spring；'　said　Julia；　'perhaps　never　again。'
　　　　'Once　before；'　I　said；　'I　went　away；　thinking　I　should　never　return。'
　　　　'Perhaps　years　later；　to　what's　left　of　it；　with　what's　left　of　us。。。'
　　　　A　door　opened　and　shut　in　the　darkling　room　behind　us。　Wilcox　approached　through　the　firelight　into　the　dusk　about　the　long　windows。
　　　　'A　telephone　message；　my　Lady；　from　Lady　Cordelia。'
　　　　'Lady　Cordelia！　…Where　was　she？'
　　　　'In　London；　my　Lady。'
　　　　'Wilcox；　how　lovely！　Is　she　ing　home？'
　　　　'She　was　just　starting　for　the　station。　She　will　be　here　after　dinner。'
　　　　'I　haven't　seen　her　for　twelve　years；'　I　said　…　not　since　the　evening　when　we　dined　together　and　she　spoke　of　being　a　nun；　the　evening　when　I　painted　the　drawing…room　at　Marchmain　House。　'She　was　an　enchanting　child。'
　　　　'She's　had　an　odd　life。　First；　the　convent；　then；　when　that　was　no　good；　the　war　in　Spain。　I've　not　seen　her　since　then。　The　other　girls；　who　went　with　the　ambulance　came　back　when　the　war　was　over；　she　stayed　on；　getting　people　back　to　their　homes；　helping　in　the　prison…camps。　An　odd　girl。　She's　grown　up　quite　plain；　you　know。'
　　　　'Does　she　know　about　us？'
　　　　'Yes；　she　wrote　me　a　sweet　letter。'
　　　　It　hurt　to　think　of　Cordelia　growing　up　'quite　plain'；　to　think　of　all　that　burning　love　spending　itself　on　serum…injections　and　delousing　powder。　When　she　arrived；　tired　from　her　journey；　rather　shabby；　moving　in　the　manner　of　one　who　has　no　interest　in　pleasing；　I　thought　her　an　ugly　woman。　It　was　odd；　I　thought；　how　the　same　ingredients；　differently　dispensed；　could　produce　Brideshead；　Sebastian；　Julia；　and　her。　She　was　unmistakably　their　sister；　without　any　of　Julia's　or　Sebastian's　grace；　without　Brideshead's　gravity。　She　seemed　brisk　and　matter…of…fact；　steeped　in　the　atmosphere　of　camp　and　dressing…station；　so　accustomed　to　gross　suffering　as　to　lose　the　finer　shades　of　pleasure。　She　looked　more　than　her　twenty…six　years；　hard　living　had　roughened　her；　constant　intercourse　in　a　foreign　tongue　had　worn　away　the　nuances　of　speech；　she　straddled　a　little　as　she　sat　by　the　fire；　and　when　she　said；　'It's　wonderful　to　be　home；'　it　sounded　to　my　ears　like　the　grunt　of　an　animal　returning　to　its　basket。
　　　　Those　were　the　impressions　of　the　first　half　hour；　sharpened　by　the　contrast　with　Julia's　white　skin　and　silk　and　jewelled　hair　and　with　my　memories　of　her　as　a　child。
　　　　'My　job's　over　in　Spain；'　she　said；　'the　authorities　were　very　polite；　thanked　me　for　all　I'd　done；　gave　me　a　medal；　and　sent　me　packing。　It　'　looks　as　though　there'll　be　plenty　of　the　same　sort　of　work　over　here　soon。'
　　　　Then　she　said：　'Is　it　too　late　to　see　nanny？'
　　　　'No；　she　sits　up　to　all　hours　with　her　wireless。'
　　　　We　went　up；　all　three　together；　to　the　old　nursery。　Julia　and　I　always　spent　part　…of　our　day　there。　Nanny　Hawkins　and　my　father　were　two　people　who　seemed　impervious　to　change；　neither　an　hour　older　than　when　I　first　knew　them。　A　wireless　set　had　now　been　added　to　Nanny　Hawkins'　small　…assembly　of　pleasures　…　the　rosary；　the　Peerage　with　its　neat　brown…paper　wrapping　protecting　the　red　and　gold　covers；　the　photographs；　and　holiday　souvenirs　…　on　her　table。　When　we　broke　it　to　her　that　Julia　and　I　were　to　be　married；　she　said：　'Well；　dear；　I　hope　it's　all　for　the　best；'　for　it　was　not　part　of　her　religion　to　question　the　propriety　of　Julia's　actions。
　　　　Brideshead　had　never　been　a　favourite　with　her；　she　greeted　the　news　of　his　engagement　with：　'He's　certainly　taken　long　enough　to　make　up　his　mind；'　and；　when　the　search　through　Debrett　afforded　no　information　about　Mrs　Muspratt's　connections：　'She's　caught　him；　I　daresay。'
　　　　We　found　her；　as　always　in　the　evening；　at　the　fireside　with　her　teapot；　and　the　wool　rug　she　was　making。
　　　　'I　knew　you'd　be　up；'　she　said。　'Mr　Wilcox　sent　to　tell　me　you　were　ing。'
　　　　'I　brought　you　some　lace。'
　　　　'Well；　dear；　that　is　nice。　Just　like　her　poor　Ladyship　used　to　wear　at　mass。　Though　why　they　made　it　black　I　never　did　understand；　seeing　lace　is　white　naturally。　That　is　very　wele；　I'm　sure。'
　　　　'May　I　turn　off　the　wireless；　nanny？'
　　　　'Why；　of　course；　I　didn't　notice　it　was　on；　in　the　pleasure　of'　seeing　you。　What　have　you　done　to　your　hair？'
　　　　'I　know　it's　terrible。　I　must　get　all　that　put　right　now　I'm　back。　Darling　nanny。'
　　　　As　we　sat　there　talking；　and　I　saw　Cordelia's　fond　eyes　on　all　of　us；　I　began　to　realize　that　she；　too；　had　a　beauty　of　her　own。
　　　　'I　saw　Sebastian　last　month。'
　　　　'What　a　time　he's　been　gone！　Was　he　quite　well？'
　　　　'Not　very。　That's　why　I　went。　It's　quite　near　you　know　from　Spain　to　Tunis。　He's　with　the　monks　there。'
　　　　'I　hope　they　look…　after　him　properly。　I　expect　they　find　him　a　regular　handful。　He　always　sends　to　me　at　Christmas；　but　it's　not　the　same　as　having　him　home。　Why　you　must　all　always　be　going　abroad　I　never　did　understand。　Just　like　his　Lordship。　When　there　was　that　talk　about　going　to　war　with　Munich；　I　said　to　myself；　〃There's　Cordelia　and　Sebastian　and　his　Lordship　all　abroad；　that'll　be　very　awkward　for　them。〃　'
　　　　'I　wanted　him　to　e　home　with　me；　but　he　wouldn't。　He's　got　a　beard　now；　you　know；　and　he's　very　religious。'
　　　　'That　I　won't　believe；　not　even　if　I　see　it。　He　was　always　a　little　heathen。　Brideshead　was　one　for　church；　not　Sebastian。　And　a　beard；　only　fancy；　such　a　nice　fair　skin　as　he　had；　always　looked　clean　though　he'd　not　been　near　water　all　day；　while　Brideshead　there　was　no　doing　anything　with；　scrub　as　you　might。'

　　　　'It's　frightening；'　Julia　once　said；　'to　think　how　pletely　you　have　forgotten　Sebastian。'
　　　　'He　was　the　forerunner。'
　　　　'That's　what　you　said　'in　the　storm。　I've　thought　since；　perhaps　I　am　only　a　forerunner；　too。'
　　　　'Perhaps；'　I　thought；　while　her　words　still　hung　in　the　air　between　us　like　a　wisp　of　tobacco　smoke　…　a　thought　to　fade　and　vanish　like；　smoke　without　a　trace　…　'perhaps　all　our　loves　are　merely　hints　and　symbols；　vagabond…language　scrawled　on　gate…posts　and　paving…stones　along　the　weary　road　that　other　have　tramped　before　us；　perhaps　you　and　I　are　types　and　this　sadness　which　sometimes　falls　between　us　springs　from　disappointment　in。　our　search；　each　straining　through　and　beyond　the　other；　snatching　a　glimpse　now　and　then　of　the　shadow　which　turns　the　corner　always　a　pace　or　two　ahead　of　us。'
　　　　I　had　not　forgotten　Sebastian。　He　was　with　me　daily　in　Julia；　or　rather　it　was　Julia　I　had　known　in　him；　in　those　distant　Arcadian　days。
　　　　'That's　cold　fort　for　a　girl；'　she　said　when　I　tried　to　explain。　'How　do　I　know　I　shan't　suddenly　turn　out　to　be　somebody　else？　It's　an　easy　way　to　chuck。'
　　　　I　had　not　forgotten　Sebastian；　every　stone　of　the　hous