brideshead+revisited-第55部分

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rite　with　the　old　fathers；　something　of　a　joke　to　the　novices。　Everyone　will　know　about　his　drinking；　he'll　disappear　for　two　or　three　days　every　month　or　so；　and　they'll　all　nod　and　smile　and　say　in　their　various　accents；　〃Old　Sebastian's　on　the　spree　again；〃　and　then　he'll　e　back　dishevelled　and　shamefaced　and　be　more　devout　for　a　day　or　two　in　the　chapel。　He'll　probably　have　little　hiding　places　about　the　garden　where　he　keeps　a　bottle　and　takes　a　swig　now　and　then　on　the　sly。　They'll　bring　him　forward　to　act　as　guide；　whenever　they　have　an　English　speaking　visitor；　and　he　will　be　pletely　charming　so　that　before　they　go；　they'll　ask　about　him　and　perhaps　be　given　a　hint　that　he　has　high　connections　at　home。　If　he　lives　long　enough；　generations　of　missionaries　in　all　kinds　of　remote　places　will　think　of　him　as　a　queer　old　character　who　was　somehow　part　of　the　Home　of　their　student　days；　and　remember　him　in　their　masses。　He'll　develop　little　eccentricities　of　devotion；　intense　personal　cults　of　his　own；　he'll　be　found　in　the　chapel　at　odd　times　and　missed　when　he's　expected。　Then　one　morning；　after　one　of　his　drinking　bouts；　he'll　be　picked　up　at　the　gate　dying；　and　show　by　a　mere　flicker　of　the　eyelid　that　he　is　conscious　when　they　give　him　the　last　sacraments。　It's　not　such　a　bad　way　of　getting　through　one's　life。'
　　　　I　thought　of　the　youth　with　the　teddy…bear　under　the　flowering　chestnuts。　'It's　not　what　one　would　have　foretold；'　I　said。　'I　suppose　he　doesn't　suffer？'
　　　　'Oh；　yes；　I　think　he　does。　One　can　have　no　idea　what　the　suffering　may　be；　to　be　maimed　as　he　is　…　no　dignity；　no　power　of　will。　No　one　is　ever　holy　without　suffering。　It's　taken　that　form　with　him。。。I've　seen　so　much　suffering　in　the　last　few　years；　there's　so　much　ing　for　everybody　soon。　It's　the　spring　of　love。。。'　and　then　in　condescension　to　my　paganism；　she　added：　'He's　in　a　very　beautiful　place　you　know　by　the　sea　…　white　cloisters；　a　bell　tower；　rows　of　green　vegetables；　and　a　monk　watering　them　when　the　sun　is　low。'
　　　　I　laughed。　'You　knew　I　wouldn't　understand？'
　　　　'You　and　Julia。。。'　she　said。　And　then；　as　we　moved　on　towards　the　house；　'When　you　met　me　last　night　did　you　think；　〃Poor　Cordelia；　such　an　engaging　child；　grown　up　a　plain　and　pious　spinster；　full　of　good　works〃？　Did　you　think　〃thwarted〃？'
　　　　It　was　no　time　for　prevarication。　'Yes；'　I　said；　'I　did；　I　don't　now；　so　much。'
　　　　'It's　funny；'　she　said；　'that's　exactly　the　word　I　thought　of　for　you　and　Julia。　When　we　were　up　in　the　nursery　with　nanny。　〃Thwarted　passion；〃　I　thought。'
　　　　She　spoke　with　that　gentle；　infinitesimal　inflection　of　mockery　which　descended　to　her　from　her　mother；　but　later　that　evening　the　words　came　back　to　me　poignantly。
　　　　Julia　wore　the　embroidered　Chinese　robe　which　she　often　used　when　we　were　dining　alone　at　Brideshead；　it　was　a　robe　whose　weight　and　stiff　folds　stressed　her　repose；　her　neck　rose　exquisitely　from　the　plain　gold　circle　at　her　throat；　her　hands　lay　still　among　the　dragons　in　her　lap。　It　was　thus　that　I　had　rejoiced　to　see　her　nights　without　number；　and　that　night；　watching　her　as　she　sat　between　the　firelight　and　the　shaded　lamp；　unable　to　look　away　for　love　of　her　beauty；　I　suddenly　thought；　'When　else　have　I　seen　her　like　this？　Why　am　I　reminded　of　another　moment　of　vision？'　And　it　came　back　to　me　that　this　was　how　she　had　sat　in　the　liner；　before　the　storm；　this　was　how　she　had　looked；　and　I　realized　that　s　he　had　regained　what　I　thought　she　had　lost　for　ever；　the　magical　sadness　which　had　drawn　me　to　her；　the　thwarted　look　that　had　seemed　to　say；　'Surely　I　was　made　for　some　other　purpose　than　this？'
　　　　That　night　I　woke　in　the　darkness　and　lay　awake　turning　over　in　my　mind　the　conversation　with　Cordelia。　How　I　had　said；　'You　knew　I　would　not　understand。'　How　often；　it　seemed　to　me；　I　was　brought　up　short；　like　a　horse　in　full　stride　suddenly　refusing　an　obstacle；　backing　against　the　spurs；　too　shy　even　to　put　his　nose　at　it　and　look　at　the　thing。
　　　　And　another　image　came　to　me；　of　an　arctic　hut　and　a　trapper　alone　with　his　furs　and　oil　lamp　and　log　fire；　everything　dry　and　ship…shape　and　warm　inside；　and　outside　the　last　blizzard　of　winter　raging　and　the　snow　piling　up　against　the　door。　Quite　silently　a　great　weight　forming　against　the　timber；　the　bolt　straining　in　its　socket；　minute　by　minute　in　the　darkness　outside　the　white　heap　sealing　the　door；　until　quite　soon　when　the　wind　dropped　and　the　sun　came　out　on　the　ice　'　slopes　and　the　thaw　set　in　a　block　would　move；　slide；　and　tumble；　high　above；　gather　weight；　till　the　whole　hillside　seemed　to　be　falling；　and　the　little　lighted　place　would　open　and　splinter　and　disappear；　rolling　with　the　avalanche　into　the　ravine。

＇5＇

MY　divorce　case；　or　rather　my　wife's；　was　due　to　be　heard　at　about　the　same　time　as　Brideshead　was　to　be　married。　Julia's　would　not　e　up　till　the　following　term；　meanwhile　the　game　of　General　Post　…　moving　my　property　from　the　Old　Rectory　to　my　flat；　my　wife's　from　my　flat　to　the　Old　Rectory；　Julia's　from　Rex's　house　and　from　Brideshead　to　my　flat；　Rex's　from　Brideshead　to　his　house；　and　Mrs　Muspratt's　from　Falmouth　to　Brideshead　…　was　in　full　swing　and　we　were　all；　in　varying　degrees；　homeless；　when　a　halt　was　called　and　Lord　Marchmain；　with　a　taste　for　the　dramatically　inopportune　which　was　plainly　the　prototype　of　his　elder　son's；　declared　his　intention；　in　view　of　the　international　situation；　of　returning　to　England　and　passing　his　declining　years；　in　his　old　home。
　　　　The　only　member　of　the　family　to　whom　this　change　promised　any　benefit　was　Cordelia；　who　had　been　sadly　abandoned　in　the　turmoil。　Brideshead；　indeed；　had　made　a　formal　request　to　her　to　consider　his　house　her　home　for　as　long　as　it　suited　her；　but　when　she　learned　that　her　sister…in…law　proposed　to　install　her　children　there　for　the　holidays　immediately　after　the　wedding；　in　the　charge　of　a　sister　of　hers　and　the　sister's　friend；　Cordelia　had　decided　to　move；　too；　and　was　talking　of　setting　up　alone　in　London。　She　now　found　herself；　Cinderella…like；　promoted　ch鈚elaine；　while　her　brother　and　his　wife　who　had　till　that　moment　expected　to　find　themselves；　within　a　matter　of　days；　in　absolute　mand；　were　without　a　roof；　the　deeds　of　conveyance；　engrossed　and　ready　for　signing；　were　rolled　up；　tied；　and　put　away　in　one　of　the　black　tin　boxes　in　Lincoln's　Inn。　It　was　bitter　for　Mrs　Muspratt；　she　was　not　an　ambitious　woman；　something　very　much　less　grand　than　Brideshead　would　have　contented　her　heartily；　but　she　did　aspire　to　find　some　shelter　for　her　children　over　Christmas。　The　house　at　Falmouth　was　stripped　and　up　for　sale；　moreover；　Mrs　Muspratt　had　taken　leave　of　the　place　with　some　justifiably　rather　large　talk　of　her　new　establishment；　they　could　not　return　there。　She　was　obliged　in　a　hurry　to　move　her　furniture　from　Lady　Marchmain's　room　to　a　disused　coach…house　and　to　take　a　furnished　villa　at　Torquay。　She　was　not；　as　I　have　said；　a　woman　of　high　ambition；　but；　having　had　her　expectations　so　much　raised；　it　was　disconcerting　to　be　brought　so　low　so　suddenly。　In　the　village　the　working　party　who　had　been　preparing　the　decorations　for　the　bridal　entry；　began　unpacking　the　Bs　on　the　bunting　and　substitutin　Ms；　obliterating　the　Earl's　points　and　stencilling　balls　and　strawberry　leaves　on　the　painted；　coronets；　in　preparation　for　Lord　Marchmain's　return。
　　　　News　of　his　intentions　came　first　to　the　solicitors；　then　to　Cordelia；　then　to　Julia　and　me；　in　a　rapid　succession　of　contradictory　cables。　Lord　Marchmain　would　arrive　in　time　for　the　wedding；　he　would　arrive　after　the　wedding；　having　seen　Lord　and　Lady　Brideshead　on　their　way　through　Paris；　he　would　see　them　in　Rome。　He　was　not　well　enough　to　travel　at　all；　he　was　just　starting；　he　had　unhappy　memories　of　winter　at　Brideshead　and　would　not　e　until　spring　was　well　advanced　and　the　heating　apparatus　overhauled；　he　was　ing　alone；　he　was　bringing　his　Italian　household；　he　wished　his　return　to　be　unannounced　and　to　lead　a　life　of　plete　seclusion；　he　would　give　a　ball。　At　last　a　date　in　January　was　chosen　which　proved　to　be　the　correct　one。
　　　　Plender　preceded　him　by　some　days；　there　was　a　difficulty　here。　Plender　was　not　an　original　member　of　the　Brideshead　household；　he　had　been　Lord　Marchmain's　servant　in　the　yeomanry；　and　had　only　once　met　Wilcox　on　the　painful　occasion　of　the　removal　of　his　master's　luggage　when　it　was　decided　not　to　return　from　the　war；　then　Plender　had　been　valet；　as；　officially；　he　still　was；　but　he　had；　in　the　past　years　introduced　a　kind　of　suffragan；　a　Swiss　body…servant；　to　attend　to　the　wardrobe　and　also；　when　occasion　arose；　lend　a　hand　with　less　dignified　tasks　about　the　house；　and　had　in　effect　bee　majordomo　of　that　fluctuating　and　mobile　household；　sometimes　he　even　referred　to　himself　on　the　telephone　as　'the　secretary'。　There　was　an　acre　of　thin　ice　between　him　and　Wilcox。
　　　　Fortunately　the　two　men　took　a　liking　to　one　another；　and　the　thing　was　solved　in　a　series　of　three…cornered　discussions　with　Cordelia。　Plender　and　Wilcox　became　joint　grooms　of　the　chambers；　like　'Blues'　and　Life　Guards　with　equal　precedence；　Plender　having　as　his　particular　province　his　Lordship's　own　apartments　and　Wilcox　a　sphere　of　influence　in　the　public　rooms；　the　senior　footman　was　given　a　black　coat　and　promoted　butler；　the　non…descript　Swiss；　on　arrival；　was　to　have　plain　clothes　and　full　valet's　status　there　was　a　general　increase　in　wages　to　meet　the　new　dignities；　and　all　were　content。
　　　　Julia　and　I；　who　had　left　Brideshead　a　month　before；　thinking　we　should　not　return；　moved　back　for　the　reception。　When　the　day　came；　Cordelia　went　to　the　station　and　we　remained　to　greet　him　at　home。　It　was　a　bleak　and　gusty　day。　Cottages　and　lodges　were　decorated；　plans　for　a　bonfire　that　night　and　for　the　village　silver　band　to　play　on　the　terrace；　were　put　down；　but　the　house　flag；　that　had　not　flown　for　twenty…five　years；　was　hoisted　over　the　pediment；　and　flapped　sharply　against　the　leaden　sky。　Whatever　harsh　voices　might　be　bawling　into　the　microphones　of　central　Europe；　and　whatever　lathes　spinning　in　the　armament　factories；　the　return　of　Lord　Marchmain　was　a　matter　of　first　importance　in　his　own　neighbourhood。
　　　　He　was　due　at　t