dk.coldfire-第71部分

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　boy's　wild　tales　of　aliens　in　the　mill　were　true；　Lena　had　stumbled　backward　and　fallen　down　the　winding　stone　stairs；　unable　to　arrest　her　fall　because　there　was　no　handrail　at　which　to　grab。　
　Somewhere　along　the　way　she　broke　her　neck。　
　〃…went　inside　the　mill。　。　。　found　her　at　the　bottom　of　the　stairs　all　busted　up；　neck　twisted。　。　。　dead。〃　
　Henry　paused　for　the　first　time　in　a　while　and　swallowed　hard。　He　had　not　looked　at　Holly　once　throughout　his　account　of　that　stormy　night；　only　at　Jim's　bowed　head。　With　less　of　a　slur　in　his　voice；　as　if　it　were　vitally　important　to　him　to　tell　the　rest　of　it　as　clearly　as　he　could；　he　said：　〃I　went　up　the　steps　and　found　you　in　the　high　room；　Jimmy。　Do　you　remember　that？　Sitting　by　the　candle；　holding　the　book　in　your　hands　so　tight　it　couldn't　be　taken　from　you　till　hours　later。　
　You　wouldn't　speak。〃　
　The　old　man's　voice　quavered　now。　〃God　forgive　me；　but　all　I　could　think　about　was　Lena　being　dead；　my　dear　Lena　gone；　and　you　being　such　a　strange　child　all　year；　and　still　strange　even　at　that　moment；　with　your　book；　refusing　to　talk　to　me。　I　guess。　。　。　I　guess　I　went　a　little　mad　right　then；　for　a　while。　I　thought　you　might've　pushed　her；　Jimmy。　I　thought　you　might've　been　in　one　of　your。　。　。　upsets。　。　。　and　maybe　you　pushed　her。〃　
　As　if　it　had　bee　too　much　for　him　to　address　himself　to　his　grandson　any　longer；　Henry　shifted　his　gaze　to　Holly。　〃That　year　after　Atlanta；　he'd　been　a　strange　boy。　。　。　almost　like　a　boy　we　didn't　know。　He　was　quiet；　like　I　said；　but　there　was　rage　in　him；　too；　a　fury　like　no　child　should　ever　have。　It　sometimes　scared　us。　The　only　time　he　ever　showed　it　was　in　his　sleep。　。　。　dreaming。　。　。　we'd　hear　him　screeching；　and　we'd　go　down　the　hall　to　his　room。　。　。　and　he'd　be　kicking　and　punching　at　the　mattress；　the　pillows；　clawing　at　the　sheets；　furious；　taking　it　all　out　on　something　in　his　dreams；　and　we'd　have　to　wake　him。〃　
　Henry　paused　and　looked　away　from　Holly；　down　at　his　bent　right　hand；　which　lay　half　useless　in　his　lap。　Jim's　fist；　under　Holly's　hand；　remained　vise…tight。　
　〃You　never　struck　out　at　Lena　or　me；　Jimmy；　you　was　a　good　boy；　never　gave　us　that　kind　of　trouble。　But　in　the　mill　that　night；　I　grabbed　you　and　shook　you；　Jimmy；　tried　to　make　you　admit　how　you'd　pushed　her　down　the　stairs。　There　was　no　excuse　for　what　I　did；　how　I　behaved。　。　。　
　except　I　was　grief　crazy　over　Jamie　and　Cara；　and　now　over　Lena；　everyone　dying　around　me；　and　there　was　only　you；　and　you　were　so　strange；　so　strange　and　locked　up　in　yourself　that　you　scared　me；　so　I　turned　on　you　when　I　should　have　been　taking　you　in　my　arms。　
　Turned　on　you　that　night。　。　。　
　and　didn't　realize　what　I'd　done　until　a　lot　of　years　later。　。　。　
　too　late。〃　
　The　birds　were　in　a　tighter　circle　now。　Directly　overhead。　
　〃Don't；〃　she　said　softly　to　Jim。　〃Please　don't。〃　
　Until　Jim　responded；　Holly　could　not　know　if　these　revelations　were　for　better　or　worse。　If　he　had　blamed　himself　for　his　grandma's　death　merely　because　Henry　had　instilled　the　guilt　in　him；　then　he　would　get　past　this。　If　he　blamed　himself　because　Lena　had　e　into　the　high　room；　had　seen　The　Enemy　materializing　from　the　wall；　and　had　stumbled　backward　down　the　stairs　in　terror；　he　might　still　overe　the　past。　
　But　if　The　Enemy　had　torn　itself　free　of　the　wall　and　pushed　her。　。　。　
　〃I　treated　you　like　a　murderer　for　the　next　six　years；　until　you　went　away　to　school；〃　Henry　said。　〃When　you　was　gone。　。　。　well；　in　time；　I　started　to　think　about　it　with　a　clearer　head；　and　I　knew　what　I'd　done。　
　You'd　had　nowhere　to　turn　for　fort。　Your　mom　and　dad　were　gone；　your　grandma。　You　went　into　town　to　get　books；　but　you　couldn't　join　in　with　other　kids　because　that　little　Zacca　bastard；　Ned　Zacca；　he　was　twice　your　size　and　wouldn't　ever　let　you　alone。　You　had　no　peace　except　in　books。　I　tried　to　call　you；　but　you　wouldn't　take　the　calls。　I　wrote　but　I　think　you　never　read　the　letters。〃　
　Jim　sat　unmoving。　
　Henry　Ironheart　shifted　his　attention　to　Holly。　〃He　came　back　at　last　when　I　had　my　stroke。　He　sat　beside　me　when　I　was　in　intensive　care。　I　couldn't　speak　right；　couldn't　say　what　I　tried　to　say；　the　wrong　words　kept　ing　out；　making　no　sense…〃　〃Aphasia；〃　Holly　said。　
　〃A　result　of　the　stroke。〃　
　Henry　nodded。　〃Once；　hooked　up　to　all　those　machines；　I　tried　to　tell　him　what　I'd　known　for　almost　thirteen　years…that　he　wasn't　a　killer　and　that　I'd　been　cruel　to　him。〃　New　tears　flooded　his　eyes。　
　〃But　when　it　came　out；　it　wasn't　right　at　all；　not　what　I　meant；　and　he　misunderstood　it　thought　I'd　called　him　a　murderer　and　was　afraid　of　him。　He　left；　and　now's　the　first　I've　seen　him　since。　More　than　four　years。〃　
　Jim　sat　with　his　head　bowed。　
　Hands　fisted。　
　What　had　he　remembered　of　that　night　in　the　mill；　the　part　that　no　one　but　him　could　know？　Holly　got　up　from　the　bench；　unable　to　endure　the　wait　for　Jim's　reaction。　She　stood　there；　with　no　idea　where　to　go。　At　last　she　sat　down　again。　
　She　put　her　hand　over　his　fist；　as　before。　
　She　looked　up。　
　More　birds。　Maybe　thirty　of　them　now。　
　〃I'm　afraid；〃　Jim　said；　but　that　was　all。　
　〃After　that　night；〃　Henry　said；　〃he　never　went　into　the　mill　again；　never　mentioned　The　Friend　or　the　Willott　book。　And　at　first　I　thought　it　was　good　he　turned　away　from　that　obsession。　。　。　he　seemed　less　strange。　But　later　I've　wondered。　。　。　maybe　he　lost　the　one　fort　he　had。　〃　〃I'm　afraid　to　remember；〃　Jim　said。　
　She　knew　what　he　meant：　only　one　last　long…hidden　memory　waited　to　be　revealed。　Whether　his　grandmother　had　died　by　accident。　Or　whether　The　Enemy　had　killed　her。　Whether　he；　as　The　Enemy；　had　killed　her。　
　Unable　to　stare　at　Jim's　bowed　head　a　moment　longer；　unable　to　bear　Henry　Ironheart's　wretched　look　of　guilt　and　fragile　hope；　Holly　glanced　up　at　the　birds　again…and　saw　them　ing。　More　than　thirty　of　them　now；　dark　knives　slicing　down　through　the　somber　sky；　still　high　up　but　ing　straight　toward　the　courtyard。　
　〃Jim；　no！〃　Henry　looked　up。　
　Jim　lifted　his　face；　too；　but　not　to　see　what　was　ing。　He　knew　what　was　ing。　He　raised　his　face　as　if　to　offer　his　eyes　to　their　sharp　beaks　and　frenzied　claws。　
　Holly　leaped　to　her　feet；　making　herself　a　more　prominent　target　than　he　was。　〃Jim；　face　it；　remember　it；　for　Christ's　sake！〃　She　could　hear　the　shrieks　of　the　swift…descending　birds。　
　〃Even　if　The　Enemy　did　it；〃　she　said；　pulling　Jim's　upturned　face　to　her　breast；　shielding　him；　〃you　can　get　past　that　somehow；　you　can　go　on。〃　
　Henry　Ironheart　cried　out　in　shock；　and　the　birds　burst　over　Holly；　flapping　and　squirming　against　her；　swooping　away；　then　more　of　them　fluttering　and　scraping；　trying　to　get　past　her　and　at　Jim's　face；　at　his　eyes。　
　after　all；　manifesting　itself　in　a　whole　new　way；　and　The　Enemy　hated　her　as　much　as　it　hated　Jim。　
　The　birds　swirled　out　of　the　courtyard；　back　into　the　sky；　gone　like　so　many　leaves　in　a　violent　updraft。　
　Henry　Ironheart　was　frightened　but　unhurt。　〃Move　away；〃　she　told　him。　
　〃No；〃　he　said。　He　reached　helplessly　for　Jim；　who　would　not　reach　for　him。　
　When　Holly　dared　look　up；　she　knew　that　the　birds　were　not　finished。　
　They　had　only　soared　to　the　fringe　of　the　bearded　gray　clouds；　where　another　score　of　them　had　collected。　Fifty　or　sixty　now；　churning　and　dark；　hungry　and　quick。　
　She　was　aware　of　people　at　the　windows　and　sliding　glass　doors　that　opened　onto　the　courtyard。　Two　nurses　came　through　the　same　slider　that　she　had　used　when　wheeling　Henry　out　to　meet　Jim。　
　〃Stay　back！〃　she　shouted　at　them；　not　sure　how　much　danger　they　might　be　in。　
　Jim's　rage；　while　directed　at　himself　and　perhaps　at　God　for　the　very　fact　of　death's　existence；　might　nevertheless　spill　over　and　spend　itself　on　the　innocent。　Her　shouted　warning　must　have　frightened　the　nurses；　for　they　retreated　and　stood　in　the　doorway。　
　She　raised　her　eyes　again。　The　larger　flock　was　ing。　
　〃Jim；〃　she　said　urgently；　holding　his　face　in　both　hands；　peering　into　his　beautiful　blue　eyes；　icy　now　with　a　cold　fire　of　self　hatred；　〃only　one　more　step；　only　one　more　thing　to　remember。〃　Though　their　eyes　were　only　a　few　inches　apart；　she　did　not　believe　that　he　saw　her；　he　seemed　to　be　looking　through　her　as　he　had　earlier　in　Tivoli　Gardens　when　the　burrowing　creature　had　been　racing　at　them。　
　The　descending　flock　squealed　demonically。　
　〃Jim；　damn　you；　what　happened　to　Lena　might　not　be　worth　suicide！〃　The　rustle…roar　of　wings　filled　the　day。　She　pulled　Jim's　face　against　her　body；　and　as　before　he　did　not　struggle　when　she　shielded　him；　which　gave　her　hope。　She　bent　her　head　and　closed　her　eyes　as　tightly　as　she　could。　
　They　came：　silken　feathers；　smooth　cold　beaks　ticking；　prying；　searching；　claws　scrabbling　gently；　then　not　so　gently；　but　still　not　drawing　blood；　swarming　around　her　almost　as　if　they　were　hungry　rats；　swirling；　darting；　fluttering；　squirming　along　her　back　and　legs；　between　her　thighs；　up　along　her　torso；　trying　to　get　between　his　face　and　her　bosom；　where　they　could　tear　and　gouge；　batting　against　her　head；　and　always　the　shrieking；　as　shrill　as　the　cries　of　madwomen　in　a　psychopathic　fury；　screaming　in　her　cars；　wordless　demands　for　blood；　blood；　blood；　and　then　she　felt　a　sharp　pain　in　her　arm　as　one　of　the　flock　ripped　open　her　sleeve　and　pinched　skin　with　it。　
　〃No！〃　cloud　of　other　birds；　a　mass　of　dark　bodies　and　wings；　perhaps　two　hundred　of　them　high　overhead。　
　She　glanced　at　Henry　Ironheart。　The　birds　had　drawn　blood　from　one　of　his　hands。　Having　huddled　back　into　his　chair　during　the　attack；　he　now　leaned　forward　again；　reached　out　with　one　hand；　and　called　Jim's　name　pleadingly。　
　Holly　looked　down　into　Jim's　eyes　as　he　sat　on　the　bench　in　front　of　her　and　still　he　was　not　there。　He　was　in　the　mill；　most　likely；　on　the　night　of　the　storm；　looking　at　his　grandmother　just　one　second　before　the　fall；　frozen　at　that　moment　in　time；　unable　to　advance　the　memory…film　one　more　frame。　
　The　birds　were　ing。　
　They　were　still　far　away；　just　under　the　cloud　cover；　but　there　were　so　many　of　them　now　that　the　thunder　of　their　wings　carried　a　greater　distance。　Their　shrieks　were　like　the　voices　of　the　damned。　
　〃Jim；　you　can　take　the　path　that　Larry　Kakoni