time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第123部分

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　　〃Possibly；　Theodore；　but　I　have　limits　on　what　I　will　do；　no　matter　how　much　I　want　to。　Do　you　want　to　know　my　limits？〃
　　
　　〃If　you　want　me　to　know；　you'll　tell　me。　If　you　don't；　you　won't。〃　…
　　
　　〃I　want　you　to　know；　beloved　Theodore。　I　would　like　to　strip　naked　this　very　moment。　I　refrain　only　for　practical　reasons…not　moral　ones　and　not　shyness；　I　want　to　give　you　my　body；　let　you　enjoy　it　any　way　you　please…while　I　enjoy　yours。　There　are　no　limits　to　what　I　want　to　do　with　you
　　
　　but　only　to　what　I　will　do。
　　
　　〃First〃…she　ticked　them　off…〃I　will　not　risk　being　pregnant　by　any　man　but　Brian。　Second；　I　will　not　knowingly　risk　the　well…being　of　my　husband　and　children。〃　…
　　
　　〃Weren't　you　risking　that　tonight？〃
　　
　　〃Was　I；　Theodore？〃
　　
　　Lazarus　thought　about　it。　Pregnancy？　Not　a　factor。　Disease？　She　apparently　trusted　him　on　that…and　Yes；　darling；　you　are　right。　I　don't　know　why　you　hold　that　opinion　of　me；　but　you're　right。　What　does　that　leave？　A　chance　of　scandal　if　we　had　been　caught。　…How　much　chance？　Very　little；　it's　as　safe　a　spot　as　one　could　wish。　Cops？　Lazarus　doubted　that　police　ever　checked　that　spot…and　doubted　still　~more　strongly　that　a　policeman；　in　the　present　war　fever；　would　tell　a　soldier　in　uniform　more　than　〃Break　it　up　and　move　on。〃
　　
　　〃No；　my　darling；　you　took　no　risks。　Uh；　if　I　had　asked　you　to　undress　pletely；　would　you　have　done　so？〃
　　
　　Her　laugh　rang　like　chimes。　Then　she　answered　in　her　controlled　pitch　more　private　than　a　whisper。　〃I　thought　about　that　yself　sweet　for　you；　Theodore。　It　was　a　delightfully　tempting　…　idea；　Brian　has　had　me　do　so　outdoors　oftener　than　that　once。　It　excites　me；　and　he　says　that　makes　me　more　fun　for　him。　But　that's　a　risk　he　chooses　to　take；　so　it　worries　me　not　at　all…with　him。　But　I　did　not　think　it　fair　to　him　to　take　that　risk　on　my　own。　So　I　firmly　resolved；　with　my　nipples　crinkled　up　as　hard　as　you　felt　them…hard　as　they　are　now；　I'm　terribly　excited…I　resolved　not　only　nOt　to　undress　but　not　to　let　you　do　so。　Dear；　will　you　go　pay　for…　another　pony　ride？　Or　fetch　him　if　he's　tired　of　that？〃
　　
　　Lazarus　found　that　Woodie　wanted　another　ride。　He　paid　and　went　back　to　the　bench；　found　Maureen　staring　down　a　lonely　soldier。　Lazarus　touched　his　sleeve。　〃On　your　way；　Private。〃
　　
　　The　soldier　looked　around；　ready　to　argue…looked　again　and　said；　〃Oh。　Sorry；　Sergeant。　No　offense　meant。〃
　　
　　〃And　none　taken。　Better　luck　elsewhere。〃　…
　　
　　Maureen　said；　〃I　hate　to　snub　a　boy　in　uniform；　even　when　I　must。　He　wasn't　fresh　to　me；　Theodore…he　was　just　exploring　the　chances。　I　must　be　twice　his　age　and　was　tempted　to　tell　him　so。　But　it　would　have　hurt　his　feelings。〃
　　
　　〃The　trouble　is　that　you　look　eighteen；　so　they're　certain　to　？ry。〃
　　
　　〃Darling；　I　do　not　look　eighteen。　Me　with　a　daughter　over　seventeen？　If　Nancy　marries　her　young　man　before　he　goes　to　war…she　wants　to；　and　Brian　and　1　won't　stop　it…I'll　be　a　grandmother　this　ing　year。〃
　　
　　〃Hi；　Grandmaw。〃
　　
　　〃Tease。　I　will　enjoy　being　a　grandmother。〃
　　
　　543
　　
　　544〃I'm　certain　you　will；　dear；　I　think　you　have　great　capacity　for　enjoying　life。〃　（As　1　do；　Mama！…and　now　I　feel　sure　I　got　it　both　fimom　you　and　Pop。）
　　
　　〃I　do；　Theodore。〃　She　smiled。　〃Even　when　frustrated。　Very。〃
　　
　　第77节
　　
　　〃Me；　too…very。　But　we　were　talking　about　how　old　you　look。　Eighteen；　that　is。〃　…
　　
　　…　〃Pooh；　You　noticed　how　broken　down　and　ba~by…chewed　my　breasts　are。〃　…
　　
　　〃I　noticed　nothing　of　the　sort。〃
　　
　　〃Then　you　have　no　sense　of　touch；　sir　。　。　for　you　handled　them　quite　thoroughly。〃
　　
　　〃Excellent　sense　of　touch。　Lovely　breasts；〃
　　
　　〃Theodore；　I　try　to　take　care　of；　them。　But　they've　been　filled　with　milk　much　of　the　past　eighteen　years。　That　one〃…　she　nodded　toward　the　pony　ring…〃I　didn't　have　enough　milk　for　and　had　to　put　him　on　Eagle　Brand；　and　he　resented　it。　When　I　had　Richard　two　years　later；　Woodrow　tried　to　crowd　out　the　new　baby　and　take　my　freshened　breasts。　I　had　to　be　firm…when　what　I　wanted　was　to　have　one　at　each　breast。　But　one　must　be　fair　to　children；　not　spoil　one　at　the　expense　of　another。〃　She　smiled　indulgently。　〃I　have　no　sense　about　Woodrow；　so　I　must　follow　my　rules　to　the　letter。　e　back　in　a　year；　Theodore；　and　they　won't　seem　so　broken　down。　They　swell　out　and　make　me　look　like　a　cow。〃
　　
　　〃Will　you　make　it　worth　my　while？〃
　　
　　〃By　a　walnut　tree？　Probably　no　chance；　dear　one。　I'm　afraid　my　scamp　killed　鄒r　one　chance。〃　…
　　
　　〃Oh；　it　wouldn't　take　that　much　to　make　it　worthwhile。　I　was　thinking　of　a　taste…direct　from　producer　to　consumer。〃　（Mama　Maureen；　as　Galahad　says　and　I've　never　argued；　I'm　the　most　tit…happy　man　in　the　Galaxy　。　。　and　I'm　staring　at　the　spot　where　I　acquired　the　habit。　I　wish　I　could　tell　you　so。
　　
　　Darling。）…
　　
　　She　looked　startled；　snorted；　and　looked　delighted。　〃That　might　be　almost　as　hard　to　arrange　as　a　walnut　tree。　But…　Yes　if　it　can　be　done　without　shocking　my　children。　You　are　a　scamp；　too…just　like　Woodrow。　I　know　I　would　enjoy　it。　Because…this　is　secret；　dear…Brian　has　tasted　each　new　freshening。　Claims　solemnly　that　he's　checking　quality　and　butterfat　content。〃
　　
　　（Pop；　you're　a　man　of　good　taste！）　〃Does　he　ever　find　that　one　has　a　taste　different　from　the　other？〃　……
　　
　　She　chuckled　happily。　〃Dear　one；　you　have　so　many　playful…
　　
　　…quirks…　just　like　my　husband　…that　you　m…ake　me　feel　bigamous。　He　claims　so；　but　it's　just　more　of　his　joking。　1。　can't　tell　any　difference…and　I've　tasted。〃　…　…
　　
　　〃Madam；　I　look　forsvard　to　giving　you　an　expert's　opinion。　I　think　our　cowboy　has　worn　out　his　pony。　What　next？　Want　to　try　the　Ben　Hur　Racer？〃
　　
　　She　shook　her　head。　〃I　enjoy　roller　coasters　but　won't　go　on　one　now。　I've　never　miscarried；　Theodore；　and　never　will　if　being　careful　will　keep　me　from　it。　Take　Woodrow　if　you　like。〃
　　
　　〃No。　You　would　have　to　wait…and　these　woods　are　filled　with　wolves　in　khaki　anxious　to　pick　up　eighteen…year…old　grandmothers。　The　Fun　House？〃
　　
　　〃All　right。〃　Then　her　mouth　twitched。　〃No；　I　forgot　something。　Those　blasts　of　air　up　from　the　floor…intended…to　make　girls　squeal　and　clutch　their　skirts。　Which　I　don't　mind　but…　no　bloomers；　dear。　Unless　you　want　everyone　to　see　whether　or　not　I'm　truly　a　redhead。〃
　　
　　〃Are　you？〃
　　
　　She　smiled；　unoffended。　〃Tease。　Don't　you　know？〃
　　
　　〃It　was　very　dark　near　that　walnut　tree。〃
　　
　　〃Redhead　at　both　ends；　Theodore。　As　I　would　happily　show　you　were　it　not　for　the…frustrating……circumstances。　Brian　asked　me　that　while　we　were　courting。　Teasing；　he　didn't　need　to　ask；…　I　was　covered　with　freckles　then；　just　like　Marie。　I　let　him　find　out　for　himself　on　a　grassy　spot　by　the　Marais　des　Cygnes　River　while　a　gentle　old　mare　named　'Daisy'　cropped　grass　and　paid　no　attention　to　my　happy　squeals。　I　suppose　the　automobile　is　here　to　stay…but　the　horse…and…buggy　had　many　advantages。　Didn't　you　find　it　so？　When　you　started　stepping　out　with　young　ladies？〃
　　
　　Lazarus　agreed　with　a　straight　face；　unable　to　admit　that　his　memories　did　not　include　1899　or　whatever　year…she　was　thinking　of。　Maureen　went　on；　〃I　used　to　fix　a　picnic　lunch　and　take　a　blanket　to　…　eat　on。　That　was　one　way　a　girl　of　courting　age　could　be　unchaperoned　as　long　as　I　was　home　before　dark。　A　horse　can　take　a　buggy　into　spots　even　more　private　than　our　walnut　tree。　Truthfully；　despite　this　modern　talk　about　'wild…　women'　and　morals　breaking　down；　I　had　more　freedom　as　a　girl　than　my　daughters　do。　Although　I　try　not　to　make　my　chaperonage　oppressive。〃
　　
　　〃They　don't　seem　oppressed。　~'m　sure　they're　happy。〃
　　
　　〃Theodore；　I　would　much　rather　have　my　children　be　happy　than　…what　our　pastor　gays　is　'moral。'　I　simply　want　to　be　sure　they　aren't　hurt。　I　…　am　not　'moral'　by　the　accepted　rules…as
　　
　　………545
　　
　　546you　know　quite　well。　Though'　not　as　well　as　I　had　hoped　you　would　know　it；　and　I'm　taking　out　my　frustration　in　talking　about　it。　Perhaps　you　would　rather　I　did　not？〃
　　
　　〃Maureen；　since　we　can't　do　it；　the　next　best　thing　is　talking　about　it。〃
　　
　　〃Me；　too；　Theodore。　I　wish　I　were　covered　with　chigger　bites　and　my　soul　filled　with　the　peace　I　know　you　could　give　me。　Since　I　can't　give　myself　to　you　the　way　I　had　hoped；　I　want　you　to　know　me　as　deeply　as　words　can　bring　us　together　。　。　as　deeply　as　I　wish　you　were　in　my　body　this　very　instant。　Does　my　frankness　shock　you？〃
　　
　　〃No。　But　it　might　get　you　raped　right　on　this　bench！〃
　　
　　〃Please；　not　so　mUch　enthusiasm；　dear　one；　people　can　see　us…we're　talking　about　the　weather。　Tell　me；　is　your　thing　hard？〃
　　
　　〃Does　it　show？〃
　　
　　〃No；　but　if　it　is；　think　about　blizzards　and　icebergs…v…Brian　says　that　helps…because　our　pony　rider　needs　to　be　lifted　down。〃　…
　　
　　They　played　both　games　for　prizes；　then　Mrs。　Smith　decided　that　she　could　risk　the　Fun　House　if　she　clutched　her　skirts　as　if　crossing　a　muddy　street。　Woodie　enjoyed　it；　especially　the　Hall　of　Mirrors　and　the　Crystal　Maze。　Maureen　avoided　air　blasts　by　watching　girls　ahead　of　them；　then　either　walked　on　one　side　or　held　her　skirts　firmly；
　　
　　Woodie　tired　himself　out；　so　Lazarus　picked　him　up　and　he　seemed　to　fall　asleep　as　his　head　touched　Lazarus'　shoulder。　They　started　to　leave；　which　took　them　over　the　farewell　air　blast。　Mrs。　Smith　was　ahead　and　Lazarus　assumed　that　she　had　it　spotted　from　the　way　she　swerved…then　she　turned　as　if　to　speak　to　him；　and　stood　over　it。　Her　skirts　went　flying　high。
　　
　　She　did　not　squeal；　she　simply　pushed　them　down　a　split　second　too　late。　Once　they　were　outside　she　said；　〃Well；　sir？〃
　　
　　〃Same　color。　But　curly；　I　think。〃
　　
　　〃Quite。　As　curly　as　my　other　hair　is　straight。　As　you　already　knew。〃
　　
　　〃And　you　did　it　on　purpose。〃
　　
　　〃Certainly。　Woodrow　is　asleep　and　you　had　his　head　turned　away。　Perhaps　some　stranger　got　an　eyeful；　but　I　think　not。　If　someone　did；　what　can　he　do？　Write　a　letter　to　my　husband？　Pooh。　There　was　no　one　in　there　who　knows　us；　I　kej*　my　eyes　open。　And　grabbed　the