the hunger games-饥饿游戏(英文版)-第52部分
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can hear the crowdˇs confusion whose head will he place it on？ until President Snow gives it a twist and it separates into two halves。 He places the first around Peetaˇs brow with a smile。 Heˇs still smiling when he settles the second on my head； but his eyes； just inches from mine； are as unforgiving as a snakeˇs。
Thatˇs when I know that even though both of us would have eaten the berries； I am to blame for having the idea。 Iˇm the instigator。 Iˇm the one to be punished。
Much bowing and cheering follows。 My arm is about to fall off from waving when Caesar Flickerman finally bids the audience good night； reminding them to tune in tomorrow for the final interviews。 As if they have a choice。
Peeta and I are whisked to the presidentˇs mansion for the Victory Banquet； where we have very little time to eat as Capitol officials and particularly generous sponsors elbow one another out of the way as they try to get their picture with us。 Face after beaming face flashes by； being increasingly intoxicated as the evening wears on。 Occasionally； I catch a glimpse of Haymitch； which is reassuring； or President Snow； which is terrifying； but I keep laughing and thanking people and smiling as my picture is taken。 The one thing I never do is let go of Peetaˇs hand。
The sun is just peeking over the horizon when we straggle back to the twelfth floor of the Training Center。 I think now Iˇll finally get a word alone with Peeta； but Haymitch sends him off with Portia to get something fitted for the interview and personally escorts me to my door。
¨Why canˇt I talk to him？〃 I ask。
¨Plenty of time for talk when we get home；〃 says Haymitch。 ¨Go to bed； youˇre on air at two。〃
Despite Haymitchˇs running interference； Iˇm determined to see Peeta privately。 After I toss and turn for a few hours； I slip into the hall。 My first thought is to check the roof； but itˇs empty。 Even the city streets far below are deserted after the celebration last night。 I go back to bed for a while and then decide to go directly to his room； but when I try to turn the knob； I find my own bedroom door has been locked from the outside。 I suspect Haymitch initially； but then thereˇs a more insidious fear that the Capitol may by monitoring and confining me。 Iˇve been unable to escape since the Hunger Games began； but this feels different； much more personal。 This feels like Iˇve been imprisoned for a crime and Iˇm awaiting sentencing。 I quickly get back in bed and pretend to sleep until Effie Trinket es
to alert me to the start of another ¨big； big； big day！〃
I have about five minutes to eat a bowl of hot grain and stew before the prep team descends。 All I have to say is； ¨The crowd loved you！〃 and itˇs unnecessary to speak for the next couple of hours。 When Cinna es in； he shoos them out and dresses me in a white； gauzy dress and pink shoes。 Then he personally adjusts my makeup until I seem to radiate a soft； rosy glow。 We make idle chitchat； but Iˇm afraid to ask him anything of real importance because after the incident with the door； I canˇt shake the feeling that Iˇm being watched constantly。
The interview takes place right down the hall in the sitting room。 A space has been cleared and the love seat has been moved in and surrounded by vases of red and pink roses。 There are only a handful of cameras to record the event。 No live audience at least。
Caesar Flickerman gives me a warm hug when I。 e in。 ¨Congratulations； Katniss。 How are you faring？〃
¨Fine。 Nervous about the interview；〃 I say。
¨Donˇt be。 Weˇre going to have a fabulous time；〃 he says； giving my cheek a reassuring pat。
¨Iˇm not good at talking about myself；〃 I say。
¨Nothing you say will be wrong；〃 he says。
And I think； Oh； Caesar； if only that were true。 But actually； President Snow may be arranging some sort of ¨accident〃 for me as we speak。
Then Peetaˇs there looking handsome in red and white； pulling me off to the side。 ¨I hardly get to see you。 Haymitch seems bent on keeping us apart。〃
Haymitch is actually bent on keeping us alive； but there are too many ears listening； so I just say； ¨Yes； heˇs gotten very responsible lately。〃
¨Well； thereˇs just this and we go home。 Then he canˇt watch us all the time；〃 says Peeta。
I feel a sort of shiver run through me and thereˇs no time to analyze why； because theyˇre ready for us。 We sit somewhat formally on the love seat； but Caesar says； ¨Oh； go ahead and curl up next to him if you want。 It looked very sweet。〃 So I tuck my feet up and Peeta pulls me in close to him。
Someone counts backward and just like that； weˇre being broadcast live to the entire country。 Caesar Flickerman is wonderful； teasing； joking； getting choked up when the occasion presents itself。 He and Peeta already have the rapport they established that night of the first interview； that easy banter； so I just smile a lot and try to speak as little as possible。 I mean； I have to talk some； but as soon as I can I redirect the conversation back to Peeta。
Eventually though； Caesar begins to pose questions that insist on fuller answers。 ¨Well； Peeta； we know； from our days in the cave； that it was love at first sight for you from what； age five？〃 Caesar says。
¨From the moment I laid eyes on her；〃 says Peeta。
¨But； Katniss； what a ride for you。 I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him。 When did you realize you were in love with him？〃 asks Caesar。
¨Oh； thatˇs a hard one 。 。 。〃 I give a faint； breathy laugh and look down at my hands。 Help。
¨Well； I know when it hit me。 The night when you shouted out his name from that tree；〃 says Caesar。
Thank you； Caesar！ I think； and then go with his idea。 ¨Yes； I guess that was it。 I mean； until that point； I just tried not to think about what my feelings might be； honestly； because it was so confusing and it only made things worse if I actually cared about him。 But then； in the tree； everything changed；〃 I say。
¨Why do you think that was？〃 urges Caesar。
¨Maybe 。 。 。 because for the first time 。 。 。 there was a chance I could keep him；〃 I say。
Behind a cameraman； I see Haymitch give a sort of huff with relief and I know Iˇve said the right thing。 Caesar pulls out a handkerchief and has to take a moment because heˇs so moved。 I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks； ¨So now that youˇve got me； what are you going to do with me？〃
I turn in to him。 ¨Put you somewhere you canˇt get hurt。〃 And when he kisses me； people in the room actually sigh。
For Caesar； this is a natural place to segue into all the ways we did get hurt in the arena； from burns； to stings； to wounds。 But itˇs not until we get around to the mutts that I forget Iˇm on camera。 When Caesar asks Peeta how his ¨new leg〃 is working out。
¨New leg？〃 I say； and I canˇt help reaching out and pulling up the bottom of Peetaˇs pants。 ¨Oh； no；〃 I whisper； taking in the metal…and…plastic device that has replaced his flesh。
¨No one told you？〃 asks Caesar gently。 I shake my head。
¨I havenˇt had the chance；〃 says Peeta with a slight shrug。
¨Itˇs my fault；〃 I say。 ¨Because I used that tourniquet。〃
¨Yes； itˇs your fault Iˇm alive；〃 says Peeta。
¨Heˇs right；〃 says Caesar。 ¨Heˇd have bled to death for sure without it。〃
I guess this is true； but I canˇt help feeling upset about it to the extent that Iˇm afraid I might cry and then I remember everyone in the country is watching me so I just bury my face in Peetaˇs shirt。 It takes them a couple of minutes to coax me back out because itˇs better in the shirt； where no one can see me； and when I do e out； Caesar backs off questioning me so I can recover。 In fact； he pretty much leaves me alone until the berries e up。
¨Katniss； I know youˇve had a shock； but Iˇve got to ask。 The moment when you pulled out those berries。 What was going on in your mind 。 。 。 hm？〃 he says。
I take a long pause before I answer； trying to collect my thoughts。 This is the crucial moment where I either challenged the Capitol or went so crazy at the idea of losing Peeta that I canˇt be held responsible for my actions。 It seems to call for a big； dramatic speech； but all I get out is one almost inaudible sentence。 ¨I donˇt know； I just 。 。 。 couldnˇt bear the thought of 。 。 。 being without him。〃
¨Peeta？ Anything to add？〃 asks Caesar。
¨No。 I think that goes for both of us；〃 he says。
Caesar signs off and itˇs over。 Everyoneˇs laughing and crying and hugging； but Iˇm still not sure until I reach Haymitch。 ¨Okay？〃 I whisper。
¨Perfect；〃 he answers。
I go back to my room to collect a few things and find thereˇs nothing to take but the mockingjay pin Madge gave me。 Someone returned it to my room after the Games。 They drive us through the streets in a car with blackened windows； and the trainˇs waiting for us。 We barely have time to say good…bye to Cinna and Portia； although weˇll see them in a few months； when we tour the districts for a round of victory ceremonies。 Itˇs the Capitolˇs way of reminding people that the Hunger Games never really go away。 Weˇll be given a lot of useless plaques； and everyone will have to pretend they love us。
The train begins moving and weˇre plunged into night until we clear the tunnel and I take my first free breath since the reaping。 Effie is acpanying us back and Haymitch； too； of course。 We eat an enormous dinner and settle into silence in front of the television to watch a replay of the interview。 With the Capitol growing farther away every second； I begin to think of home。 Of Prim and my mother。 Of Gale。 I excuse myself to change out of my dress and into a plain shirt and pants。 As I slowly； thoroughly wash the makeup from my face and put my hair in its braid； I begin transforming back into myself。 Katniss Everdeen。 A girl who lives in the Seam。 Hunts in the woods。 Trades in the Hob。 I stare in the mirror as I try to remember who I am and who I am not。 By the time I join theothers； the pressure of Peetaˇs arm around my shoulders feels alien。
When the train makes a brief stop for fuel； weˇre allowed to go outside for some fresh air。 Thereˇs no longer any need to guard us。 Peeta and I walk down along the track； hand in hand； and I canˇt find anythi
