红字-the scarlet letter(英文版)-第26部分
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the lowest； him； the man of etherealattributes； whose voice the angels might else have listened to andanswered！ But this very burden it was； that gave him sympathies sointimate with the sinful brotherhood of mankind； so that his heartvibrated in unison with theirs； and received their pain into itself；and sent its own throb of pain through a thousand other hearts； ingushes of sad； persuasive eloquence。 Oftenest persuasive； butsometimes terrible！ The people knew not the power that moved themthus。 They deemed the young clergyman a miracle of holiness。 Theyfancied him the mouthpiece of Heaven's messages of wisdom； and rebuke；and love。 In their eyes； the very ground on which he trod wassanctified。 The virgins of his church grew pale around him； victims ofa passion so imbued with religious sentiment that they imagined itto be all religion； and brought it openly； in their white bosoms； astheir most acceptable sacrifice before the altar。 The aged membersof his flock； beholding Mr。 Dimmesdale's frame so feeble； while theywere themselves so rugged in their infirmity； believed that he wouldgo heavenward before them； and enjoined it upon their children； thattheir old bones should be buried close to their young pastor's holygrave。 And； all this time； perchance； when poor Mr。 Dimmesdale wasthinking of his grave； he questioned with himself whether the grasswould ever grow on it； because an accursed thing must there be buried！ It is inconceivable； the agony with which this public venerationtortured him！ It was his genuine impulse to adore the truth； and toreckon all things shadow…like； and utterly devoid of weight orvalue； that had not its divine essence as the life within theirlife。 Then； what was he？… a substance？… or the dimmest of all shadows？He longed to speak out； from his own pulpit； at the full height of hisvoice； and tell the people what he was。 〃I； whom you behold in theseblack garments of the priesthood… I； who ascend the sacred desk； andturn my pale face heavenward； taking upon myself to hold munion； inyour behalf； with the Most High Omniscience… I； in whose daily lifeyou discern the sanctity of Enoch… I； whose footsteps； as you suppose；leave a gleam along my earthly track； whereby the pilgrims thatshall e after me may be guided to the regions of the blest… I；who have laid the hand of baptism upon your children… I； who havebreathed the parting prayer over your dying friends； to whom theAmen sounded faintly from a world which they had quitted… I； yourpastor； whom you so reverence and trust； am utterly a pollution anda lie！〃 More than once； Mr。 Dimmesdale had gone into the pulpit； with apurpose never to e down its steps； until he should have spokenwords like the above。 More than once； he had cleared his throat； anddrawn in the long； deep； and tremulous breath； which； when sentforth again； would e burdened with the black secret of his soul。More than once… nay； more than a hundred times… he had actuallyspoken！ Spoken！ But how？ He had told his hearers that he wasaltogether vile； a viler panion of the vilest； the worst ofsinners； an abomination； a thing of unimaginable iniquity； and thatthe only wonder was； that they did not see his wretched bodyshrivelled up before their eyes； by the burning wrath of the Almighty！Could there be plainer speech than this？ Would not the people start upin their seats； by a simultaneous impulse； and tear him down out ofthe pulpit which he defiled？ Not so； indeed！ They heard it all； anddid but reverence him the more。 They little guessed what deadlypurport lurked in those self…condemning words。 〃The godly youth！〃 saidthey among themselves。 〃The saint on earth！ Alas； if he discern suchsinfulness in his own white soul； what horrid spectacle would hebehold in thine or mine！〃 The minister well knew… subtle； butremorseless hypocrite that he was！… the light in which his vagueconfession would be viewed。 He had striven to put a cheat upon himselfby making the avowal of a guilty conscience； but had gained only oneother sin； and a self…acknowledged shame； without the momentary reliefof being self…deceived。 He had spoken the very truth； andtransformed it into the veriest falsehood。 And yet； by theconstitution of his nature； he loved the truth； and loathed the lie；as few men ever did。 Therefore； above all things else； he loathedhis miserable self！ His inward trouble drove him to practices more in accordance withthe old； corrupted faith of Rome； than with the better light of theChurch in which he had been born and bred。 In Mr。 Dimmesdale'ssecret closet； under lock and key； there was a bloody scourge。Oftentimes； this Protestant and Puritan divine had plied it on his ownshoulders； laughing bitterly at himself the while； and smiting so muchthe more pitilessly because of that bitter laugh。 It was his custom；too； as it has been that of many other pious Puritans； to fast… not；however； like them； in order to purify the body and render it thefitter medium of celestial illumination； but rigorously； and until hisknees trembled beneath him； as an act of penance。 He kept vigils；likewise； night after night； sometimes in utter darkness； sometimeswith a glimmering lamp； and sometimes； viewing his own face in alooking…glass； by the most powerful light which he could throw uponit。 He thus typified the constant introspection wherewith he tortured；but could not purify； himself。 In these lengthened vigils； his brainoften reeled； and visions seemed to flit before him； perhaps seendoubtfully； and by a faint light of their own； in the remote dimnessof the chamber； or more vividly； and close beside him； within thelooking…glass。 Now it was a herd of diabolic shapes； that grinnedand mocked at the pale minister； and beckoned him away with them；now a group of shining angels； who flew upward heavily； assorrow…laden； but grew more ethereal as they rose。 Now came the deadfriends of his youth； and his white…bearded father； with asaint…like frown； and his mother； turning her face away as shepassed by。 Ghost of a mother… thinnest fantasy of a mother… methinksshe might yet have thrown a pitying glance towards her son！ And now；through the chamber which these spectral thoughts had made so ghastly；glided Hester Prynne； leading along little Pearl； in her scarlet garb；and pointing her forefinger； first at the scarlet letter on her bosom；and then at the clergyman's own breast。 None of these visions ever quite deluded him。 At any moment； by aneffort of his will； he could discern substances through their mistylack of substance； and convince himself that they were not solid intheir nature； like yonder table of carved oak； or that big； square；leathern…bound and brazen…clasped volume of divinity。 But； for allthat； they were； in one sense； the truest and most substantialthings which the poor minister now dealt with。 It is the unspeakablemisery of a life so false as his； that it steals the pith andsubstance out of whatever realities there are around us； and whichwere meant by Heaven to be the spirit's joy and nutriment。 To theuntrue man； the whole universe is false… it is impalpable… it shrinksto nothing within his grasp。 And he himself； in so far as he showshimself in a false light； bees a shadow； or； indeed； ceases toexist。 The only truth that continued to give Mr。 Dimmesdale a realexistence on this earth； was the anguish in his inmost soul； and theundissembled expression of it in his aspect。 Had he once found powerto smile； and wear a face of gaiety； there would have been no suchman！ On one of those ugly nights； which we have faintly hinted at； butforborne to picture forth； the minister started from his chair。 Anew thought had struck him。 There might be a moment's peace in it。Attiring himself with as much care as if it had been for publicworship； and precisely in the same manner； he stole softly down thestaircase； undid the door； and issued forth。 XII。 THE MINISTER'S VIGIL。 WALKING in the shadow of a dream； as it were； and perhaps actuallyunder the influence of a species of somnambulism； Mr Dimmesdalereached the spot； where； now so long since； Hester Prynne had livedthrough her first hours of public ignominy。 The same platform orscaffold； black and weather…stained with the storm or sunshine ofseven long years； and foot…worn； too； with the tread of manyculprits who had since ascended it； remained standing beneath thebalcony of the meeting…house。 The minister went up the steps。 It was an obscure night of early May。 An unvaried pall of cloudmuffled the whole expanse of sky from zenith to horizon。 If the samemultitude which had stood as eye…witnesses while Hester Prynnesustained her punishment could now have been summoned forth； theywould have discerned no face above the platform； nor hardly theoutline of a human shape； in the dark grey of the midnight。 But thetown was all asleep。 There was no peril of discovery。 The ministermight stand there； if it so pleased him； until morning should reddenin the east； without other risk than that the dank and chill night…airwould creep into his frame； and stiffen his joints with rheumatism；and clog his throat with catarrh and cough； thereby defrauding theexpectant audience of to…morrow's prayer and sermon。 No eye couldsee him； save that ever…wakeful one which had seen him in hiscloset； wielding the bloody scourge。 Why； then； had he e hither？Was it but the mockery of penitence？ A mockery； indeed； but in whichhis soul trifled with itself！ A mockery at which angels blushed andwept； while fiends rejoiced； with jeering laughter！ He had been drivenhither by the impulse of that Remorse which dogged him everywhere； andwhose own sister and closely linked panion was that Cowardice whichinvariably drew him back； with her tremulous gripe； just when theother impulse had hurried him to the verge of a disclosure。 Poor；miserable man！ what right had infirmity like his to burden itself withcrime？ Crime is for the iron…nerved； who have their choice either toendure it； or； if it press too hard； to exert their fierce andsavage strength for a good purpose； and fling it off at once！ Thisfeeble and most sensitive of spirits could do neither； yet continuallydid one thing or another； which intertwined； in the sameinextricable knot； the agony of heaven…defying guilt and vainrepentance。 And thus； while standing on the sca
