红字-the scarlet letter(英文版)-第35部分
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leaves； anddied there； at Arthur Dimmesdale's feet。 〃O Arthur；〃 cried she； 〃forgive me！ In all things else； I havestriven to be true！ Truth was the one virtue which I might have heldfast； and did hold fast； through all extremity； save when thy good…thy life thy fame… were put in question！ Then I consented to adeception。 But a lie is never good； even though death threaten onthe other side！ Dost thou not see what I would say？ That old man！… thephysician！… he whom they call Roger Chillingworth！… he was myhusband！〃 The minister looked at her； for an instant； with all that violenceof passion； which… intermixed； in more shapes than one； with hishigher； purer； softer qualities… was； in fact； the portion of himwhich the Devil claimed； and through which he sought to win therest。 Never was there a blacker or a fiercer frown than Hester nowencountered。 For the brief space that it lasted； it was a darktransfiguration。 But his character had been so much enfeebled bysuffering； that even its lower energies were incapable of more thana temporary struggle。 He sank down on the ground； and buried hisface in his hands。 〃I might have known it；〃 murmured he。 〃I did know it！ Was not thesecret told me； in the natural recoil of my heart； at the firstsight of him； and as often as I have seen him since？ Why did I notunderstand？ O Hester Prynne； thou little； little knowest all thehorror of this thing！ And the shame！… the indelicacy！… the horribleugliness of this exposure of a sick and guilty heart to the very eyethat would gloat over it？ Woman； woman； thou are accountable for this！I cannot forgive thee！〃 〃Thou shalt forgive me！〃 cried Hester； flinging herself on thefallen leaves beside him。 〃Let God punish！ Thou shalt forgive！〃 With sudden and desperate tenderness； she threw her arms around him；and pressed his head against her bosom； little caring though his cheekrested on the scarlet letter。 He would have released himself； butstrove in vain to do so。 Hester would not set him free； lest he shouldlook her sternly in the face。 All the world had frowned on her… forseven long years had it frowned upon this lonely woman… and stillshe bore it all； nor ever once turned away her firm； sad eyes。 Heaven；likewise； had frowned upon her； and she had not died。 But the frown ofthis pale； weak； sinful； and sorrow…stricken man was what Hester couldnot bear； and live！ 〃Wilt thou yet forgive me？〃 she repeated； over and over again。 〃Wiltthou not frown？ Wilt thou forgive？〃 〃I do forgive you； Hester；〃 replied the minister； at length； witha deep utterance； out of an abyss of sadness； but no anger。 〃Ifreely forgive you now。 May God forgive us both！ We are not； Hester；the worst sinners in the world。 There is one worse than even thepolluted priest！ That old man's revenge has been blacker than mysin。 He has violated； in cold blood； the sanctity of a human heart。Thou and I； Hester； never did so！〃 〃Never； never！〃 whispered she。 〃What we did had a consecration ofits own。 We felt it so！ We said so to each other！ Hast thouforgotten it？〃 〃Hush； Hester！〃 said Arthur Dimmesdale； rising from the ground。 〃No；I have not forgotten！〃 They sat down again； side by side； and hand clasped in hand； onthe mossy trunk of the fallen tree。 Life had never brought them agloomier hour； it was the point whither their pathway had so long beentending； and darkening ever； as it stole along； and yet it encloseda charm that made them linger upon it； and claim another； and another；and； after all； another moment。 The forest was obscure around them；and creaked with a blast that was passing through it。 The boughswere tossing heavily above their heads； while one solemn old treegroaned dolefully to another； as if telling the sad story of thepair that sat beneath； or constrained to forbode evil to e。 And yet they lingered。 How dreary looked the forest…track that ledbackward to the settlement； where Hester Prynne must take up again theburden of her ignominy； and the minister the hollow mockery of hisgood name！ So they lingered an instant longer。 No golden light hadever been so precious as the gloom of this dark forest。 Here； seenonly by his eyes； the scarlet letter need not burn into the bosom ofthe fallen woman！ Here； seen only by her eyes； Arthur Dimmesdale；false to God and man； might be for one moment true！ He started at a thought that suddenly occurred to him。 〃Hester；〃 cried he； 〃here is a new horror！ Roger Chillingworth knowsyour purpose to reveal his true character。 Will he continue； then；to keep our secret？ What will now be the course of his revenge？〃 〃There is a strange secrecy in his nature；〃 replied Hesterthoughtfully； 〃and it has grown upon him by the hidden practices ofhis revenge。 I deem it not likely that he will betray the secret。 Hewill doubtless seek other means of satiating his dark passion。〃 〃And I！… how am I to live longer； breathing the same air with thisdeadly enemy？〃 exclaimed Arthur Dimmesdale； shrinking withinhimself； and pressing his hand nervously against his heart… agesture that had grown involuntary with him。 〃Think for me； Hester！Thou art strong。 Resolve for me！〃 〃Thou must dwell no longer with this man；〃 said Hester； slowly andfirmly。 〃Thy heart must be no longer under his evil eye！〃 〃It were far worse than death！〃 replied the minister。 〃But how toavoid it？ What choice remains to me？ Shall I lie down again on thesewithered leaves； where I cast myself when thou didst tell me what hewas？ Must I sink down there； and die at once？〃 〃Alas； what a ruin has befallen thee！〃 said Hester； with thetears； gushing into her eyes。 〃Wilt thou die for very weakness？There is no other cause！〃 〃The judgment of God is on me；〃 answered the conscience…strickenpriest。 〃It is too mighty for me to struggle with！〃 〃Heaven would show mercy；〃 rejoined Hester； 〃hadst thou but thestrength to take advantage of it。〃 〃Be thou strong for me！〃 answered he。 〃Advise me what to do。〃 〃Is the world； then； so narrow？〃 exclaimed Hester Prynne； fixing herdeep eyes on the minister's； and instinctively exercising a magicpower over a spirit so shattered and subdued that it could hardly holditself erect。 〃Doth the universe lie within the pass of yondertown； which only a little time ago was but a leaf…strewn desert； aslonely as this around us？ Whither leads yonder forest…track？Backward to the settlement； thou sayest！ Yes； but onward； too！Deeper it goes； and deeper； into the wilderness； less plainly to beseen at every step； until； some few miles hence； the yellow leaveswill show no vestige of the white man's tread。 There thou art free！ Sobrief a journey would bring thee from a world where thou hast beenmost wretched； to one where thou mayest still be happy！ Is there notshade enough in all this boundless forest to hide thy heart from thegaze of Roger Chillingworth？〃 〃Yes； Hester； but only under the fallen leaves！〃 replied theminister； with a sad smile。 〃Then there is the broad pathway of the sea！〃 continued Hester。〃It brought thee hither。 If thou so choose； it will bear thee backagain。 In our native land； whether in some remote rural village orin vast London… or； surely； in Germany； in France； in pleasantItaly… thou wouldst be beyond his power and knowledge！ And what hastthou to do with all these iron men； and their opinions？ They have keptthy better part in bondage too long already！〃 〃It cannot be！〃 answered the minister； listening as if he werecalled upon to realise a dream。 〃I am powerless to go！ Wretched andsinful as I am； I have had no other thought than to drag on my earthlyexistence in the sphere where Providence hath placed me。 Lost as myown soul is； I would still do what I may for other human souls！ I darenot quit my post； though an unfaithful sentinel； whose sure rewardis death and dishonour； when his dreary watch shall e to an end！〃 〃Thou art crushed under this seven years' weight of misery；〃 repliedHester； fervently resolved to buoy him up with her own energy。 〃Butthou shalt leave it all behind thee！ It shall not cumber thy steps； asthou treadest along the forest…path； neither shalt thou freight theship with it； if thou prefer to cross the sea。 Leave this wreck andruin here where it hath happened。 Meddle no more with it！ Begin allanew！ Hast thou exhausted possibility in the failure of this orial？ Not so！ The future is yet full of trial and success。 There ishappiness to be enjoyed！ There is good to be done！ Exchange this falselife of thine for a true one。 Be； if thy spirit summon thee to sucha mission； the teacher and apostle of the red men。 Or… as is morethy nature… be a scholar and a sage among the wisest and the mostrenowned of the cultivated world。 Preach！ Write！ Act！ Do anything；save to lie down and die！ Give up this name of Arthur Dimmesdale；and make thyself another； and a high one； such as thou canst wearwithout fear or shame。 Why wouldst thou tarry so much as one other dayin the torments that have so gnawed into thy life！… that have madethee feeble to will and to do！… that will leave thee powerless even torepent！ Up； and away！〃 〃O Hester！〃 cried Arthur Dimmesdale； in whose eyes a fitful light；kindled by her enthusiasm； flashed up and died away； 〃thou tellestof running a race to a man whose knees are tottering beneath him！ Imust die here！ There is not the strength or courage left me to ventureinto the wide； strange； difficult world； alone！〃 It was the last expression of the despondency of a broken spirit。 Helacked energy to grasp the better fortune that seemed within hisreach。 He repeated the word。 〃Alone； Hester！〃 〃Thou shalt not go alone！〃 answered she； in a deep whisper。 Then； all was spoken！ XVIII。 A FLOOD OF SUNSHINE。 ARTHUR DIMMESDALE gazed into Hester's face with a look in which hopeand joy shone out； indeed； but with fear betwixt them； and a kind ofhorror at her boldness； who had spoken what he vaguely hinted at；but dared not speak。 But Hester Prynne； with a mind of native courage and activity； andfor so long a period not merely estranged； but outlawed； from society；had habituated herself to such latitude of speculation as wasaltogether foreign to the clergyman。 She had wandered； without rule orguidance； in a moral wilderness； as vast； as intricate and shadowy； asthe untamed forest； amid the gloom of which they were now holding acolloquy that was
