the days of my life-第24部分

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Pietermaritzburg；　Natal：
July　6；　1884。
My　dear　Haggard；　—　I　am　afraid　that　I　cannot　take　much　credit　to　myself　this　time　for　giving　you　practical　proof　that　I　think　of　you　by　writing　you　a　letter；　for　although　I　do　as　a　matter　of　fact　think　of　you　both；　almost　as　often　as　old　Polly　the　parrot　calls　me　a　“very　domde　Boer；”　an　expression　which　you　taught　the　bird　and　which　it　has　not　forgotten；　yet　this　is　essentially　a　selfish　letter　written　with　selfish　ends；　but　let　me　assure　you　that　it　is　nevertheless　leavened；　as　strongly　as　ever；　with　the　same　old　love。
The　fact　is　that　the　Treasury　at　Home　have　made　a　fierce　and　ungenerous　attack　on　my　Transvaal　accounts；　and　threaten　to　surcharge　me　with　all　items　to　the　extent　of　several　thousand　pounds　for　which　receipts　or　vouchers　of　some　sort　are　not　forthing。　Among　these　are　two　small　payments　to　you：　one　they　call　a　gratuity　of　25　pounds；　an　acknowledgment　of　your　services　to　the　mission　for　which　you　received　no　pay；　and　the　other　20　pounds　as　pensation　for　a　horse　that　died　on　your　journey　as　missioner　to　Sikukuni；　and　I　want　you　to　be　good　enough　to　send　a　certificate　acknowledging　the　payment　of　each　of　these　items　and　stating　that　you　signed　a　receipt　for　each　when　it　was　paid。　They　are　under　the　impression　that　Colonel　Brooke；　who　kept　the　accounts；　never　took　care　to　get　receipts：　the　fact　being　that　he　was　most　careful　on　this　point；　but　that　the　vouchers　and　some　of　the　accounts　also　were；　most　of　them；　lost　during　the　siege　of　Pretoria。
The　officers　of　the　Treasury　have　reflected　upon　my　personal　honesty；　and　Mr。　Courtney　has　amused　himself　by　writing　some　facetious　paragraphs；　this　has　of　course　furnished　more　or　less　amusing　reading　for　the　society　journals。　The　Colonial　Office　defended　me　very　vigorously；　but　I　have　strongly　resented　such　treatment　and　shown　the　injustice　and　untruthfulness　of　it；　or　any　foundation　for　it；　in　a　memo。　to　the　Secretary　of　State。　Meanwhile　the　Treasury　withhold　my　pension。
This　letter　is　horribly　egotistical　so　far；　but　I　could　not　help　it；　as　I　explained　on　the　first　page。
As　things　have　turned　out；　it　was　a　fortunate　thing　that　you　left　this　country　when　you　did。　Our　condition　as　Englishmen；　or　rather　the　condition　of　our　Government　in　regard　to　this　country；　reminds　me　strongly　of　the　craven　soldiers　under　Baker　Pasha　when　they　were　beaten　by　the　Arabs　at　Teb：　they　are　described　as　meekly　kneeling　to　meet　their　fate。　That　is　exactly　what　the　British　Government　have　been　doing；　since　Majuba；　in　Africa。　The　Boers　have　now　taken　possession　of　Central　Zululand；　and　they　are　quite　right　to　do　so。　The　Government　allowed　anarchy　to　run　rampant　on　their　＇the　Boer’s＇　border；　and　then　publicly　declared　in　the　House　of　mons　that　they　intended　to　leave　the　Zulus　to　settle　their　affairs　in　their　own　way；　and　they　called　in　the　Boers　to　settle　them　for　them　on　the　promise　of　giving　them　land。　They　have　made　the　boy　Dinizulu　king；　and　have　helped　the　Usutu　party　to　destroy　Sibelu；　who　was　made　independent　by　the　British　Government　within　boundaries　formally　assigned　and　pointed　out　to　him。　This　was　part　of　their　bargain。　Now　they　＇i。e。　the　Boers＇　are　negotiating　for　the　land　they　are　to　get；　and　as　the　king’s　party　have　got　all　they　wanted　to　get　out　of　the　Boers；　I　shall　not　be　surprised　if　some　difficulty　should　arise　between　them。　It　was　at　one　time　feared　that　the　Boers　might　not　respect　the　Reserve；　and　so　bring　on　a　collision　between　them　and　the　Government；　and　that　would　of　course　mean　a　very　serious　difficulty　in　the　whole　of　South　Africa；　but　I　hope　that　there　is　no　fear　of　this　for　the　present　at　any　rate。
Poor　old　Osborn　seems　to　be　quite　worn　out　by　all　the　worry　that　he　has　had　ever　since　he　left　the　Transvaal；　and　I　do　not　wonder　at　it；　he　has　not　been　allowed　to　rule；　and　yet　has　been　required　to　interfere；　so　in　the　eyes　of　the　Zulus；　as　indeed　in　those　of　everyone　else；　he　is　neither　fish；　flesh　nor　good　red　herring。　。　。　。　Sir　Henry　Bulwer　has　a　very　bad　time　of　it；　he　sees　and　says　what　ought　to　be　done；　but　there　is　no　response；　and　things　are　left　to　drift；　until　some　eddy　or　other　in　the　stream　strands　them。　I　am　very　sorry；　often；　for　him；　and　I　＇think＇　that　if　it　were　not　for　his　sense　of　loyalty　to　the　Government　at　home　he　would　throw　up。　。　。　。　I　have　had　a　serious　illness　since　I　came　back　from　England；　congestion　of　liver；　but　am　well　again。　With　much　love　to　you　both；
T。　Shepstone。
Can　anything　be　more　piteous　than　the　tale　the　aged　statesman　tells　in　the　above　epistle？　He；　of　all　men　the　most　spotless　and　upright　in　character；　to　have　reflections　made　upon　his　“personal　honesty；”　and　by　the　servants　of　the　Government　which　he　had　served　with　such　signal　faithfulness　throughout　a　long　life！　Only　a　very　little　while　before　this　letter　was　written　those　who；　or　whose　masters；　were　seeking　to　brand　him　as　a　mon　thief　had　e　to　him　for　help　in　their　difficulties；　asking　him　once　more　to　visit　Zululand　and　further　their　tortuous　and　wretched　policy　by　carrying　out　the　restoration　of　Cetewayo。　I　believe　that　the　annexation　of　the　Transvaal；　which　cost　a　million　to　surrender　and　two　or　three　hundred　times　that　sum　to　reconquer；　was　effected　at　an　expense　of　about　10；000　pounds　in　all。　It　was　this　paratively　insignificant　sum　that；　nearly　seven　years　subsequently　to　its　disbursement；　was　subjected　to　the　microscopic　examination　of　the　Treasury　clerks。　Vouchers；　as　he　says；　were　lost　or　destroyed　during　a　prolonged　siege；　and　here　was　a　great　opportunity　of　throwing　mud　at　an　honoured　name；　and　of　causing　its　owner；　already　sinking　towards　the　grave；　to　spend　his　last　years　in　poverty　by　depriving　him　of　the　pension　that　he　had　earned。
Now；　as　I　am　involved　in　this　matter　—　to　the　extent　of　45　pounds　sterling　—　I　had　better　defend　myself；　lest　in　due　course　reflections　should　be　made　upon　my　honesty　as　well　as　upon　that　of　my　Chief。　The　25　pounds　was；　I　believe；　given　to　me　to　cover　certain　out…of…pocket　expenses；　I　being　at　the　time　totally　unpaid。　The　20　pounds　was　pensation　for　a　horse　of　more　than　that　value　which　died　when　I　was　serving　with　the　Secocoeni　mission　upon　a　somewhat　arduous　business。　In　after　years　the　Treasury　wrote　to　me　direct　about　this　said　horse。　I　answered　that；　so　long　a　time　having　elapsed；　I　could　not　carry　the　details　of　the　loss　in　my　mind；　but　that　to　save　the　trouble　of　further　correspondence　I　should　be　happy；　if　they　wished　it；　to　send　them　a　cheque　for　the　amount。　To　this　proposal　I　am　still　awaiting　a　reply。
Such　is　the　treatment　that　the　greatest　Empire　in　the　world　can　mete　out　to　its　servants　if　their　services　chance　to　have　proved　inconvenient　to　the　political　prospects　of　the　party　in　power。　Well；　as　Gunnar　said　in　the　immortal　Saga；　when　one　whom　he　trusted　refused　to　help　him　in　his　uttermost　need　and　gave　him　to　his　death；　“Every　one　seeks　honour　in　his　own　fashion。”　It　would　appear　that　the　fashion　of　party　hacks；　however　exalted　or　successful；　does　not　always　agree　with　the　tradition　and　practice　of　the　average　English　gentleman。　But　over　such　a　matter　it　is　easy　to　lose　one’s　balance　and　write　without　a　desirable　moderation。　So　I　will　leave　the　facts　to　speak　for　themselves。　It　seems　to　me　that　no　words　of　mine　can　make　them　blacker　than　they　are；　nor　indeed　do　I　wish　to　dwell　upon　them　more。　To　me；　at　least；　they　are　too　painful。　Let　history　judge。
After　the　Zulu　disaster　a　mounted　corps；　which　was　christened　the　Pretoria　Horse　and　posed　for　the　most　part　of　well…bred　men；　was　enrolled　in　that　town。　In　the　emergency　of　the　times　officials　were　allowed　to　join；　a　permission　of　which　I　availed　myself。　At　a　preliminary　meeting　of　the　corps　I　was　elected　adjutant　and　one　of　the　two　lieutenants；　the　captain　being　a　Mr。　Jackson；　a　colonial　gentleman　of　great　experience。
I　was；　and　indeed　still　am；　very　proud　of　the　pliment　thus　paid　to　me　by　my　rades　while　I　was　still　so　young　a　man。　We　were　ordered　to　proceed　to　Zululand　with　Weatherley’s　corps。　As　it　chanced；　at　the　last　moment　these　orders　were　countermanded；　which　perhaps　was　fortunate　for　us；　since　otherwise　in　all　human　probability　our　bones　would　now　be　rotting　beneath　the　soil　of　Zululand　in　pany　with　those　of　the　ill…fated　Weatherley’s　Horse。
The　reason　for　this　change　of　plan　was　that　of　a　sudden　the　Boers；　seeing　the　difficulties　of　the　English　Government　and　knowing　that　the　Zulus　were　not　now　to　be　feared；　as　their　hands　were　full；　began　to　threaten　rebellion　so　vigorously　that　it　was　deemed　necessary　to　retain　us　for　the　defence　of　Pretoria。　To　the　number　of　about　three　thousand　men　they　assembled　themselves　upon　the　high　veld　at　a　distance　of　thirty　miles　from　Pretoria　and　here　formed　a　semi…permanent　armed　camp。　I　was　sent　out　in　mand　of　six　or　eight　picked　men　to　an　inn　that　I　think　was　called　Ferguson’s；　situated　a　few　miles　from　this　camp。　We　were　unarmed　except　for　our　revolvers；　and　the　object　of　my　mission　was　to　watch　the　Boers。　I　had　my　spies　in　the　camp；　and　every　night　one　or　other　of　these　men　crept　out　and　reported　to　me　what　had　taken　place　during　the　day　and　any　other　information　he　could　collect。　This　I　forwarded　to　Pretoria；　by　letter　if　I　thought　it　safe；　or；　if　I　had　reason　to　fear　that　my　messenger　would　be　stopped　and　searched；　by　means　of　different…coloured　ribbons；　each　of　which　had　a　prearranged　significance。　At　different　points　along　the　road　I　had　horsemen　hidden　day　and　night；　and；　as　my　messenger　galloped　up；　the　relief　emerged　to　meet　him；　took　the　despatch　or　the　ribbon；　and　in　his　turn　galloped　away　to　the　next　relief。　In　this　fashion　I　used　to　get　in　news　to　the　military　authorities　very　quickly；　covering　the　twenty…five　miles　of　rough　country　in　about　an　hour　even　on　the　darkest　nights。　Cochrane；　I　remember；　was　nearly　killed　by　his　horse　falling　with　him　in　the　blackness　when　engaged　upon　this　dangerous　and　exciting　duty。
I　gather　from　the　following　document　scribbled　in　pencil　by　my　captain；　but　undated；　that　somehow　has　survived　to　this　day；　that　my　letters　were　very　hurriedly　written。　Here　it　is：
Dear　Haggard；　—　Your　last　safely　to　hand。　The　only　thing　meant　in　my　last　about　writing　clearly　was　that　we　could　hardly　make　out　some　of　the　words。　Colonel　Lanyon10　said　he　coul