四季随笔-the private papers of henry ryecroft(英文版)-第7部分

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oking　at　men　in　the　multitude；　I　marvel　that　they　have　advanced　so　far。
Foolishly　arrogant　as　I　was；　I　used　to　judge　the　worth　of　a　person　by　his　intellectual　power　and　attainment。　I　could　see　no　good　where　there　was　no　logic；　no　charm　where　there　was　no　learning。　Now　I　think　that　one　has　to　distinguish　between　two　forms　of　intelligence；　that　of　the　brain；　and　that　of　the　heart；　and　I　have　e　to　regard　the　second　as　by　far　the　more　important。　I　guard　myself　against　saying　that　intelligence　does　not　matter；　the　fool　is　ever　as　noxious　as　he　is　wearisome。　But　assuredly　the　best　people　I　have　known　were　saved　from　folly　not　by　the　intellect　but　by　the　heart。　They　e　before　me；　and　I　see　them　greatly　ignorant；　strongly　prejudiced；　capable　of　the　absurdest　mis…reasoning；　yet　their　faces　shine　with　the　supreme　virtues；　kindness；　sweetness；　modesty；　generosity。　Possessing　these　qualities；　they　at　the　same　time　understand　how　to　use　them；　they　have　the　intelligence　of　the　heart。
This　poor　woman　who　labours　for　me　in　my　house　is　even　such　a　one。　From　the　first　I　thought　her　an　unusually　good　servant；　after　three　years　of　acquaintance；　I　find　her　one　of　the　few　women　I　have　known　who　merit　the　term　of　excellent。　She　can　read　and　write……that　is　all。　More　instruction　would；　I　am　sure；　have　harmed　her；　for　it　would　have　confused　her　natural　motives；　without　supplying　any　clear　ray　of　mental　guidance。　She　is　fulfilling　the　offices　for　which　she　was　born；　and　that　with　a　grace　of　contentment；　a　joy　of　conscientiousness；　which　puts　her　high　among　civilized　beings。　Her　delight　is　in　order　and　in　peace；　what　greater　praise　can　be　given　to　any　of　the　children　of　men？
The　other　day　she　told　me　a　story　of　the　days　gone　by。　Her　mother；　at　the　age　of　twelve；　went　into　domestic　service；　but　on　what　conditions；　think　you？　The　girl's　father；　an　honest　labouring　man；　PAID　the　person　whose　house　she　entered　one　shilling　a　week　for　her　instruction　in　the　duties　she　wished　to　undertake。　What　a　grinning　stare　would　e　to　the　face　of　any　labourer　nowadays；　who　should　be　asked　to　do　the　like！　I　no　longer　wonder　that　my　housekeeper　so　little　resembles　the　average　of　her　kind。
XVII
A　day　of　almost　continuous　rain；　yet　for　me　a　day　of　delight。　I　had　breakfasted；　and　was　poring　over　the　map　of　Devon　（how　I　love　a　good　map！）　to　trace　an　expedition　that　I　have　in　view；　when　a　knock　came　at　my　door；　and　Mrs。　M。　bore　in　a　great　brown…paper　parcel；　which　I　saw　at　a　glance　must　contain　books。　The　order　was　sent　to　London　a　few　days　ago；　I　had　not　expected　to　have　my　books　so　soon。　With　throbbing　heart　I　set　the　parcel　on　a　clear　table；　eyed　it　whilst　I　mended　the　fire；　then　took　my　pen…knife；　and　gravely；　deliberately；　though　with　hand　that　trembled；　began　to　unpack。
It　is　a　joy　to　go　through　booksellers'　catalogues；　ticking　here　and　there　a　possible　purchase。　Formerly；　when　I　could　seldom　spare　money；　I　kept　catalogues　as　much　as　possible　out　of　sight；　now　I　savour　them　page　by　page；　and　make　a　pleasant　virtue　of　the　discretion　I　must　needs　impose　upon　myself。　But　greater　still　is　the　happiness　of　unpacking　volumes　which　one　has　bought　without　seeing　them。　I　am　no　hunter　of　rarities；　I　care　nothing　for　first　editions　and　for　tall　copies；　what　I　buy　is　literature；　food　for　the　soul　of　man。　The　first　glimpse　of　bindings　when　the　inmost　protective　wrapper　has　been　folded　back！　The　first　scent　of　BOOKS！　The　first　gleam　of　a　gilded　title！　Here　is　a　work　the　name　of　which　has　been　known　to　me　for　half　a　lifetime；　but　which　I　never　yet　saw；　I　take　it　reverently　in　my　hand；　gently　I　open　it；　my　eyes　are　dim　with　excitement　as　I　glance　over　chapter…headings；　and　anticipate　the　treat　which　awaits　me。　Who；　more　than　I；　has　taken　to　heart　that　sentence　of　the　Imitatio……〃In　omnibus　requiem　quaesivi；　et　nusquam　inveni　nisi　in　angulo　cum　libro〃？
I　had　in　me　the　making　of　a　scholar。　ind；　I　should　have　amassed　learning。　Within　the　walls　of　a　college；　I　should　have　lived　so　happily；　so　harmlessly；　my　imagination　ever　busy　with　the　old　world。　In　the　introduction　to　his　History　of　France；　Michelet　says：　〃J'ai　passe　e　cote　du　monde；　et　j'ai　pris　l'histoire　pour　la　vie。〃　That；　as　I　can　see　now；　was　my　true　ideal；　through　all　my　battlings　and　miseries　I　have　always　lived　more　in　the　past　than　in　the　present。　At　the　time　when　I　was　literally　starving　in　London；　when　it　seemed　impossible　that　I　should　ever　gain　a　living　by　my　pen；　how　many　days　have　I　spent　at　the　British　Museum；　reading　as　disinterestedly　as　if　I　had　been　without　a　care！　It　astounds　me　to　remember　that；　having　breakfasted　on　dry　bread；　and　carrying　in　my　pocket　another　piece　of　bread　to　serve　for　dinner；　I　settled　myself　at　a　desk　in　the　great　Reading…　Room　with　books　before　me　which　by　no　possibility　could　be　a　source　of　immediate　profit。　At　such　a　time；　I　worked　through　German　tomes　on　Ancient　Philosophy。　At　such　a　time；　I　read　Appuleius　and　Lucian；　Petronius　and　the　Greek　Anthology；　Diogenes　Laertius　and……heaven　knows　what！　My　hunger　was　forgotten；　the　garret　to　which　I　must　return　to　pass　the　night　never　perturbed　my　thoughts。　On　the　whole；　it　seems　to　me　something　to　be　rather　proud　of；　I　smile　approvingly　at　that　thin；　white…faced　youth。　Me？　My　very　self？　No；　no！　He　has　been　dead　these　thirty　years。
Scholarship　in　the　high　sense　was　denied　me；　and　now　it　is　too　late。　Yet　here　am　I　gloating　over　Pausanias；　and　promising　myself　to　read　every　word　of　him。　Who　that　has　any　tincture　of　old　letters　would　not　like　to　read　Pausanias；　instead　of　mere　quotations　from　him　and　references　to　him？　Here　are　the　volumes　of　Dahn's　Die　Konige　der　Germanen：　who　would　not　like　to　know　all　he　can　about　the　Teutonic　conquerors　of　Rome？　And　so　on；　and　so　on。　To　the　end　I　shall　be　reading……and　forgetting。　Ah；　that's　the　worst　of　it！　Had　I　at　mand　all　the　knowledge　I　have　at　any　time　possessed；　I　might　call　myself　a　learned　man。　Nothing　surely　is　so　bad　for　the　memory　as　long…enduring　worry；　agitation；　fear。　I　cannot　preserve　more　than　a　few　fragments　of　what　I　read；　yet　read　I　shall；　persistently；　rejoicingly。　Would　I　gather　erudition　for　a　future　life？　Indeed；　it　no　longer　troubles　me　that　I　forget。　I　have　the　happiness　of　the　passing　moment；　and　what　more　can　mortal　ask？
XVIII
Is　it　I；　Henry　Ryecroft；　who；　after　a　night　of　untroubled　rest；　rise　unhurriedly；　dress　with　the　deliberation　of　an　oldish　man；　and　go　downstairs　happy　in　the　thought　that　I　can　sit　reading；　quietly　reading；　all　day　long？　Is　it　I；　Henry　Ryecroft；　the　harassed　toiler　of　so　many　a　long　year？
I　dare　not　think　of　those　I　have　left　behind　me；　there　in　the　ink…　stained　world。　It　would　make　me　miserable；　and　to　what　purpose？　Yet；　having　once　looked　that　way；　think　of　them　I　must。　Oh；　you　heavy…laden；　who　at　this　hour　sit　down　to　the　cursed　travail　of　the　pen；　writing；　not　because　there　is　something　in　your　mind；　in　your　heart；　which　must　needs　be　uttered；　but　because　the　pen　is　the　only　tool　you　can　handle；　your　only　means　of　earning　bread！　Year　after　year　the　number　of　you　is　multiplied；　you　crowd　the　doors　of　publishers　and　editors；　hustling；　grappling；　exchanging　maledictions。　Oh；　sorry　spectacle；　grotesque　and　heart…breaking！
Innumerable　are　the　men　and　women　now　writing　for　bread；　who　have　not　the　least　chance　of　finding　in　such　work　a　permanent　livelihood。　They　took　to　writing　because　they　knew　not　what　else　to　do；　or　because　the　literary　calling　tempted　them　by　its　independence　and　its　dazzling　prizes。　They　will　hang　on　to　the　squalid　profession；　their　earnings　eked　out　by　begging　and　borrowing；　until　it　is　too　late　for　them　to　do　anything　else……and　then？　With　a　lifetime　of　dread　experience　behind　me；　I　say　that　he　who　encourages　any　young　man　or　woman　to　look　for　his　living　to　〃literature；〃　mits　no　less　than　a　crime。　If　my　voice　had　any　authority；　I　would　cry　this　truth　aloud　wherever　men　could　hear。　Hateful　as　is　the　struggle　for　life　in　every　form；　this　rough…and…tumble　of　the　literary　arena　seems　to　me　sordid　and　degrading　beyond　all　others。　Oh；　your　prices　per　thousand　words！　Oh；　your　paragraphings　and　your　interviewings！　And　oh；　the　black　despair　that　awaits　those　down…trodden　in　the　fray。
Last　midsummer　I　received　a　circular　from　a　typewriting　person；　soliciting　my　custom；　some　one　who　had　somehow　got　hold　of　my　name；　and　fancied　me　to　be　still　in　purgatory。　This　person　wrote：　〃If　you　should　be　in　need　of　any　extra　assistance　in　the　pressure　of　your　Christmas　work；　I　hope；〃　etc。
How　otherwise　could　one　write　if　addressing　a　shopkeeper？　〃The　pressure　of　your　Christmas　work〃！　Nay；　I　am　too　sick　to　laugh。
XIX
Some　one；　I　see；　is　lifting　up　his　sweet　voice　in　praise　of　Conscription。　It　is　only　at　long　intervals　that　one　reads　this　kind　of　thing　in　our　reviews　or　newspapers；　and　I　am　happy　in　believing　that　most　English　people　are　affected　by　it　even　as　I　am；　with　the　sickness　of　dread　and　of　disgust。　That　the　thing　is　impossible　in　England；　who　would　venture　to　say？　Every　one　who　can　think　at　all　sees　how　slight　are　our　safeguards　against　that　barbaric　force　in　man　which　the　privileged　races　have　so　slowly　and　painfully　brought　into　check。　Democracy　is　full　of　menace　to　all　the　finer　hopes　of　civilization；　and　the　revival；　in　not　unnatural　panionship　with　it；　of　monarchic　power　based　on　militarism；　makes　the　prospect　dubious　enough。　There　has　but　to　arise　some　Lord　of　Slaughter；　and　the　nations　will　be　tearing　at　each　other's　throats。　Let　England　be　imperilled；　and　Englishmen　will　fight；　in　such　extremity　there　is　no　choice。　But　what　a　dreary　change　must　e　upon　our　islanders　if；　without　instant　danger；　they　bend　beneath　the　curse　of　universal　soldiering！　I　like　to　think　that　they　will　guard　the　liberty　of　their　manhood　even　beyond　the　point　of　prudence。
A　lettered　German；　speaking　to　me　once　of　his　year　of　military　service；　told　me　that；　had　it　lasted　but　a　month　or　two　longer；　he　must　have　sought　release　in　suicide。　I　know　very　well　that　my　own　courage　would　not　have　borne　me　to　the　end　of　the　twelvemonth；　humiliation；　resentment；　loathing；　would　have　goaded　me　to　madness。　At　school　we　used　to　be　〃drilled〃　in　the　playground　once　a　week；　I　have　but　to　think　of　it；　even　after　forty　years；　and　there　es　back　upon　me　that　tremor　of　passionate　misery　which；　at　the　time；　o