rekindled(英文版)-第43部分

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When；　after　an　hour　of　questions；　they　took　a　short　break；　her　lawyer
explained；　〃He　has　to　establish　a　lifestyle。　He　needs　to　determine　the
way　you　live　in　order　to　estimate　the　value　of　your　loss。〃

〃I　lost　Jeff！　How　do　you　put　a　dollar　sign　on　that？〃

The　lawyer　shrugged；　and　when　they　returned　to　the　table；　Anne　was　on
the　hot　seat　again。　Had　she　loved　her　husband？　Had　they　been　faithful　to
one　another？　What　had　she　done　when　he　was　away　on　business？

Did　she　have　friends？　Did　she　have　male　friends？

Anne　responded　in　a　low　voice；　willing　it　to　be　steady；　but　she　couldn't
hide　the　shake　of　the　hand　she　used　to　wipe　away　tears。

Mitch　whispered　something　to　his　lawyer；　who　shook　his　head　and　went　on
with　a　vengeance。

Had　Jeff　been　generous　with　her？　Did　he　buy　her　gifts？　Did　he　call　her
when　he　traveled？　How　often？　Did　he　ever　invite　her　along　on　business
trips？　；Anne　had　broken　out　in　a　cold　sweat；　but　the　questions　went　on。
〃Mrs。　Boulton；　you　were　married　for　seven　years。　Did　you　have　any
children？〃

〃No；〃　she　whispered。　〃Why　not？〃

She　was　mortified。　〃We　just…didn't　have　any。〃

〃Did　you　want　a　child？〃

〃Yes！　〃

〃Did　your　husband　want　a　child？〃

〃Yes。〃　She　brushed　at　more　tears。　〃Then　why…〃　Mitch　cut　in。　〃That's
enough；　Peter。　She's　upset。　Is　this　necessary？〃

The　lawyer　called　for　a　short　recess　and　led　Mitch　from　the　room。

Anne　bowed　her　head　and　put　a　hand　to　her　forehead。　Inhaling　deeply；　she
tried　to　steady　herself　〃Are　you　all　right？〃　her　father…in…law　asked。

Her　plea　was　a　barely　audible　whisper。　〃I　have　to　get　out　of　here。　How
much　longer　can　this　go　on？〃　She　reached　into　her　purse　for　a　tissue　to
wipe　her　eyes。

〃Not　much　longer。　Try　to　hold　up；　Anne。　Once　this　is　over；　you'll　never
have　to　face　it　again。〃

In　her　heart　Anne　knew　that　the　agony　was　just　beginning；　but　she　had　no
time　to　dwell　on　it。　Mitch　and　his　lawyer　returned　to　their　seats。

The　lawyer　said；　〃My　client　feels　strongly　that　we　have　all　the
information　we　need。　I　have　no　further　questions。〃

〃Excuse　me；〃　broke　in　the　man　who　had　been　introduced　as　counsel　for　the
manufacturing　pany。　〃If　you　have　nothing　more　to　ask；　I　do。〃

His　tone　was　ominous。　Clearly；　he　wasn't　having　his　client　go　down
without　a　fight。

Simmons　spared　Mitch　a　glance　before　saying；　〃Certainly；　Mr。　Parks；　but
try　to　be　brief　Mrs。　Boulton　is　under　a　strain。〃　To　Anne；　he　said；　〃Are
you　up　for　a　few　more　questions？〃

Anne　dared　a　look　at　Mitch；　but　his　expression　was　masked。　Angry　at　him；
angry　at　the　world；　she　turned　back　to　the　lawyer　and　nodded。

Parks　picked　up　where　Simmons　had　left　off。　〃On　the　matter　of　children；
we　want　to　know　why；　after　so　many　years　of　supposedly　wanting　them；　you
never　had　them。〃

Anne　stared　at　the　man　in　astonishment。　She　couldn't　imagine　any　greater
invasion　of　her　privacy　than　this。

Terrence　Carpenter　leaned　sideways　to　explain　in　a　low　voice；　〃They　want
to　know　the　extent　of　your　loss　in　terms　of　future　parenthood。　If　you
and　Jeff　wanted　a　child　and　he's　no　longer　here　to　sire　it；　the　loss　is
greater。　Do　you　understand？〃

She　nodded。　Yes。　She　could　understand　that。

She　took　a　breath。　〃We　wanted　to　have　a　child；　but　it　just　never　　。。。
happened。〃

〃You　mean；　you　never　conceived？〃

〃I　did　conceive。　TWICE。　I　miscarried　both　times。〃　In　the　silence　that
followed；　her　father…in…law　took　her　hand。

〃Did　you　see　doctors？〃　the　lawyer　prodded。

〃Of　course！〃　Her　voice　rose。　As　if　the　memories　weren't　painful　enough；
the　humiliation　of　airing　them　before　this　hostile　group　was　traumatic。
〃They　couldn't　find　a　cause。　They　insisted　that　another　time　the　baby
would　be　fine。〃

〃And　you　kept　trying？〃

〃How　could　I；　Mr。　Parks？　My　husband　died。〃

Her　words　brought　silence　to　the　room。　Anne　sat　stiff；　clenched　her　jaw；
and　looked　nowhere　but　at　the　lawyer；　who　quickly　redirected　the
discussion。

〃Do　you　date；　Mrs。　Boulton？〃　When　she　frowned；　he　rephrased　the
question。　〃Have　you　begun　to　date　since　your　husband's　death？〃

The　sudden　hammering　in　her　chest　threatened　to　rob　her　of　breath。　She
refused；　absolutely　refused　to　look　at　Mitch。　〃No；〃　she　whispered。

〃I'm　sorry；　I　couldn't　hear　that；　Mrs。　Boulton。〃

She　raised　her　voice。　〃No。〃　It　was　a　technicality；　she　knew；　but　she
didn't　care。

〃That's　hard　to　believe；　if　you'll　excuse　me　for　saying　so。　You're　an
attractive　young　woman。　Aren't　you　planning　to　date？〃

〃Not　now；〃　she　said　with　a　bitter　laugh。　After　what　Mitch　had　done；　she
was　a　wasteland　inside。

〃Wouldn't　you　like　to　marry　again？〃

〃No。〃

Disappointed　at　not　ferreting　out　information　that　would　help　his
client；　Parks　made　a　final　stab。　〃You　mean；　there　have　been　no　men　in
your　life…〃

〃The　woman　answered　you　once；　Mr。　Parks；〃　Peter　Simmons　broke　in
forcefully。　〃Unless　you　have　anything　different　to　ask；　I　suggest　we　let
Mrs。　Boulton　go。　There　are　other　depositions　to　be　taken；　from　my　client
and　yours。〃

Reluctantly　the　other　lawyer　agreed。　〃Very　well。　Thank　you；　Mrs。
Boulton。　I　have　no　further　questions。〃

Anne　heard　nothing　of　the　remaining　exchange。　Feeling　hollowed　out；　she
let　her　father…in…law　guide　her　from　the　room　and　the　building；　then
drive　her　home。

〃There；　now；　that　wasn't　so　bad；〃　he　said　when　they　were　back　at　Anne's
place；　but　her　silence　must　have　tipped　him　off。　He　went　to　the　liquor
cabi　and　returned　with　a　glass　of　amber　liquid。　〃Drink　this。　It'll
help。〃

She　downed　the　liquid　quickly；　sputtering　in　reaction　to　the　flame　that
scared　her　throat。　Unable　to　think；　much　less　speak；　she　let　her　head
fall　back　against　the　sofa　and　closed　her　eyes　to　the　world。

〃Let　me　call　your　mother；　Anne。　She'll　want　to　be　with　you。〃

Anne　shook　her　head　once；　then　again。

〃Are　you　sure？　Would　you　like　me　to　stay　awhile？〃

She　forced　her　head　up　and　her　eyes　open。　〃No。　I　think　I'd　like　to　be
alone。〃

He　looked　torn；　but　he　bent　and　kissed　her　head。　〃It's　over　now。　Keep
telling　yourself　that。　It's　all　over。〃　With　a　reassuring　pat　to　her
shoulder；　he　let　himself　out。

Over。　Well；　it　certainly　was　that。　Anne's　heart　might　have　grieved　for
what　had　been　lost　that　day；　but　her　mind　simply　shut　down。　Exhausted
and　in　need　of　escape；　she　dozed　off　within　minutes　right　there　on　the
sofa。　The　harsh　peal　of　the　phone　brought　her　awake　with　a　jolt。

It　was　her　mother；　filled　with　concern。　〃Ted　just　called　and　explained
what　happened。　Are　you　all　right？〃

〃Yes。　I'm　fine。〃

〃You　don't　sound　it。〃

〃I　was　sleeping。　I'm　worn　out。〃

〃Would　you　like　me　to　run　over　and　take　you　out　。。。　for　a　late　lunch；
perhaps？〃

Anne　shot　a　startled　look　at　her　watch。　It　was　nearly　two…thirty。　Lunch
had　fallen　by　the　wayside；　along　with　her　appetite。　The　thought　of　food
turned　her　stomach。

〃Anne？〃

〃Yes；　Mother。　No；　thanks。　I　don't　feel　like　eating。〃

〃Was　the　deposition　that　bad？〃

It　couldn't　have　been　worse；　she　thought。　〃It　was　。。。　　difficult。〃

〃Are　you　sure　there's　nothing　I　can　do？〃

〃I'm　sure。〃　She　forced　a　smile　into　her　voice；　for　her　mother's　sake；
but　it　vanished　the　instant　the　words　were　out。

The　older　woman　sighed。　〃All　right。　I'll　call　you　later。　Get　some　rest。〃

〃I　will。　And　thanks　for　calling；　Mom。〃

〃You're　wele；　darling。　Bye…bye。〃

She　hung　up　the　phone　thinking　that；　more　than　anything；　she　needed　a
shoulder　to　cry　on；　but　the　tears　refused　to　e。　For　a　time；　she
wandered　aimlessly　from　room　to　room；　window　to　window。　Eventually　she
changed　into　jeans　and　an　oversized　shirt　and；　barefoot；　returned　to　the
living　room。　She　felt　every　bit　the　hollow　shell　she　must　have　looked。
The　view　from　the　window　held　nothing　for　her。　Nor　did　a　glance　at　the
day's　mail。　Unable　to　muster　energy；　she　stretched　out　on　the　sofa。

One　hour　passed；　then　another；　and　the　enormity　of　the　day's　happenings
sank　in。　Mitch　had　deceived　her。　Oh；　it　might　have　started　innocently
enough　in　September；　but　in　time　she　had　mentioned　the　crash；　even　its
date；　and　the　uping　trial。　He　might　have　spoken　up　then。　He　might
have　spoken　up　last　night。

She　held　her　stomach　tightly。　If　only　she　could　cry。　If　only　she　could
scream。　Instead　she　felt　drained；　heartbroken；　half　whole。

The　telephone　rang　again。　She　tried　to　ignore　it　under　a　layer　of
pillows。　When　it　kept　up；　she　realized　that　if　it　was　her　mother　again
and　she　didn't　answer；　the　woman　would　be　on　at　her　door　in　no　time
flat。

With　an　effort；　she　dragged　herself　from　the　sofa　and　went　to　the　wall
phone　in　the　kitchen。　〃Hello？〃

〃Anne？〃　His　voice　was　deep　and；　in　spite　of　everything；　dear。

Stunned；　she　quietly　hung　up　the　phone。　Wobbly　legs　took　her　back　to　the
sofa。　She　doubled　over　there；　hugged　her　knees　to　her　chest；　and　waited
for　him　to　call　again。　In　a　matter　of　seconds；　the　phone　began　to　ring。
She　let　it　ring　and　ring　and　ring。　She　rocked　back　and　forth；　suffering
with　the　sound。　She　tried　covering　her　ears　with　her　hands；　but　the
ringing　seemed　to　grow　louder　and　louder；　more　and　more　harsh；　crueler
and　crueler。

At　last；　it　ceased。　Only　then　did　she　break　down　and　weep。

The　days　that　followed　were　pure　hell　for　Anne。　After　tears；　came
selfrecrimination。　She　had　been　naive；　she　had　been　irresponsible；　she
had　been　wanton。　She　should　never　have　returned　to　the　cabin　after　the
first　week。　She　shouldn't　even　have　stayed　there　then。

Self…recrimination　gave　way　to　anger；　and　she　railed　on　at　Mitch　for　a
while。　She　didn't　understand　how　a　person　could　do　what　he　did。　And　he
kept　calling　her！　She　cringed　each　time　the　phone　rang　and　answered　only
to　avoid　visits　from　her　family。　When　it　was　Mitch；　she　hung　up。

Her　seclusion　was　more　total　than　it　had　been　after　Jeff's　death；
because　no　one；　but　no　one；　knew　about　Mitch　and　her。　If　her　parents
sensed　that　her　reaction　to　the　deposition　was　extreme；　they　attributed
it　to　the　final　pain　of　losing　Jeff。　She　let　them　believe　that；　rather
than　having　to　tell　them　what　a　fool　she'd　been。

She　couldn't　begin　to　think　of　the　future。　Once　again；　it　was　a
frightening　void。　Each　day　was　a　challenge。　Her　only　hope　was　in　wiping
Mitch　from　her　mind；　and　it　was　easier　here　in　New　York。　They　hadn't
spent　time　together　here。　There　were　no　memories　of　him　here；