rekindled(英文版)-第46部分

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He　raked　a　hand　through　his　hair。　〃I　know　what　you　must　be　thinking
about　me；　but　you're　wrong。　It's　unfair　of　you　to　blame　me　for　what
happened　to　Jeff。〃

Anne　had　never　blamed　him　for　the　crash。　But　before　she　could　tell　him
that；　he　said；　〃It　wasn't　until　February；　when　you　were　so　sick　and　had
that　nightmare　about　the　accident　and　mentioned　the　court　hearing；　that
I　began　to　wonder　if　there　was　a　connection。　Contrary　to　your
assumption；　I　did　not　run　right　back　to　New　York　to　check　it　out。〃　He
turned　away　and　approached　the　hearth。　With　an　arm　on　its　mantel；　and　a
foot　on　the　ashstrewn　grate；　he　was　silent　for　several　minutes。　〃I
didn't　want　to　know；〃　he　finally　said。　〃My　guilt　feelings　about　that
accident　were　bad　enough；　without　having　to　bear　your　scorn。〃

But　he　was　missing　the　point！　She　didn't　blame　him　for　the　accident！

That　wasn't　the　problem！

He　went　on　without　turning。　〃I　was　tortured　ing　back　here　in　March。　I
knew　I　had　to　be　with　you；　but　I　also　knew　you　might　hate　me　even　more
afterward。〃　He　pushed　a　hand　through　his　hair。　〃You　were　bound　to　learn
the　truth　sooner　or　later。　I　wanted　to　tell　you　myself　I　just　。。。
couldn't。〃

Slowly　he　turned　to　face　her。　His　eyes　held　unfathomable　pain。　〃When　we
made　love；　Anne；　it　was　magnificent。　We　might　fight　about　little　things；
but　when　we　came　together　that　day；　it　was　heaven。　I　kept　thinking　that
if　you　knew　how　much　I　loved　you；　you'd　forgive　me。　If　I　could　have
prevented　that　accident；〃　he　said　on　a　note　of　defeat；　〃I　would　have；
believe　me；　I　would　have。〃

〃I　never　blamed　you　for　that　crash！〃

〃The　guilt　has　been　unbearable；〃　he　said　as　though　he　hadn't　heard　her。
〃It's　irrational　and　unjustified；　but　it's　real。　You　have　no　idea。
Between　the　plane　and　the　car。。　。〃　He　shook　his　head。

Anne　was　missing　something。　Quietly；　she　said；　〃What　car？〃

He　turned　away；　took　a　shuddering　breath；　straightened　in　resignation。
〃My　wife　was　killed　in　an　automobile　accident　three　weeks　before　that
plane　crash。　It　was　late　at　night。　The　roads　were　icy。　Our　car　was　hit
head　on　by　a　man　who'd　had　too　much　to　drink。〃　He　looked　back　over　his
shoulder。　〃I　was　at　the　wheel。〃

Anne　stared　dumbly　at　him；　and　suddenly　she　was　the　one　overwhelmed　with
grief　She　hadn't　asked　how　Mitch's　wife　had　died；　because　that　was
against　the　rules。　But　she　should　have　known　that　the　death　of　a　young
woman　would　be　tragic　no　matter　how　it　occurred。

〃It　wasn't　your　fault；〃　she　reasoned。

His　eyes　flashed。　〃I　was　driving！　If　only　I'd　driven　slower　or　faster；
or　taken　a　different　route。〃　He　hung　his　head。　When　he　raised　it　again；
his　anger　was　spent。　〃Remember　the　nightmare　you　had？　Mine　was　no　dream。
I　was　able　to　pull　Bey　out　of　the　car；　only　to　watch　her　die　in　my　arms。
There　was　nothing　I　could　do。　A　battered　arm　was　the　least　of　my
punishment。　The　plane　crash　seemed　an　extension　of　it。　Then〃…he　pressed
his　lips　together　and　nodded…〃then　I　found　you。〃

Anne　swallowed　hard。　He　wandered　across　the　room；　seeming　aimless；　as
though　it　didn't　matter　where　he　went。　She　had　never　seen　him　like　this；
had　never　heard　his　voice　so　bleak　or　so　sad。

〃I　had　fallen　in　love　with　you　long　before　I　made　the　connection　between
Jeff's　death　and　my　airline。　In　an　odd　way；　I　felt　you　were　my　only
chance　at　happiness；　at　building　a　new　life。　I　was　terrified　of　losing
you。　I　didn't　know　what　would　happen　when　I　told　you　what　I　knew。　I
wanted　to　think　you'd　understand；　but　the　stakes　were　so　high。〃

He　turned　to　face　her；　earnest　now。　〃I　never　lied　to　you　about　the
crash；　Anne。　I　just　didn't　tell　you　the　whole　truth。　It's　tormented　me
for　months。　But　the　longer　the　deception　went　on；　the　worse　my　sin　and
the　greater　the　risk　of　ing　clean。　I　was　afraid　that　once　you　knew；
you'd　despise　me。〃　For　a　long　and　heartrending　moment；　he　stared　at　her。
Then　he　cursed　softly。　〃What's；　what's　the　use。　It's　happened；　and　I
deserve　it。　I　was　too　blinded　by　my　own　need　to　see　to　yours。〃　He　took　a
ragged　breath。　〃I　just　wonder　when　the　punishment　will　end。〃　Turning　on
his　heel；　he　stalked　out　of　the　room；　leaving　Anne　alone　and　in　shock。

The　slam　of　the　back　door　jolted　her；　but　even　then　it　was　a　minute
before　she　could　move。　Bolting　up；　she　ran　after　him　out　of　the　house；
stumbling　on　the　steps；　catching　herself　and　running　on。　The　hammer　of
her　heart　made　breathing　difficult；　but　she　didn't　stop。

He　was　fast　disappearing　into　the　woods。　Frantically　she　followed；
running　on　through　the　low　growth　until　she　reached　a　clearing。　He　sat
there　with　his　back　to　her；　brooding　among　the　dandelions。　The　sun
glanced　off　his　hair　in　sparkles；　but　his　hunched　form　was　grim。

〃Mitch？〃

She　crept　nearer。

〃Mitch；　I'm　sorry；　so　sorry。〃　She　tried　to　touch　him；　but　pulled　back
when　he　flinched。　So　she　hunkered　down　inches　behind　him　and　said；　〃I've
been　wrong。　Please　forgive　me。　It　was　cruel　of　me　not　to　listen；　not　to
even　ask　questions；　but　it　hurt　to　know　that　there　was　so　much　I　didn't
know；　after　everything　that　we'd　shared。　Because　of　what　we'd　shared；　I
should　have　given　you　the　chance　to　explain；　but　I　loved　you　so　much。
Finding　out　who　you　were　like　that　was　awful。　Try　to　understand。〃

This　time　when　she　touched　his　shoulder；　he　allowed　it。

〃I've　always　been　nayve；〃　she　explained　not　to　make　excuses　for　herself；
but　so　that　Mitch　would　know　more。　〃My　life　was　easy　and　happy　and
charmed。　Maybe　I　felt　immune　to　tragedy。　I'd　never　known　any；　not　until
the　crash；　and　then　I　couldn't　believe　Jeff　was　gone。　It　couldn't　happen
to　me。〃

She　moved　closer。　〃Then　I　found　you。　I　love　you；　Mitch。　I　fought　it　for
a　long　time。　I　was　afraid　of　suffering　the　kind　of　pain　I　had　suffered
loving　Jeff　and　losing　him。　When　I　saw　you　in　that　lawyer's　office；　the
two　worlds　came　together。　I　should　have　trusted　you。　I　should　have　known
that　there　was　an　explanation。　So　help　me；　I　was　afraid　to　listen。　Maybe
I　was　punishing　myself。　Maybe　I　was　feeling　guilty　for　finding　happiness
with　you。〃　Her　voice　broke。

His　eyes　met　hers；　then；　and　they　were　filled　with　the　same
vulnerability　she　felt。　It　gave　her　the　strength　to　finish。

〃My　God；　Mitch；　haven't　we　both　suffered　enough？　Isn't　it　time　to　end
the　punishment？　I　love　you。〃

〃Do　you；　Anne？〃　he　asked　unsurely；　huskily；　hopefully。　〃Do　you　love　me
enough　to　want　to　wake　up　in　my　arms　every　day；　knowing　that　I　make
mistakes？〃

〃Knowing　that　you're　human？　It's　a　relief；　y'know？〃

A　sound　came　from　his　throat；　no；　from　his　soul；　it　was　that　deep；　and
he　pulled　her　around　and　crushed　her　in　his　arms。　〃I　love　you；　Annie；〃
he　whispered　with　a　rush　of　feeling。　〃Don't　ever；　ever　turn　away　from　me
again。　Don't　shut　me　out。　I　can't　survive　it。〃

He　kissed　her；　then　pulled　back　and　made　a　show　of　licking　his　lips。
〃Salt？〃

She　smiled　through　her　tears。　〃That's　happiness。　You'll　have　to　bear
with　me。〃

〃I　think　I　can　manage　it；〃　he　said　with　infinite　tenderness　and　brushed
the　tears　from　her　cheeks。　〃I　do　love　you。〃

He　showed　her　how　much　right　there　under　the　sun；　worshipping　her　first
with　clothes；　then　without；　making　love　to　her　on　the　soft　carpet　of　new
grass　and　dandelion　puffs。　It　was　hotter；　harder；　sweeter　than　it　had
ever　been　before；　a　preview　of　what　it　might　be　in　twenty　or　thirty
years'　time。

When　later　they　lay　still　and　let　the　sun　stroke　their　naked　bodies；　she
nuzzled　his　neck。　〃This　is　heaven。〃

He　patted　her　bottom。　〃Let's　hope　there's　no　poison　ivy　around　here。〃

When　she　bolted　upright；　he　burst　out　laughing。

〃Is　there？〃　she　asked。

He　pulled　her　back　to　his　chest。　〃No　poison　ivy。　Just　me。〃

〃Will　you　give　me　a　rash？〃

He　laughed　again。　〃Hopefully　one　very　special　itch　now　and　again；　never
a　rash。〃

She　stretching　against　him；　so　pleased　to　hear　him　laugh　and　know　she
was　its　cause。　〃You　have　no　idea　how　I　love　you。〃

〃Not　as　much　as　I　love　you。〃

〃No？　Wanna　bet　on　that？〃

〃You're　on；〃　he　said　and　rolled　over　her　to　settle　the　matter。

Through　no　lack　of　trying；　it　was　far　from　settled　by　the　next　morning。
Awakening　with　the　sun　in　a　happy　glo　his　bed；
pulled　on　his　large　shirt；　and　went　to　the　front　door。　As　it　opened　she
caught　the　sweet　scent　of　the　lilacs。　In　the　week's　tumult　she　hadn't
noticed　them　before。　Now　she　smiled　in　delight　at　the　shapely
pink…purple　clusters　and　the　full；　rich　fragrance。

Snapping　off　a　small　cluster；　she　returned　to　his　bed；　dropped　the
shirt；　and　slid　quietly　between　the　sheets。　She　lay　on　her　stomach　and
watched　Mitch　sleep；　seeing　the　same　peace　on　his　face　that　she　felt
inside。

One　sleepy　hazel　eye　opened。　He　smiled　lazily。

She　moved　the　spray　of　lavender　under　his　nose。　〃The　lilacs　are　in
bloom。　Spring　is　here。〃　As　her　lover's　hand　wound　through　her　hair　to
draw　her　in　for　a　good　morning　kiss；　she　knew　that　it　truly　was。

。　…　手机访问　m。………
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