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new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第70部分

小说: new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版) 字数: 每页4000字

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〃Motorcycle?〃 he asked。 I knew his voice well enough to hear something brewing 
behind the calm。 
〃I guess I didn't tell Alice about that part。〃 
〃No。〃 
〃Well; about that See; I found that when I was doing something dangerous 
or stupid I could 
remember you more clearly;〃 I confessed; feeling pletely mental。 〃I could 
remember how your voice 
sounded when you were angry。 I could hear it; like you were standing right 
there next to me。 Mostly I 
tried not to think about you; but this didn't hurt so much—it was like you 
were protecting me again。 Like 
you didn't want me to be hurt。 
〃And; well; I wonder if the reason I could hear you so clearly was because; 
underneath it all。 I always 
knew that you hadn't stopped loving me。〃 
Again; as I spoke; the words brought with them a sense of conviction。 Of 
rightness。 Some deep place 
inside me recognized truth。 
His words came out half…strangled。 〃You were risking your life to hear—
〃 
〃Shh;〃 I interrupted him。 〃Hold on a second。 I think I'm having an epiphany 
here。〃 
I thought of that night in Port Angeles when I'd had my first delusion。 I'd 
e up with two options。 
Insanity or wish fulfillment。 I'd seen no third option。 
But what if 
What if you sincerely believed something was true; but you were dead wrong? 
What if you were so 
stubbornly sure that you were right; that you wouldn't even consider the 
truth? Would the truth be 
silenced; or would it try to break through? 
Option three: Edward loved me。 The bond forged between us was not one that 
could be broken by 
absence; distance; or time。 And no matter how much more special or beautiful 
or brilliant or perfect than 
me he might be; he was as irreversibly altered as I was。 As I would always 
belong to him; so would he 
always be mine。 
Was that what I'd been trying to tell myself? 
〃Oh!〃 
〃Bella?〃 
〃Oh。 Okay。 I see。〃 
〃Your epiphany?〃 he asked; his voice uneven and strained。 
〃You love me;〃 I marveled。 The sense of conviction and Tightness washed 
through me again。 
Though his eyes were still anxious; the crooked smile I loved best flashed 
across his face。 〃Truly; I do。〃 
My heart inflated like it was going to crack right through my ribs。 It filled 
my chest and blocked my throat 
so that I could not speak。 
He really did want me the way I wanted him—forever。 It was only fear for my 
soul; for the human things 
he didn't want to take from me; that made him so desperate to leave me mortal。 
pared to the fear 
that he didn't want me; this hurdle—my soul—seemed almost insignificant。 
He took my face tightly between his cool hands and kissed me until I was so 
dizzy the forest was 
spinning。 Then he leaned his forehead against mine; and I was not the only one 
breathing harder than 
usual。 
〃You were better at it than I was; you know;〃 he told me。 
〃Better at what?〃 
〃Surviving。 You; at least; made an effort。 You got up in the morning; tried to 
be normal for Charlie; 
followed the pattern of your life。 When I wasn't actively tracking; I was 
totally useless。 I couldn't be 
around my family—I couldn't be around anyone。 I'm embarrassed to admit that I 
more or less curled up 
into a ball and let the misery have me。〃 He grinned; sheepish。 〃It was much 
more pathetic than hearing 
voices。 And; of course; you know I do that; too。〃 
I was deeply relieved that he really seemed to understand—forted that this 
all made sense to him。 At 
any rate; he wasn't looking at me like I was crazy。 He was looking at me like
 he loved me。 
〃I only heard one voice;〃 I corrected him。 
He laughed and then pulled me tight against his right side and started to lead 
me forward。 
〃I'm just humoring you with this。〃 He motioned broadly with his hand toward 
the darkness in front of us 
as we walked。 There was something pale and immense there—the house; I 
realized。 〃It doesn't matter in 
the slightest what they say。〃 
〃This affects them now; too。〃 
He shrugged indifferently。 
He led me through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the 
lights on。 The room was just 
as I'd remembered it—the piano and the white couches and the pale; massive 
staircase。 No dust; no 
white sheets。 
Edward called out the names with no more volume than I'd use in regular 
conversation。 〃Carlisle? Esme? 
Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?〃 They would hear。 
Carlisle was suddenly standing beside me; as if he'd been there all along。 
〃Wele back; Bella。〃 He 
smiled。 〃What can we do for you this morning? I imagine; due to the hour; that 
this is not a purely social 
visit?〃 
I nodded。 〃I'd like to talk to everyone at once; if that's okay。 About 
something important。〃 
I couldn't help glancing up at Edward's face as I spoke。 His expression was 
critical; but resigned。 When I 
looked back to Carlisle; he was looking at Edward; too。 
〃Of course;〃 Carlisle said。 〃Why don't we talk in the other room?〃 
Carlisle led the way through the bright living room; around the corner to the 
dining room; turning on lights 
as he went。 The walls were white; the ceilings high; like the living room。 In 
the center of the room; under 
the low…hanging chandelier; was a large; polished oval table surrounded by 
eight chairs。 Carlisle held out 
a chair for me at the head。 
I'd never seen the Cullens use the dining room table before—it was just a 
prop。 They didn't eat in the 
house。 
As soon as I turned to sit in the chair; I saw that we were not alone。 Esme 
had followed Edward; and 
behind her the rest of the family filed in。 
Carlisle sat down on my right; and Edward on my left。 Everyone else took their 
seats in silence。 Alice 
was grinning at me; already in on the plot。 Emmett and Jasper looked curious; 
and Rosalie smiled at me 
tentatively。 My answering smile was just as timid。 That was going to take some 
getting used to。 
Carlisle nodded toward me。 〃The floor is yours。〃 
I swallowed。 Their gazing eyes made me nervous。 Edward took my hand under the 
table。 I peeked at 
him; but he was watching the others; his fate suddenly fierce。 
〃Well;〃 I paused。 〃I'm hoping Alice has already told you everything that 
happened in Volterra?〃 
〃Everything;〃 Alice assured me。 
I threw her a meaningful look。 〃And on the way?〃 
〃That; too;〃 she nodded。 
〃Good;〃 I sighed with relief。 〃Then we're all on the same page。〃 
They waited patiently while I tried to order my thoughts。 
〃So; I have a problem;〃 I began。 〃Alice promised the Volturi that I would 
bee one of you。 They're 
going to send someone to check; and I'm sure that's a bad thing—something to 
avoid。 
〃And so; now; this involves you all。 I'm sorry about that。〃 I looked at each 
one of their beautiful faces; 
saving the most beautiful for last。 Edward's mouth was turned down into a 
grimace。 〃But; if you don't 
want me; then I'm not going to force myself on you; whether Alice is willing 
or not。〃 
Esme opened her mouth to speak; but I held up one finger to stop her。 
〃Please; let me finish。 You all know what I want。 And I'm sure you know what 
Edward thinks; too。 I 
think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote。 If you 
decide you don't want me; then 
I guess I'll go back to Italy alone。 I can't have them ing here。〃 My 
forehead creased as I considered 
that。 
There was the faint rumble of a growl in Edward's chest。 I ignored him。 
〃Taking into account; then; that I won't put any of you in danger either way; 
I want you to vote yes or no 
on the issue of me being a vampire。〃 
I half…smiled on the last word; and gestured toward Carlisle to begin。 
〃Just a minute;〃 Edward interrupted。 
I glared at him through narrowed eyes。 He raised his eyebrows at me; squeezing 
my hand。 
〃I have something to add before we vote。〃 
I sighed。 
〃About the danger Bella's referring to;〃 he continued。 〃I don't think we need 
to be overly anxious。〃 
His expression became more animated。 He put his free hand on the shining table 
and leaned forward。 
〃You see;〃 he explained; looking around the table while he spoke; 〃there was 
more than one reason why 
I didn't want to shake Aro's hand there at the end。 There's something they 
didn't think of; and I didn't 
want to cine them in。〃 He grinned。 
〃Which was?〃 Alice prodded。 I was sure my expression was just as skeptical as 
hers。 
〃The Volturi are overconfident; and with good reason。 When they decide to find 
someone; it's not really a 
problem。 Do you remember Demetri?〃 He glanced down at me。 
I shuddered。 He took that as a yes。 
〃He finds people—that's his talent; why they keep him。 
〃Now; the whole time we were with any of them; I was picking their brains for 
anything that might save 
us; getting as much information as possible。 So I saw how Demetri's talent 
works。 He's a tracker—a 
tracker a thousand times more gifted than Jarres was。 His ability is loosely 
related to what I do; or what 
Aro does。 He catches the flavor? I don't know how to describe it the tenor
 of someone's mind; 
and then he follows that。 It works over immense distances。 
〃But after Aro's little experiments; well〃 Edward shrugged。 
〃You think he won't be able to find me;〃 I said flatly。 
He was smug。 〃I'm sure of it。 He relies totally on that other sense。 When it 
doesn't work with you; they'll 
all be blind。〃 
〃And how does that solve anything?〃 
〃Quite obviously; Alice will be able to tell when they're planning a visit; 
and I'll hide you。 They'll be 
helpless;〃 he said with fierce enjoyment。 〃It will be like looking for a piece 
of straw in a haystack!〃 
He and Emmett exchanged a glance and a smirk。 
This made no sense。 〃But they can find you;〃 I reminded him。 
〃And I can take care of myself。〃 
Emmett laughed; and reached across the table toward his brother; extending a 
fist。 
〃Excellent plan; my brother;〃 he said with enthusiasm。 
Edward stretched out his arm to smack Emmett's fist with his own。 
〃No;〃 Rosalie hissed。 
〃Absolutely not;〃 I agreed。 
〃Nice。〃 Jasper's voice was appreciative。 
〃Idiots;〃 Alice muttered。 
Esme just glared at Edward。 
I straightened up in my chair; focusing。 This was my meeting。 
〃All right; then。 Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider;〃 I 
said coolly。 〃Let's vote。〃 
I looked toward

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